Complications
by Timetakesitall
Summary: Faced with an impossible decision, Caroline finds herself on the doorstep of Klaus, pleading for help to save the life of someone she loves. Klaroline and Bamon with slight Delena.
1. Complications

**Complications **

Caroline hesitated at the door. Unsure of how to proceed she waited. She understood what she was asking; she understood the choice she was making but under the circumstance, she was left with no other choice. She waited; the old clock from the living room of the Miklaelson mansion chimed, the sound resonated within her chest reminding her of her surroundings and who waited in the room next door. Thinking back, she attempted to piece together the events that led her to this place, the choices that were made that at the time seemed so simplistic in their nature but resulted in earth shattering consequences.

Things were so easy when you were a young 17 year old girl in high school. It was so easy being a young girl in high school, the hardest decision of the day meant choosing which table to sit at in the cafeteria, which boy to take to the dance and which dress to wear. This is what she missed most about being human. The simplicity. Gone were the days where decisions were black and white, where the right decision was transparent and easy for all to see. The end of her human life came with a heavy price, not only did it mean giving up the simplicity of her old life, but it also meant confronting decisions that were no longer easy to make. Decisions that lead her to _his _place, to _his _door.

She pushed the door open slowly making her way over to the fire place where _he _stood. She hesitated again giving him time to make himself aware of her presence in the room. Admiring him from the back she allowed her mind to ponder the man in front of her. _Complicated she decided. _That's who he was. He was complicated. He oozed complications as well as something else many would never realize, vulnerability. Vulnerability, something he would scorn and see as a weakness, something he would never admit to being but she knew better. She had seen it. In his darkest moments, it was in those moments when he committed his most hateful acts of violence and bloodshed that she saw it, a small glimpse that disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, a man who had the world at his feet, yet no one to share it with. Vulnerability.

He was a monster. She knew this. Her friends knew this. This town knew this. _Yet, _there was something about this monster that kept her awake at night, that glimpse of vulnerability that she had seen on his face replaying itself in her mind continuously, torturing her with questions she had no right to ask, questions she knew that she would never have the courage to ask. He was a monster, yes. But he was a beautiful monster and as nature demands- beautiful things are so easily broken.

She continued to stare at his back watching him drink from his glass, his shoulders remained rigid in place giving her the indication that he was indeed aware of her presence in the room. The golden nature of the man in front of her glistened by the light provided by the fire, he turned slightly acknowledging her with a sideways glance. Caroline knew this was her chance to speak, he had made the first move by acknowledging her presence, and the ball was now in her court.

"I need your help" she whispered. The words seemed to bounce off the walls in the room, mocking her with the weak nature of what she requested. Klaus turned to her, taking in her presence, she was beautiful he concluded. A breath of fresh air, a blinding ray of sunlight that lit up your world seeking out all pockets of darkness smothering it with beauty and light until there was nothing left to do but to surrender to its golden nature, to fall to your knees and succumb. He had seen beauty before, in all shapes and forms. He had traveled the world; he had seen many women, faceless women who never left an impression, never were more than a passing fancy. But not her. Not Caroline. She had burst into his life with such vibrant color that left him staggering.

He smiled slightly, raising his glass to his lips he stared at her over the rim taking in her beauty. "What can I do for you?" Caroline internally cringed. She hated being here; she hated to ask him for anything. She thought back to the millions of other places she would love to be if only it meant she didn't have to be here, asking him, asking him for something so precious, something that meant so much.

"I can't let her die" she responded quietly. Klaus lowered his glass considering the severity of her words; he knew who she was talking about yet found himself asking anyway "You can't let who die?" Caroline glowered at him, yet responded calmly "You know who I'm talking about". Klaus let out a boyish laugh, his laughter filing up the room, contributing to the mounting tension that seemed to suffocate all who were within range. He placed his glass on the mantel regarding Caroline with a leer "I know who you are referring to love, but I'm curious as to why you think I can help you, and even if I can, why I would want to?" he asked with interest. Caroline took a deep breath staring Klaus down "I can't let her do this, I can't let her die. She doesn't have to do this. She can't keep doing this, time and time again, giving up everything so others can live" she replied helplessly. Klaus turned his head slightly studying the blond goddess in front of him as if she was one of his paintings that required a few finishing touches "She's the only one that can do it. She's the only one that can perform the spell. It has to be a Bennett witch and she's the last of her line" He responded. Caroline grimaced, her face contorting in pain as she considered his words. _Bonnie was_ indeed the last of the Bennett line and if she continued with this path she would be the end of the Bennett blood line as well. Holding her breath to calm her nerves Caroline swallowed her mounting panic. She couldn't let her do this. Living in a world without her was unacceptable. Turning her eyes on Klaus she opened her mouth to respond when he began to walk away, suddenly finding it difficult to be in the same room as her and denying her the one thing he knew she desperately wanted. Salvation for someone she loved. With his hand on the door knob he turned it slightly but stopped as her voice rang out, stopping him in his tracks. "I know there's someone else, someone that could perform the spell and you know where to find her" Klaus turned to stare at her, Caroline with her all her beauty, Caroline for whom he would have sworn could rival Helen of troy in beauty, Caroline for whom he himself would have set sail a thousand ships to win over, Caroline who now stared at him, eyes so wide, eyes pleading with him. He knew how this was going to end, a Greek tragedy. Only he remained unsure of who would meet their tragic end.


	2. A past long forgotten

**Authors Note: Thank you for all the reviews! I really appreciate it! They keep me going! xx**

**A past long forgotten **

_Some say hell is endless; they say it's our worst nightmare, the face of our darkness. But whatever it is, however it is, I say hell is empty, and all the devils are here. _

Hell, a concept he hadn't spent much time pondering. A creature who could live forever, with an infinite life span needn't spend time thinking over such a thing. Pointless, he decided. That's what hell was. Pointless. He did not believe that such a place was necessary, a realm where punishment was dealt out on a regular basis, where souls were stripped of their dignity, of their beauty and were tortured until they no longer recognized the feeling within their bones, where they lost all meaning of humanity.

Pointless. That's what it was. Living century after century taught him many things, some with ease and others with struggle. But one lesson stood out, remained clear as the blue sky on a warm summers day, Hell was what you made of it. You need not wait for death to experience the darkness of humanity and the misery on earth; you need not wait for your breath to leave your body. Hell was very easily bought to you. Hell was very easily what you decided it was. For Niklaus Mikaelson, Hell meant many things. It meant centuries alone carting his family around within coffins from city to city, it meant running from the man who raised you as a child and tortured you as an adult, but most of all, Hell for Niklaus Mikaelson meant being alone.

He pondered the concept of hell, letting his mind wonder off with his hand on the door he now realized he could not open. He turned around slowly to face Caroline, staring her down he realized how beautiful she looked when she stood defiant. He realized the irony of the statement, but he quickly decided that she looked most beautiful when she stood against him. Not breaking eye contact he attempted to translate the look in her eyes, defiance, courage, anxiety and something else he could not place, but the one thing he recognized above all, fear. She was afraid, perhaps not of the man himself but of his answer.

"I don't know of whom you speak, you must be mistaken" he responded politely.

Caroline smiled sadly however the look in her eyes did not waver, he noted with disappointment. "You and I both know that you're lying, there is another witch out there, someone else that could possibly perform the spell. For someone who has been obsessed with finding the cure for Vampirism so you could continue creating your hybrids you sure are cagey with the details"

_Someone_ had been talking.

Klaus clenched his jaw tightly counting backwards in Latin, a trick he had learned many years ago as a form of maintaining control of his often violent temper.

_Someone _had been talking; he thought with barely concealed rage, Suicide. That's what it was. So who would be foolish enough to make such a monumental mistake? To gamble their life away so easily, it didn't make sense.

Until it did.

Rebekah.

"Talking to my sister have we love? I would have hoped you would have known better then to listen to the ravings of a woman scorned"

_Caroline groaned resting her head on her arms, she sat sullenly on a stool at the bar of Mystic Grill, her drink long forgotten, she sighed loudly. It was happening again. She willed the thoughts away, the same thoughts that were haunting her day in and day out since she realized what they had been planning. She was going to die. Bonnie was going to die. Her life once again had been bartered away, auctioned off to the highest bidder. She was going to die she realized with horror as the reality of the situation began to settle in. Bonnie, sweet Bonnie, Bonnie who argued, fought and battled so bravely for the protection of the people she loved. Bonnie who showed up on her door the day her father left with a copy of my girl, a box of chocolates and a smile that shied away the sun. Bonnie who lost so much since vampires had made their way into this town, Bonnie who continued to suffer day after day and yet there was something about her, something so bright and shiny that Caroline admired most about her friend. _

_Resilience, Bonnie remained resilient in the face of obstacles. She battled on like a warrior._

_A soldier, Caroline decided. That's what she was. A solider. A soldier that was fighting a war, a war against the inhabitants of this town, a war that never seemed to come to an end. Caroline wondered why they hadn't left. Why they hadn't packed their bags and left this god forsaken town in their rearview mirror when they realized that they were giving up too much, spilling too much blood in its name. _

_Or in her name._

_Caroline wished she could will away the ugly thoughts that found their way into her mind with more and more fervor, each time piercing her world with shattering epiphanies that she wished she could forget. _

_But the fact remained; Elena Gilbert was a magnet for the supernatural. Elena Gilbert would always be a magnet. Caroline loved Elena and she always would love Elena. Elena with her beautiful smile, warm brown eyes and compassionate nature. Elena was her friend. But how many people was Caroline willing to lose in her name? How many people would have to die so Elena could live? Were the lives of others so meaningless in comparison to hers? Caroline cringed at the direction of which her thoughts had chosen to take, Caroline loved Elena, she did. _

_But she loved Bonnie too. Loved her like a sister. For Caroline, Bonnie was family. Bonnie was her person, her safety blanket that she ran to when the world got too ugly, too confusing for her to understand. Bonnie would be there, arms open and wide, supportive, bright, happy. Bonnie was her person. Caroline wished there was a way to go back, go back in time to before Bonnie realized she was a witch, she wished there was a way she could have confronted Sheila Bennett, begging her to keep Bonnies lineage a secret, begging her to find a way to make it so Bonnie never realized she was a Bennett witch. So the darkness of this town never touched her shiny world, where she remained Bonnie Bennett, Caroline Forbes best friend and cheerleader of Mystic falls high. Not Bonnie Bennett, resident go-to witch, savior of Mystic Falls, a world where she wasn't Bonnie Bennett the last of the Bennett blood line. _

"_I thought I would find you here" Caroline froze, of all the people she thought she would run into tonight, of all the people she thought she would have to avoid so she could partake in a pity party at the bar, she was not on the list._

_Rebekah Mikaelson smiled widely, surprising Caroline meant mission accomplished, slinking over to the bar she sat down in the vacant seat motioning to the bartender for a drink she turned her eyes on the young vampire sitting in front of her. "I thought I would be of some assistance to your witch problem" she continued when she realized she was not going to get a response out of her Blonde companion._

_Offended by the bored tone that Rebekah had chosen to use with her, Caroline glared at the original vampire with disdain, Rebekah did not offer assistance, not ever. Not without a price. "Oh yeah?" she scoffed "and what exactly do you want in return?" _

"_Who said I wanted anything in return? Perhaps I simply want to make amends for the past and start afresh?" _

_Caroline let out a laugh, "You have got to be kidding me, you tried to kill Matt, you succeeded in killing Elena, which turned her into a Vampire which is the reason why we are in the situation that we are in now" _

_Rebekah sighed loudly, perhaps this wasn't going to be as easy as she originally thought. "I am aware of my past grievances, which is why I'm here to offer my help" _

_Caroline fought back the sarcastic remark that threatened to emerge. She didn't believe a word Rebekah had to say, each word dripping with promises of their own agenda, yet Caroline was suffocating, suffocating with desperation, desperation to save Bonnies life. Even if it meant making a deal with the devil herself and in this case the devil happened to be blond and in stilettos. _

"_What do you know" she asked quietly._

_Rebekah smiled in victory, she had her. Hook line and sinker. She swallowed her drink in one go turning to face Caroline. "What do you know about our history? How we came to be what we are?" Caroline stared at her in confusion "I know what you told Elena, that your mother and father feared the wolves after the loss of your brother so your mother did a spell to turn you into vampires" Rebekah grinned to herself "That's the story I told Elena, what if I told you there was more to it?" _

"_How much more?" Caroline asked with trepidation_

_Rebekah grinned "Enough to change your mind regarding that fresh start I previously suggested"_

The sound of her cell phone ringing bought Caroline crashing back to reality as she realized she was still standing trial in the Mikaelson Mansion and by the icy stature of the Hybrid in question, he was about to act as her judge, juror and executioner.

"Scorned or not, she had some interesting things to say regarding the Bennett bloodline"

"_You're telling me it wasn't Esther that changed you into Vampires?" _

_Rebekah rolled her eyes in frustration, "It was my mother's spell and my mother's intent for the spell to be carried out, but it was not her magic that gave us immortality. My mother did not have the power to perform such a spell"_

"_So who did?"_

_Rebekah smiled sipping on her drink in contemplation "Now you're asking the right question. The witch Ayana warned my mother of the consequences she would face if she went through with her plan. But my mother was prepared and was one step ahead. She knew she did not have the bloodline to support such a spell, a spell that would draw power from a witches' lineage for generations to come. She did not have that sort of power, but Ayanas bloodline did" _

_Caroline's eyes widened in surprise, a sinking feeling began to grow in the pit of her stomach. "The Bennett bloodline" she whispered, the pieces of the puzzle began to slowly fall into place. The constant presence of Bennett witches throughout original vampire history, their history was intertwined. There was no way to save Bonnie. _

_Caroline jumped out of her seat, blinded by tears she grabbed her handbag turning to leave, Rebekah reached out grabbing the young vampire by the wrist halting her movements "Where are you going? I haven't finished" Caroline roughly pulled her arm out of her grasp glaring angrily, enraged she felt the tears threatening to break free of their dam "What do you mean where am I going? You just said it was the Bennett bloodline that turned you; it's always going to be about her damn bloodline! She's going to die, she's going to die because the one thing that can save her is the one thing she can't change about herself, the one thing she can't escape!" turning to leave Rebekah took hold of her arm once again shoving her back into her seat, she stared the young vampire down. _

"_I told you I wasn't finished. Like I told Elena previously, Ayana had refused to do the spell, she feared that the spirits would turn on her and her magic, but Ayana was not the only one who had the power to perform the spell, Ayana had a daughter who shared her gift of magic, and shared her blood. It was Arianna's magic that gave birth to the Vampire species" _

"_But I don't understand how this helps Bonnie?" Caroline asked in confusion_

_Rebekah laughed merrily at the expense of her companion, how fickle they were. "All magic comes with a price, Arianna knew that, and the spirits did not disappoint, they turned on her"_

_Caroline didn't understand, what the connection was between Rebekahs history and Bonnie. One question however, sprang to mind "But wait, if she knew they would turn on her why did she do it?_

"_Ding Ding Ding! And that is the million dollar question, why would a witch perform such a spell, tapping into dark forbidden places, dealing with magic beyond her years, what did she have to gain from it?"_

_Caroline remained silent, the question hung in the air without an answer. Rebekah rolled her eyes dramatically flipping her golden locks off her shoulder; she motioned the bartender for a refill. _

"_She loved him. She would have done anything for him. From a young age, Arianna and Niklaus were inseparable; she hung onto his every word. He could no wrong in her eyes, and she could do no wrong in his. My mother knew this, she knew Arianna would cross the seven levels of hell for my brother, and she took advantage of it" Rebekah paused momentarily blinded by memories of a young girl with vibrant brown eyes, warm as the earth. "Of course we remained ignorant of my mother's plans, by the time we found out it was too late. The spirits had turned on her" _

_Caroline was not expecting this. Of all the things, she was not expecting a story about a human Klaus, a human Klaus that had feelings, a human Klaus that had once loved. This was not what she wanted to hear, she wanted to hear about the cruelty of Klaus, the destruction he had caused before he came to Mystic Falls, she wanted more reasons to hate him, not pity him. "So what happened to her?"_

"_It's funny how moral witches are, there's a reason why they make all the rules on the other side. I could never really comprehend why that was the case, but with time I began to understand, It was because they made all the sacrifices in this world. Every living creature connected to the earth comes into this world with limited time. It is that limited time that allows them to experience everything nature has to offer with fulfillment knowing that one day they will die and become part of the earth, witches being the servants of nature knew this better than anyone" _

_Caroline knew that what Rebekah would say next would change everything._

"_She's still alive isn't she?" _

_Rebekah smiled sadly. "Arianna was an empath, the spirits knew this. They knew how important family is to a witch, how important it was to her. When they turned on her, they punished her in a way more torturous then death, they punished her with time. They tied her life to Niklaus, to mine, to Elijah's, to Finns to Kols. For centuries she would watch her kin live and die, she would never know peace. Disconnected from her family, neither alive nor dead. Arianna would feel the pain of our every victim, every single victim of her magic. She would feel their pain and live with it. " _

_Dropping a few notes next to her empty glass Rebecca got up to leave. _

_Caroline looked up "why are you helping me?" she asked._

_Without turning around Rebekah answered her in the best way she knew how, which surprisingly sounded very much like the truth._

"_Karma. __See, I'm a big believer in karma. I think it's amazing how most of the time tragedy befalls a man who just isn't living right. Karma finds us all in time, but, you know? I find that sometimes it helps to just point it in the right direction" Smiling to herself Rebekah walked off leaving Caroline to her thoughts. _

_Rebekahs words were not lost on her. She understood them perfectly. This was Klaus's karma._

Caroline shook her head slightly, pushing pass the memories of that night at the grill. She fixed her gaze on the vampire hybrid in front of her. She hadn't come here tonight to go over the past. She had to push on through. "There's another Bennett witch out there, which means there's another witch to do the spell, the spell to make Elena human again"

With a tilt of his head Klaus allowed himself a moment to study Caroline openly, he had underestimated her. When she first entered his home tonight he had assumed she had come to him vulnerable without anyone to turn to, he assumed she had come to him seeking his _comfort. _

Oh how wrong he was.

With a shake of his head he turned his gaze on her

"Caroline, why are you here? You come asking questions that you know I will not answer. So why did you come?"

She was right all along; she knew he would not answer her. If she was honest, part of her knew he would not help her. But she came anyway.

"Humanity Klaus, I wanted to see your humanity. You have everyone believing that you turned that switch off a long time ago and yeah, maybe you did. But tonight, tonight I see it loud and clear for the world to see. That's why I came here. I don't need your help to find her Klaus, But you should know, I will find her"

Pointless. Klaus had believed that Hell was pointless. A realm after death created solely for the purpose of punishment and torture, an endless nightmare of darkness and shadows, the smell of burnt flesh in the air. He believed it was pointless, he was immortal. He would never know such things.

But he was wrong. Hell was what you made of it. All the devils of Hell had been unleashed.

Hell had come to mystic falls, and the devils had come for him.


	3. The monster under the bed

**Authors Note: Hey guys I know I've updated quite a bit recently but I had heaps of ideas and wanted to put it into words as soon as possible! Would love to get a few reviews and any ideas any of you have! (Also would love to actually see what you guys think too) Oh and of course, constructive criticism is welcome! **

**Chapter 3 - The monster under the bed**

_We stopped looking for monsters under the bed when we realized they lived within us. _

Monster

A word used to describe him many times. Looking back he understood the description, he had done things that could be described as frightening. He had pillaged towns, coveted where he could, he had taken from others, stolen, killed, intimidated lied, He had done whatever he wanted wherever he wanted with no regard for the feelings of others. Yes, he concluded. He was indeed a monster, a monster with blood on his hands. He didn't care much for labels or for the opinions of others, but today felt different. Today he felt the monster within rear its ugly head, simmering beneath the surface begging to be unleashed, today the word monster felt real.

As he watched Caroline make her way over to her car, he watched her from his window. It was a full moon he noted with disinterest, no longer being forced to turn, the full moon meant very little. However, the shadows it created over the angles and planes of Caroline Forbes's face were of great interest to him. He was angry, yes. Infuriated, yes; yet despite it all, he found himself enthralled by the beautiful girl that had stood before him tonight. The courage it must have taken to stand in front of him, playing with fire without a fear of being burned, and he could burn. He could set the whole town on fire if he wished to. Tonight he was tempted to. She had made her first move and gained herself a pawn. But the Queen remained on the board, and if there was one thing Niklaus Mikaelson knew, it was how to strategize a great game of chess.

She had surprised him tonight. Eerily he recalled the words of his former companion Stefan when he too had surprised him- _"For someone who has always been a step ahead, were you expecting this?"_

The truth was, this was the last thing he had expected. While he should have expected the wrath of Rebekah to eventually rear its ugly head, he did not expect this. He did not expect to be confronted with a past he desperately tried to forget, a past he had spent centuries burying, suppressing and forgetting only to have it reopened. Long ago he had learned that there were some wounds that would never heal, even with the passing of time. So you patch up those wounds the best way you can and you forget, and when you can't forget, you find new ways of making yourself forget. A lesson Klaus had learned a long time ago.

Picking up his phone he scrolled through his contacts until he found the name he was looking for, he waited silently for her to pick up.

"Hello Nik" Rebekah greeted her brother brightly, "I've been expecting your call" the sound of her voice so chipper and happy sent shivers of rage throughout his body tempting the monster within. _Let me out _it whispered.

Klaus clenched his cell phone tightly within his hand, controlling the monster, reining it in. There was no way to kill his sister, and daggering her over and over again would render her useless, especially since she could still be of some use to him.

_Calm down _he urged the monster within, silencing its thoughts.

"Sister, I see you've decided to make life very difficult for me" he responded coldly.

Rebekah chuckled on the line, her laughter filling him with rage. "Oh Nik, relax. It's all just fun and games isn't it?" The sound of her brother growling on the other end tasted almost as good as fresh blood, _almost._

"You went too far this time Rebekah"

The smile on her face faltered momentarily, she knew she had gone too far this time. But she had understood the magnitude of what she was undertaking when she had made the decision to do it. In his eyes it was the cruelest of betrayal, a knife in his back. Knowing this made her feel good; it filled her with glee to know she had caused him discomfort.

"No Nik, you went too far when you looked me in the eye and put a dagger in my heart after you used me to get information. You went too far and now I'm returning the favor, after all, I learnt from the best"

If it was anyone else, Klaus would have been impressed. He would have admired the tenacity of his sister and her appetite for revenge. But this wasn't anyone else.

"And if they find her?" he asked quietly. Rebekah hesitated briefly. "You already know the answer to that question" she responded.

He did indeed. If Caroline and her band of idiots that she referred to as friends did indeed find _her_ then it was game over. _She_ would offer herself up on a silver platter and agree to do whatever she could do in order to ensure the survival of her lineage. Witches and their morality, after a thousand years he still did not understand their infuriating nature. How they gave up their lives time and time again, to save their own. For the greater good, a concept Klaus never understood. What greater good were they referring to? What if there was no silver lining? No moral to the story? What if all there was, was darkness

Finding themselves at an impasse Klaus ended the call quickly without another word.

He hadn't allowed himself to think of her in a long time. Remembering her meant remembering all the things he once was, it meant remembering who _he _once was. It also meant remembering broken promises and broken smiles. The only promise he had ever kept to her was the promise he made long ago when he swore he would never see her again. A promise he intended on keeping for as long as he existed. It was now a promise that was on the verge of breaking, and for once he was not in control. Not in control of its outcome.

Many times over the centuries his mind often found itself going back in time, retracing steps, remembering a face he longed to purge from his memory. But he could not forget, could not forget the curve of her smile, the sound of her voice that he had attributed as angelic. She was goodness he had long ago concluded. While humanity continued to rape and pillage showcasing time and time again the darkness of man's heart, she stood out amongst the carnage, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Finding seeds amongst the ashes, she found goodness in places you least expected, she had found it within him.

Closing his eyes he fought the memories that threatened to take control of him.

"_You were always fighting against the world, against yourself for so long. I wanted to be the only thing real to you" _

Slamming his fist against the table breaking it easily in two, he shook with the effort to keep the monster at bay. He would stop thinking about it. He would stop remembering. He needed to stop remembering. He needed a drink.

The monster within snickered, mocking him. _Needs make you weak _It whispered.


	4. Lord of the lies

**Chapter 4: Lord of the lies**

"_I traded in a pack of lies for a pack of truth, and I didn't know which one was heavier. Which one took the most strength to carry around? It was a ridiculous question, though, because once you know the truth, you can't ever go back and pick up your suitcase of lies. Heavier or not, the truth is yours now."_

She was lying.

As a young girl Caroline had quickly become accustomed to differentiating between lies. There were lies she considered as white lies and the other sort of lies, the ones that felt like a noose around your neck. Her human life as a teenager revolved around white lies, lies such as _that dress doesn't make you look fat, _and of course _it's not you it's me. _White lies were harmless, they kept her mother warm and cocooned in her world of ignorant bliss, they kept her teachers satisfied and her friends happy. No, white lies never hurt anyone.

It was the other lies, the ones that kept you up at night, the ones that clawed at your insides making you sick with anxiety, the ones that acted as a noose around your neck. The end of human life also meant the end of her white lies. She now carried the burden of the _other _lies. The ones that meant choosing between life and death on a regular basis, these lies meant honesty now came with a death sentence.

Caroline was lying.

When asked where she was going today she hadn't disclosed her location nor did she specify who she was going to meet. The lie was necessary; it was one white lie that would contribute to her biggest lie yet. She was lying to Bonnie.

In the past, Caroline had never felt the need to lie to Bonnie, Bonnie who never held anything against her, Bonnie who welcomed her friend with all her imperfections, welcomed her and loved her despite of them. The fact she was lying to Bonnie did not sit well with the young vampire, but it was a necessary white lie. Caroline would lie, she would lie for the rest of her life if it meant saving Bonnies life.

Caroline tapped her foot impatiently checking the time for the umpteenth time, he was late. She leaned against the hood of her taking in her surroundings. The woods surrounding Mystic Falls had seen a lot of strange things in its time, Caroline often wondered if the trees could speak what tales they would tell. The woods where Caroline, Bonnie and Elena spent their time playing as children were an important part of the town's history. Caroline wished they had agreed to meet somewhere else, suddenly she did not feel like tainting her childhood memories.

"Alright Blondie, I'm here. What's the big emergency and why the need for all the secrecy?"

Caroline grimaced in annoyance; she was beginning to question her sanity as to why she had chosen him of all people to have this conversation with.

Damon Salvatore.

She knew it was a big risk confiding in the oldest Salvatore brother, had it been was up to her she would have preferred the younger of the two brothers, the sweet brother, the _good _brother. However Caroline had witnessed a change in Stefan Salvatore ever since Elena had become a vampire, she had witnessed him slowly spiraling out of control, hanging on by a thread. No, this was too important, too precious. While Damon wasn't the better choice, he was the only choice and something told Caroline Damon wouldn't turn her away.

Caroline had made the decision to hate him. It was a simple choice to make, as a human he had used her, for sex, information, for anything. He moved her across the chessboard like a pawn, a pawn that he was willing to sacrifice. She hated him, and Damon being Damon did not disappoint, giving her reason after reason to continue hating him.

But things were different now, she wasn't human anymore, and few choices in her life were simple.

"I need your help" she replied simply.

Damon watched her warily, he hadn't known what to think when he received Caroline's vague message about meeting him in the woods but he was beginning to get the feeling that vampire Barbie was in way over her head.

"I'm assuming this help you need is a little on the naughty side hence why you asked me here instead of my brother?" Damon grinned at the look on Caroline's face; she was uncomfortable asking him for help, she was uncomfortable asking him for anything, this he knew. Damon smiled with delight. Things were about to get fun.

"Bonnie can't do it, I won't let her, and I need you to help me stop her"

Damon stopped smiling

Things had gotten a lot less fun.

"Have you recently taken a blow to the head? Do you understand what you're saying? If Bonnie doesn't do the spell Elena stays a Vampire forever. It's her only chance at being alive."

Caroline glared at Damon. It was easy to remember why she hated him on days like this.

"If Bonnie does the spell she has zero chance at being alive!"

Damon clenched his teeth, his hands itching to rip the neurotic vampires tongue out.

"I'll take those odds" he replied coldly.

Damon didn't understand why he was here. Had Caroline so foolishly thought he would risk Elena's life to save the witch's? She was mistaken.

Damon Salvatore was a selfish man, yes. It was something he had accepted many years ago. Sometime between spending 145 years waiting for the woman he loved and hating his brother Damon had come to the conclusion that it was okay to be selfish. The world was full of selfish people. Damon was a selfish man, he didn't find the need to stand in cues for something he wanted, he took it without asking because that's who he was. Until it came to her, Elena Gilbert. Sometime between spending 145 years waiting for the woman he _thought _he loved and hating his brother Elena Gilbert had happened.

Sometimes he thought she was a cancer.

The sort of cancer that crept up on you without you knowing, the sort of cancer that tests ordered by your doctor never picked up. Never picked up until the cancer had spread into your limbs, your organs, into your blood, by then it was usually too late. By then the disease owned you.

Sometimes he thought she was a cancer.

Elena Gilbert had crept up on him without knowing, he hadn't picked up on it until it was too late. She had seeped into his blood stream, her smiles, her hugs, her innocence; she had made her way into his undead flesh and set fire to him, bringing him alive. Yes, Elena Gilbert was a cancer. But he had long accepted his condition; he had no need for treatment. He had no desire to cut the cancer out of his flesh. Cancer or not, he had accepted his fate.

"Did I stutter? I said she's going to die if we don't do something about it"

Damon rolled his eyes at her flair for the dramatics, Caroline still didn't get it. He knew Bonnie would die. He had been the first to find out when creepy Professor Shane had pulled him aside to let him know about the consequences of the magic she was undertaking. He knew.

He just didn't care.

"I heard you the first time. But like I said, if she doesn't do the spell, Elena stays a vampire. Something no one is okay with so, sorry Blondie, you're asking the wrong guy for help" glaring at her angrily for wasting his time, Damon pushed past her, realizing he was about to leave without hearing her out, Caroline grabbed him by the arm pushing him back. Damon clenched his fists in an attempt to stop himself from strangling the blonde. Damon considered himself to be quite tolerant and prided himself on keeping a cool head in tense situations.

Who was he kidding; she had 5 seconds before he tore her throat out.

"There's another Bennett witch, an old Bennett witch. All we have to do is find her and convince her to help us. Bonnie doesn't have to die, there is another way" Caroline said quickly. Damon was famous for his impatient temper; she had seconds before she lost him. She had to act fast.

"That's impossible; there is no other Bennett witch. The bloodline ends with Bonnie, trust me. I would know. You're reaching Caroline, and take it from me, desperation isn't attractive"

Caroline growled angrily "The bloodline may end with Bonnie but it didn't start with her, I said there was another witch, and old Bennett witch"

Damon was impressed; Caroline really was pulling out all the stops. He almost believed her.

Almost.

"So where is this so called witch? If she even exists in the first place? Why is this the first time we are hearing about her?"

He had a point. Caroline had been thinking the exact same thing, how had a Bennett witch, an old Bennett witch at that, manage to stay under the radar without drawing attention of the supernatural world. Unless, unless someone was protecting her.

Klaus.

"Why do you think? Klaus of course" she replied simply.

Of course, Damon thought. Klaus was involved, anything and everything that was out of the ordinary had Klaus written all over it.

Somehow Damon knew he would regret this.

"Alright Blondie, you've got 10 minutes. Start talking".

Someone hated him upstairs.

Damon was sure of it; there was no other explanation for it. They were in the home stretch, the sword had been unearthed, Klaus was keeping his end of the bargain, Bonnie was juiced up and ready to go. The cure was simply one spell away.

Someone _really _hated him upstairs.

Of course it wouldn't be that easy, nothing in Mystic Falls ever was. The sudden emergence of a mysterious Bennett witch, a witch Klaus knew about but failed to mention meant two things for Damon Salvatore, the first putting Damon in an immediate bad mood as it was unlikely any of the Scooby gang would be willing to let Bonnie perform the spell if news broke out regarding her long lost relative.

The second bought a smile to his face.

Leverage.

However one question remained on his mind.

"Why did you come to me instead of Stefan? Isn't this something that would appeal to one with a martyr complex?" he asked despite himself.

He was right Caroline thought, this was something she would rather have trusted with the younger Salvatore.

"Because he turned Jeremy into Van Heisling just for the sake of the cure, and I don't trust him not to sacrifice Bonnie the first chance he got if it meant Elena could be human again"

Her answer didn't sit well with Damon.

"And you think for a second I won't?"

Finally a question Caroline had been expecting.

"No, I know you would hand over Bonnie in a heartbeat to make Elena human again. But I also know you're looking for anything you can to use against Klaus, This could be what you've been looking for, a weakness. Do it for Elena Damon, think about how she would feel if she found out there was a chance Bonnie could have been saved and not only did you know about it but you did nothing about it"

Caroline paused; taking a deep breath. She didn't want to beg and she didn't want to cry in front of him, not him.

"You owe her Damon. We all do. She could have let you die time and time again, and frankly you would have deserved it. But she didn't. You almost killed her, Her grandmother died to save you; you turned her mother into a vampire and yet despite it all she's still here, fighting to save us, fighting to save you. The least we can do is try, the least we can do is look."

Despite her efforts she felt the tears begin to fall.

"She's better than this Damon, she's better then all of us"

Damon wanted to say no, he wanted to say she was wrong. That they didn't need to look for another Witch, that they had one here, a witch that was willing to die. But the words died in his throat as he thought of _her. _Her warm smile, her beautiful face that had become a permanent fixture in his world, it was she who kept him grounded. Her warm eyes that stared at him in wonder and amazement, and with time, they began to look at him with complete trust. One word from her and Damon was sure he would offer himself in place of Bonnie only if it meant she would continue to look at him like that.

For _her._

"I'm in".

Caroline was lying.

Caroline _had _to lie. She had to perfect the art of lying. Whenever Bonnie looked at her and asked her if she was okay, she _had _to lie. Whenever Elena asked her where she was Caroline _had _to lie. She couldn't risk anyone finding out about this, It was too important. She would carry her suitcase of lies with her if it meant it would save Bonnies life. If it meant saving the life of someone she loved.

After all, love made liars out of us all.


	5. Secrets breed paranoia

**Chapter 5: Secrets breed paranoia **

"_I thought about how there are two types of secrets: the kind you__want __to keep in, and the kind you don't__dare__to let out."_

Caroline was becoming paranoid.

As a human she had often been referred to as slightly neurotic therefore the teen had experienced paranoia, paranoia over people looking at her, laughing at her, and paranoia over people knowing something she didn't. She was a young teenage girl, who had an aptitude for dramatics, becoming a vampire had heightened aspects of her personality. As a human Caroline had never been good at keeping secrets, as a vampire she sucked at it. However, things were different this time. For the first time it was she that knew something no one else did and she was crumbling under the pressure to maintain her _secret. _

Caroline _was _paranoid and she had every reason to be. She had a secret no one else knew, except for of course, Damon Salvatore. The problem being that she was plotting in secret, sharing the burden of a mission, a mission no one else knew about with Damon Salvatore of all people.  
Caroline was paranoid, but she had long since concluded that anybody that chose Damon Salvatore as their confidante would have every reason to be paranoid.

Damon's friends had a habit of turning up dead.

"Well we're at a dead end, there seems to be hundreds of Arianna Bennett's yet we have no idea who we are looking for as we have no idea what she looks like"

Caroline glared at the vampire in question; they had set up shop at the Salvatore mansion while Elena and Stefan were at school and begun going through public records of every Bennett in the country which turned out to be hundreds. Damon had compelled a deputy at the sheriff's office to help them narrow down the search, however that still left them with hundreds of potential candidates and no way of knowing who she was and where she lived. She knew it was going to be difficult, she knew it was going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack. But they had to start somewhere and it had been _three _days and they were still no closer to finding her.

"I heard you the first time Damon, but she has to be one of them, we're just going to have to narrow down our choices", she was getting sick of hearing him complain. The first day he had complained that the deputy was taking too long, and then he complained there had been too _many _results and too much _reading. _She was starting to think asking Damon for help was a big mistake.

"Well Blondie if you had given me more to work with other then a name, a very common name that could belong to anyone then maybe it wouldn't be taking us three days to get through this lot"

Damon wanted to eat someone.

They had been going through paper work for three days, he now knew more then he would have liked on the intricate details of Arianna Bennett's over the country, details he didn't care to know. Something told him Arianna Bennett the original Bennett witch wasn't a 32 year old school teacher living in Maine.

Caroline resisted the urge to hit her head against the wall. "I told you, that's all Rebekah told me and I don't think she's going to be in the mood to give out anymore information without a price"

Damon rolled his eyes, he missed the good old days where getting information out of people required a little old fashion torture, nowadays it was frowned upon to get your hands a little dirty if it meant getting what you want.

People were so sensitive.

"Well lucky for you I have a plan B. Strut yourself in front of Klaus and get the information out of him, or are you afraid of what your boyfriends going to think of you playing house with original psycho?"

Caroline froze.

Tyler.

She hadn't allowed herself to think about Tyler, shutting down every thought that led to the young hybrid, she had purged him from her thoughts by using a big bottle of Mr. Clean and a chant of 'be gone bad thoughts', it had become her mantra. Thinking about Tyler meant thinking of what he had done and she couldn't let herself become distracted. Instead, she had thrown herself into operation 'Save-Bonnies-life-damn-the-consequences' without a thought for the man who had wormed his way into his heart and then crushed it with his bare hands.

He betrayed her.

She hadn't heard a word from him since the day she had thrown him out of her house after learning what he had done, after learning what _they _had done. He had betrayed her in the worst way possible and Caroline hated him for it. Hated that he had made her love him, made her depend on him, trust him, made her envision a future with him. He had destroyed that future in one night of betrayal; in one thoughtless act he had broken both their hearts.

And now, now she was forced to envision a future without him.

The concept of eternity did not seem as bleak, as lonely when she had believed so naively that she would be sharing it with the man she loved. She believed she could have loved him forever, and she would have. She would have been his companion for the rest of time, had he allowed her to be, had he not tainted their love with a betrayal so deep she was surprised she was still standing.

Caroline was a romantic.

She had believed so foolishly once, that love could conquer all, that epic love stories such as theirs could withstand the onslaught of anything that fate decided to throw at them. Love, it gave you strength, gave you the power to overcome all barriers. But Caroline had seen the naivety of her thoughts, had seen the truth behind the veil. While love gave you strength, it also left you weak. It gave you wounds so deep, that even with all the time left in the world, would not heal them, wounds that left you vulnerable and raw.

Caroline had seen the victims of love, the casualties left behind. She had seen it in the eyes of Damon when he had learned that Katherine, the woman he had waited 145 years for loved his brother, had always loved his brother. She had seen the devastation left behind by love in the eyes of Stefan when he had learned that Elena, the girl who he loved above everything else not only loved him but loved his brother too. Elena Gilbert, the girl with the warm smiles and carefree laughter had fallen in love with his brother without her realizing it. She could not choose between both brothers because choosing meant admitting she loved one more than the other; choosing also meant she would lose one or the other. Caroline had seen the breakdown of Stefan's sanity as he slowly realized history was repeating itself, that the bond of brotherhood would not withstand the force of Elena's love.

Love had left behind many casualties.

"Klaus isn't going to tell us anything, he's protecting her whereabouts so we aren't going to get anything out of him"

Klaus's staunch resilience, his inability to answer a single question regarding her existence without clenching his fists, the agitation and frustration, it was the same sight she saw every time she looked in the mirror, the same look in his eyes that she saw mirrored in her own when they spoke of Bonnie's life hanging in the balance. He was protecting her, and Caroline knew for a fact that he would rather tear out his own tongue then to speak a word regarding her whereabouts.

Damon sighed loudly flopping onto the couch, his drink sloshing around in his glass threatening to spill with the sharpness of his movements.

"Well then, we're at a dead end. This two man double team we have going on isn't exactly working out"'

Caroline let out a frustrated groan.

"What isn't working out?"

Damon and Caroline froze at the sound of her voice, in the midst of their frustration that hadn't noticed the arrival Elena who now stood in the door both wearing a look of confusion and suspicion.

Caroline stumbled around picking pieces of strayed paperwork, shoving things back into her bag she laughed nervously, struggling to come up with a lie, she looked at Damon for help who shrugged in return.

Caroline growled beneath her breath.

"Oh I just came over to discuss Bonnie's birthday with you, _Damon _suggested we throw her a surprise party, here tomorrow night." She said brightly

Damon bit back a groan. She was good.

"Yeah, what she said" he added slowly.

Elena looked at Caroline in confusion, before fixing Damon with her gaze. Damon felt himself weakening under Elena's stare. She was doing it again, looking at him, staring at him, attempting to figure out all the pieces that made him _Damon. _She was good at that, good at making him feel like a broken toy, a broken toy that only she knew how to put together.

Sometimes he resented her for it.

Resented her for looking at him like that, all earnest and innocent, silently begging him, _be the better man Damon _he could hear her whisper.

"You suggested that Damon? That we should throw Bonnie a party?" asked Elena incredulously

Once verbalized Damon knew how crazy it sounded. He didn't throw parties; he attended parties, yes, only because it was like attending an all-you-can-eat buffet. He didn't throw parties, and she sure as hell didn't throw parties for Madame Judgy of all people.

She knew they were lying.

Elena prided herself on being an excellent judge of character, but mostly she prided herself on being a walking encyclopedia on all things _Damon. _The way his eyes had widened at Caroline's admission, the way he shifted uneasily beneath her gaze. He was lying. It didn't bother Elena that he was up to something, he was Damon, and he was always up to something. What bothered Elena wasn't the fact he was lying,

But that he was lying to her.

Elena knew they were up to something, something that they were keeping from her. Caroline was refusing to make eye contact with her which usually meant Caroline was hiding something, something that for whatever reason, she didn't want Elena to know about.

Elena was working on trusting her friends. Working on trusting them to do the right thing and not getting involved, she knew that she could very easily confront them and demand to know what they were doing, what they were talking about and whether or not it was dangerous. She knew if she asked it of Damon, that he would tell her everything, that despite everything going on, she trusted him to tell her the truth.

But he was lying to her.

Elena knew that he wouldn't lie to her for without a reason. Elena trusted him fiercely with her life; she also trusted that he would come to her and tell her the truth when he was ready. They both would.

"Yeah I figured some wine and beer would be the perfect way of burying the hatchet between me and Debbie Downer"

Elena raised her eyebrow in question, "Well I think it's a great idea, I think a party is exactly what Bonnie deserves and I think I'm speaking for all of us when I say that a party is just what we need"

Caroline smiled widely clapping her hands together happily.

"Great it's a plan, Damon has agreed to organize the refreshments since this was basically his idea" she replied smugly, she threw Damon a smile.

Damon had the sudden urge to wipe the smile from her face.

"Great, don't forget to add Tyler to the guest list, wouldn't want to leave anyone out"

Checkmate.

Damon smiled at Caroline's discomfort, squirming under his gaze Caroline returned his smile with a glare. Elena sensing the tension turned her disapproving stare on Damon full force.

"Damon" she reprimand

Damon held up his hands in defeat.

She left him defeated.

Damon sometimes wondered if the myth of the doppelgangers allure wasn't just a myth. How else could you explain the power of Elena's stare, one look from her left him disarmed and unable to turn away. Sometimes he wondered if she was aware of the power she had over him, and if she did, he wondered if she ever used it to her advantage.

Caroline sighed turning her back to the silent exchange between the two. Part of her couldn't stand to watch the train crash occurring in front of her, the sort of crash you were horrified to witness, yet couldn't make yourself look away. Yet, as she glanced at them from the corner of her eye she was amazed at their ability to withdraw into themselves, withdraw so deep that they no longer recognized who was standing next to them. She envied the fact they were able to communicate silently, both of them knowing what the other needed, yet another casualty of love.

Part of her missed him.

The mention of Tyler left her breathless; stinging with the reminder of him she felt the salt within her wounds. Part of her missed him; missed having someone to share her thoughts with, someone to share her burdens. The other part was thankful for the reminder, thankful for the reminder of him. While her wounds still bled with the memories of him and still stung with his betrayal, she was thankful for the pain. The pain grounded her, reminded her that she was still here, she was still standing.

Caroline was _paranoid. _She was crumbling under the pressure of keeping this secret, of carrying this burden. But she knew, she knew she would carry it for miles if it meant saving _her. _

From a young age Caroline had learned that almost everyone had something to hide, everyone had secrets. Some secrets small and insignificant, others big and disastrous, some secrets meant losing out on an invite to great party, others meant laying waste to people's lives. But one thing Caroline had learnt was that no matter how big or small, lies and secrets were cancer in the soul, they only left destruction behind.

Caroline knew that her secret would wave a path of destruction through her life.

After all, there were two types of secrets, the type you want to keep in, and the type you don't dare let out.


	6. I believe in my mask

**Chapter 6: I believe in my mask **

"_We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves"_

He wore the mask of the king of the jungle.

Living in Mystic Falls meant living in the wild, it meant living in the jungle where animals roamed freely, and he was their king. He did not answer to the slaves of men, men who were so easily led astray by fickle dreams of power and love; he did not answer to the whim of women, women who were ruled by their passion and impulses. He did not answer to slaves of men, they answered to their king. He was their king.

Klaus understood the necessity of wearing a mask, of wearing many faces. Wearing different masks meant having many disguises, living many lives. For hundreds of years Klaus had worn the mask of the concerned brother carting around his family in boxes waiting for the day he could be reunited with them. He had also worn the mask of the monster they all feared, the monster they had united against to stop, the monster that tore flesh off bones, ripped hearts from chests, and the monster who had given them someone to hate and despise.

Years ago he had also worn the mask of a man in love, in love with a girl who had filled his life with purpose. A girl so beautiful, so _good _he was afraid to put his hands on her, afraid to taint her with his touch. A girl so _real _he had been afraid to close his eyes at night in fear of losing sight of her. Yes, Klaus had worn the mask of a man in love, a mask he had long forgotten now taunted him with memories he longed to forget.

_Flash back _

_He followed the sound of water as he made his way through the forest, stopping from time to time to listen for the following of footsteps, only continuing after ensuring he was not being followed. The air was hot and humid and he felt the soft cotton of shirt stick to his chest in perspiration. He despised the heat, feeling suffocated by the thickness of hot air that filled the sky on warm summer nights, warm summer nights such as tonight. Grunting with the effort of walking through stray twigs that tugged on him in his movement he pushed through the forest following the sound of water._

_His father terrified him._

_Mikael was known by many to be a proud man with a quick temper that left many of the villagers in the area frightened and hesitant to approach him. To his neighbors he was a wealthy land owner that zero tolerance for disorder, a man that was fiercely protective of his family. To Klaus and his siblings, Mikael was cruel and petrifying. Since Klaus could remember his father had ruled his family with an iron fist, stamping out disobedience and weakness. _

_His father terrified him._

_Nearing the edge of the water Klaus choosing a clean patch of grass to seat himself. Looking up at the sky he found himself wondering what was so fascinating about the night sky that had people like him continuously gazing up at it night after night. Klaus sighed as he waited patiently until the sounds of footsteps could be heard making their way over to him slowly and timidly._

_He had felt her presence before he had heard her. _

_It was always the case with her; she carried with herself an aura of something that was other worldly. Something he could never quite place, almost as if she didn't belong in this world. This world, with all its imperfections, its mistakes, its darkness, this world that held so much pain and destruction had no place for someone like her. She lit up worlds, provided light in darkness, she was truth and honesty. She was his._

_He smiled to himself as he felt her sit beside him, drawing her knees close to her chin she rested her head on her hands turning to gaze at him._

_Klaus was convinced his eyes were greedy._

_Every time he looked at her he hungered to remember every crevice of her face, every blemish, every perfect line, crease, every freckle, he hungered to memorize her face as if he would never see it again. He examined her carefully; her brown locks of hair fell pass her shoulders smelling of honey and spice. Her ebony skin that he had explored on many nights such as these was soft to the touch. Yet it was her eyes he failed to memorize as every time he gazed into them he forgot his own name, her beautiful eyes which were brown as the earth stared at him so openly, leaving him naked and shivering, bare for only her to see. She had the gift of looking at him as if she knew his every secret, his every thought, his every shame, she looked pass the mask of the frightened boy and saw him. Niklaus, and she loved him for it. _

"_You're late" he whispered, his voice carrying into the night._

_Picking up on the playful note in his tone she smiled at him and for a moment he was stunned, blinded by the light of her smile. _

"_I was with my mother, some of the villagers were ill. We were mixing herbs" she turned up her palms to show him the slight remains of a burn._

_Grabbing her hands he stared down at the offending mark which glared back at him, it would possibly blister and burst leaving behind a scar in its wake. He touched it slightly with his finger pulling back when he felt her flinch in response. Blowing on it slowly he bought her palm close to his face, kissing the inside of wrist he gazed at her smiling slightly as her eyes sparkled with mirth. _

"_It does not hurt much, mother says it's good to feel pain, it reminds us that we are all part of the earth, that we are all alive" _

_Klaus swallowed his response turning his head from her abruptly. He despised the lessons that Ayanna taught her daughter. Clenching his fists slightly he dug his fingernails into his palms drawing blood, If Ayanna wanted her to learn the lesson of pain, it would be a lesson she would not learn alone. _

_As if sensing his thoughts she grabbed his hands quickly pulling them close to her chest she held them captive within her arms, shielding them from him she gave him a small smile drawing circles on his hands with her finger tips._

"_Don't Niklaus, I don't like to see you in pain. Especially the sort of pain you inflict on yourself" _

_Klaus grinned tugging his hands out of her arms he pulled her close, smelling the earthy scent that made her who she was. He wished he could bottle up her smell to carry with him at all times. She had the habit of making him feel comforted and safe with a small glance or the whisper of a touch. She held him close; burying her face into his chest he felt her breathing in his own scent. He wondering if he had the same effect on her that she did on him. Was she aware that without her he was lost? Wandering in the middle of a forest trying to his way but all the trees look the same and each path just leads back to the beginning. Never finding his way out of the forest, without her he was truly lost. He felt his spirit reaching out to her, imploring to her, 'save me, save me for truly I cannot save myself'. _

The sound of footsteps bought him out of his reverie.

"By the looks of it Damon and Stefan Salvatore are celebrating something tonight"

Turning to look at who had interrupted his thoughts, the culprit being Tom, one of his many Hybrids that Klaus had asked to stay around town, Klaus smiled slightly in response.

"Looks like we're going to a Party" he replied.

He had worked hard for centuries to bury those memories. To bury them so deep no one would ever find them, no one would ever touch them. He was no longer enslaved to old worlds that had already passed away. He was born again. He had risen higher, he had grown. He was different, better. With his new birth came the call for transformation, renewal and return.

He clenched his fists, digging his nails into the palms of his hands, retracing the ghosts of old wounds long forgotten.

Bonnie Bennett was 9 years old when she had made the decision that she hated birthdays.

As a nine year old girl she had come to this bitter conclusion the day her mother had yet again failed to attend her ninth birthday, the same day she looked at the look of disappointment on her father's face when he had to break the news yet again that her mother had missed her flight and was not going to make it. It was that day that bonnie had sat in front of her banana chocolate cake with her two best friends at her side that she had made the decision that she was no longer going to celebrate her birthday.

That didn't necessarily stop her friends from trying to celebrate it for her.

Ever since she was a little girl in middle school Caroline Forbes had made sure that every single birthday of Bonnies was not only acknowledged by all, but also celebrated in the typical Caroline Forbes way, with a party.

Caroline Forbes and Elena Gilbert had been her friends since she could remember, they had become fast friends in grade school when they had played in the same sand pit and Caroline had gotten gum stuck in Elena's hair. Since then, the three were inseparable. Bonnie could not remember a single child hood memory that did not include her two friends or one or the other. As the year's passed and elementary school became middle school, nothing changed. The foundation of their friendship would not change. With high school came the introduction of boys, boys and more boys and Bonnie feared their friendship would not be able to withstand the force of teenage hormones and teenage drama. But she was wrong to despair, she was wrong to not trust in their friendship, that Caroline and Elena weren't just her friends, they were her family.

Bonnie knew her father worked more than any other parent she knew, she knew part of it was to escape the memories of her mother, the memories she saw reflected in her face every time he looked at her. She had long since accepted that she did not have the conventional family of a father and a mother. Bonnie had no mother. She barely had a father. Instead she had her Grams; her Grams who had helped raise her into the strong woman she was today. Her Grams who had been her role model, who had taught her everything she knew. Her Grams, who even in death could not stand by idly and allow her granddaughter to make the wrong choice, who was guiding her and watching over her every day.

The thought of her Grams being her guardian angel comforted her.

Bonnie did not spend much time agonizing over the fact she didn't have much of a family, Bonnie had Caroline and Elena and that was enough for her. When asked which friend she considered her best friend Bonnie cringed, while she loved Elena with all her heart, while she would die for Elena a thousand times if she asked it of her, Bonnie could not help but feel a pull for Caroline, she could not help but feel that Caroline was more than her just the typical best friend, Caroline was her kindred spirit. Caroline who was so warm in her honesty, so protective in her love, Caroline who Bonnie had labeled as her personal sun, it was Caroline who Bonnie as an extension of herself.

Every year on her birthday like clockwork Caroline showed up on Bonnie's doorstep at exactly 11.55pm with a cupcake, candle and a smile that would have sunk the titanic. Caroline would stand outside for five minutes waiting until midnight before ringing the doorbell, Bonnie waiting patiently on the other side, allowing her neurotic friend to follow through with her strange tradition. Every year she would give her a hug, squeezing her small friend in her arms singing her happy birthday at the top of her lungs, waking her neighbors who had long accustomed themselves to Caroline's craziness and spinning Bonnie around until she was dizzy. Bonnie would then pull Caroline inside, eat her birthday cupcake and watch old child hood videos on the couch with the one person who had never disappointed her, never once let her down, the one person Bonnie swore was part of her soul.

However Bonnie couldn't help it, she _hated _birthdays.

But what she hated more disappointment on the face of Caroline, so each year she accepted the well wishes of her friends, the smiles and the hugs, the presents and the cakes, and quietly resolved herself to the fact she was the Grinch of all birthdays.

It wasn't just the fact her mother had left her on her third birthday nor was it the fact she despised the attention, She just couldn't shake the ill feeling she received in the pit of her stomach on the eve of each of her birthdays, the anxious feeling that caused her to fidget nervously and bite at her nails. The feeling at the pit of her stomach which she had dismissed so without a care at a young girl as being nothing but nerves, was something she could not ignore as a young witch.

It was a warning.

Knocking on the door of the Salvatore mansion Bonnie mentally prepared herself, she took a deep breath. Pushing aside the feeling of ice in her veins that she had woken up to on the morning of her Birthday, Bonnie suppressed a shudder and put on her mask, the mask of the Grinch of all birthdays was a disguise she knew all too well, a mask she had begun to believe was her own.

She couldn't shake the feeling

It _was _a warning.

A storm was on its way and Mystic falls was in the eye of it.

"SURPRISE!"


	7. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth

**Chapter 7: Don't look a gift horse in the mouth **

"_Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift" _

Gifts made her uncomfortable.

Staring at the small mountain of presents accumulated on the dining table of the Salvatore mansion was causing her to make a mild panic attack, she noted the different handwriting on each of the cards attached and realized she would have to thank a lot of people. It wasn't that she didn't think she deserved a gift, nor was it the fact she didn't appreciate or like pretty things. She was an 18 year old girl, she like any other 18 year old girl loved the feeling of owning something new. On the contrary, the act of giving gifts filled Bonnie with warmth.

No, it was receiving gifts that made her uncomfortable.

Ever since Bonnie could remember Bonnie was the type of girl that had been content with what she had. Grateful for the life that had been given to her, she had never wanted for anything. Bonnie felt at peace knowing that everything she had, she had earned on her own. Fiercely independent Bonnie didn't rely on her father for much, didn't rely on him to look after her. Bonnie had learned from a young age how to look after herself. Learning to cook when she was seven, Bonnie had cooked herself breakfast when her father had rushed out for business meetings, she had cooked herself lunch when her father was held up with a conference call and she had cooked herself dinner when her father called to let her know he wouldn't make it.

Bonnie had learned to look after herself.

But that didn't stop her friends of trying to look after her. Caroline, who was well aware of Bonnie's aversion for gifts did not let it stop from showering her with trinkets on her every birthday, Bonnie had to commend her friend for not only her determination in ignoring her pleas of no presents, the same plea she made every year. Caroline also had the ability almost always choose a gift that she knew that Bonnie would not only like, but a gift that _meant _something special to her.

Bonnie remembered one birthday in particular, the one birthday where Caroline hadn't bought Bonnie a gift, she had done much more than that. On her twelfth birthday after Bonnie had received notice from her father that he wouldn't be able to make their birthday dinner date, Caroline had shown up arms full of supplies, hot chocolate, potato chips and enough junk food to make her feel sick the next morning. Caroline had dragged her out of bed in her pajamas and led her into the woods. Bonnie had jumped out of her skin in surprise when Caroline had procured a small knife from her bag, smiling at Bonnies reaction she used the tip of the knife she draw a small cut on her palm, a cut deep enough to draw blood. Bonnie remembered staring at her friend in disbelief, she hadn't understood what Caroline was up to until she had turned the force of her smile on her, the light produced by the moon illuminated her features giving her the aura of an angel.

"I know you're upset about your dad missing your birthday dinner, and I know he's never around. But I'm here and I'll never let you down. I'm your family Bonnie. We're blood sisters"

She remembered the tears that had been unleashed at her friends words, the sting of the knife as she made an identical cut in her palm, but most of all, most of all Bonnie remembered staring down at their clasped palms and the feeling that had spread through her veins. Caroline was her family, they were sisters.

"There's the birthday girl"

Bonnie chose to think of something pleasant, she envisioned the warm sun and sandy beaches; she envisioned sinking her toes into the sand and breathing in the scent of the ocean.

She chose to think about anything other than the demented hybrid that stood before her.

Crossing her arms in defense, she fixed him with a glare.

"What are you doing here?" she asked

She knew there was a reason why she hated birthdays; after all, Klaus didn't exactly encourage any celebratory feelings.

Klaus grinned in response, relishing in her discomfort. Shrugging his shoulders in nonchalance he circled her slowly like a shark circling its prey.

"Can't a guy wish a girl happy birthday without getting the third degree?" he asked innocently raising a hand in mock offense.

Bonnie wished she could tear him to shreds.

Klaus, Klaus who had been responsible for the death of so many, people who she knew, people whom she had cared about, Klaus who had created fear and destruction in her town, her home town which she had sworn to protect. Klaus who was a walking talking sociopath.

Klaus, who she had noticed, had taken a liking to Caroline.

"Not if that guy is you, so let's cut the small talk and skip straight to the part where you tell me what you're really doing here"?

Bennett witches were something else.

Watching little Bonnie Bennett stare him down with ferocity Klaus was reminded of the lineage from which she had descended. Bennett witches were warriors, soldiers; they never backed down from a fight. Klaus had never met a Bennett witch that had not stared at him with intensity, stared at him with power, a power so strong that he wished he could covet, wished he could steal and make his own.

Bonnie Bennett did not disappoint.

"You wound me love, would you believe me if I said that I actually came by to drop off a birthday present?"

Bonnie raised her brow in question, silently challenging him.

She didn't believe him.

"No I wouldn't" she retorted.

Klaus smiled reaching around her to pour himself a glass of punch, he glanced at her, watching her carefully as she waited for his response, shifting her weight from one side to the other. He had made her uncomfortable.

Bingo.

"Well sorry to disappoint you love but that's exactly why I'm here" reaching into the pocket of his suit jacket he pulled out a long black box with a silver ribbon. Placing it on the table next to her he watched as her eyes widened in surprise.

She hadn't been expecting that.

Taking her silence as a cue to leave he moved to stand behind her, smirking slightly as her body stiffened in response, he pushed her hair to the side whispering in her ear before walking off.

"Happy Birthday Bonnie"

Bonnie stood still, afraid to move.

Klaus had just given her a birthday gift. Klaus, Klaus who had almost killed her, Klaus who _she _had risked her life to destroy, had given her a birthday gift.

Picking up the box she examined it in her hands. Curiosity filled the young witch; she only hoped it wasn't something that was once alive.

Curiosity killed the cat.

"What did Jack the ripper want?"

Bonnie rolled her eyes. Of course, it wasn't a fun filled night without the witty narration of one Damon Salvatore.

Former resident sociopath with homicidal tendencies, Bonnie of all people had every reason in the world to hate Damon Salvatore and for a long time she did. Hated him with a passion, hated him more than she hated anyone else. She couldn't breathe, couldn't sleep, couldn't function with the feeling he had incited within her bones, _revenge. _After the death of her Grams Bonnie had retreated, submerged herself in anger and grief. In her thirst for revenge she had plotted to kill Damon a thousand different ways, each plot more violent than the one that preceded it.

Destroying his day light ring, drowning him in vervain, shooting him with wooden bullets until she eventually shot him in the heart, sometimes she envisioned herself looking him in the eye and staking him in the chest.

But eventually the anger had retreated, she had learned to breathe again as sanity had returned to her.

He had a _brother. _

No matter what she told herself, no matter how many times she had convinced herself to do it. She couldn't make herself kill him. She couldn't deny Stefan the only family he had, couldn't allow Elena to lose another person in her life.

Family.

He had a family, and Bonnie, Bonnie who smiled so bravely in the face of danger, Bonnie who so desperately desired for a family of her own, couldn't be responsible for destroying one.

So she put on a brave face and let bye gones be bye-gones.

Until he had turned her mother into a vampire.

Bonnie had felt the rage return in full force, had felt the anger seeping into her bones once more. She felt the power of her family, her ancestors, of her lineage pooling in her palms, ready to strike, ready to take him down once and for all.

She had been ready to. She had told herself there was no turning back this time, no time for a conscience. He had taken away her _family _just when she had just gotten her mother back.

Bonnie was enraged, Bonnie was infuriated.

Until he had saved her life.

Bonnie had lain bleeding on the floor of where her ancestors had died a thousand years before, where they had been trialed and sentenced to burn to death. Bonnie had found it ironic that she would die in the same place her family had. Had she been able to move Bonnie would have smiled at the irony.

Bonnie was ready to die, she had accepted it. She had felt the life leaving her limbs, seeping into the earth, she had felt the energy around her, the air was thick with static and charged with her magic. She was ready to die.

But he had saved her life.

He had crawled over to her, tearing into his wrist, he had forced his blood down her throat.

That night had changed everything.

Her hatred for Damon was black and white. He had done a bad thing; therefore he was a bad person. His selfishness had led to the death of her Grandmother. His bad choices had led to her mother becoming a vampire; his destructive behavior had left a mountain of dead bodies, bodies of people who had families of their own. Yes, hating Damon was simple.

But he had saved her life and suddenly, nothing was simple.

It had taken Bonnie a while to fully comprehend her own role in her in the death of her Grandmother, while Damon's role been a contributing factor in her death, so had Bonnies.

She had begged her Grandmother to open the tomb, to save Stefan, to let him save his _family. _If Damon had her Grandmothers blood on his hands, so did she.

This realization had left Bonnie paralyzed for weeks on end.

The last thing Bonnie wanted to do was make excuses for the things he had done, and he had done some terrible things. After he had turned her mother Bonnie had stewed about it in despair, rage and grief, mourning her mother's humanity as if it were her own. She hated Damon for being so careless with her mother's life, hated him for thinking her _family _meant so little.  
But most of all, Bonnie hated herself for _understanding. _

_Despised _herself for understanding the choice he made. Yes she hated what he did; yes he had made a horrible decision, but she understood why he did it and she _hated _herself for it.

He had been forced to choose between the woman he loved, the woman he loved above everything else and her _best friend _and he had made the only decision he could have, he had made the decision he could live with.

She hated the fact her mother had been collateral damage, hated that her mother had paid the price, but she understood.

She understood, had she been in the same position she could not say that she would have done things differently.

Things had changed, the rage she felt for Damon had been watered down and diluted by her natural compassion, her warm nature that forced her to confront the reality.

She didn't hate him anymore.

Turning to look at him she continued to stare at the mysterious box in her hands

"He wanted me to have this" she lifted the box to show him what the Hybrid had given her.

Damon eyed the box with speculation before stealing it out of her hands and walking away.

"I'll have that, thank you."

Bonnie stared after his back incredulously.

She was starting to rethink her opinion of him.

"Where are you going? Give me that!" she yelled after him, the loud music of the party around her drowning out her cries, she stomped after him, dodging half drunken party goers while simultaneously glaring holes in his back.

Damon turned his head over his shoulder to give her a smirk.

"No can do Judgy, This is Klaus we're talking about. Not Santa Klaus."  
Bonnie felt the urge to give him an aneurism she followed him to the fire place before he turned to face her giving her number two of her top five most hated Damon smiles.

His condescending smile

"I'm aware it's Klaus Damon, _But_ it was given to me not you so I'll decide what to do with it thanks" she bit out angrily

She was irrititating.

Damon had long since concluded that Bonnie Bennett had been put on this earth to test him. To challenge his sanity, to challenge his every choice, his every decision, she had been put on this world to test him. For this reason alone Damon found her to be _irritating_.

Bonnie Bennett had an opinion on _everything._

Every time they had come up with a plan, there she was, countering his plan with another, a less _Damon _plan for a more _Bonnie _plan. Granted his plans were a little bloodier and hers a little on the Marry Poppins side, regardless. Bonnie Bennett had an opinion on everything.

He often wondered how she was able to carry herself so proudly, how she was able to _function _under the paralyzing weight of her morals. Didn't she find it suffocating?

Damon had first assumed that all witches carried with the same set of morals that was set in stone, thus making witches judgy little things. He had assumed it was a witch thing.

He was wrong, it was a Bonnie thing.

If he was honest, she was often dealt the poor end of the stick.

Her Grandmother did die doing a spell to save him and his brother.

He did _almost _kill her.

He did turn her mother into a Vampire.

Yes. Damon had concluded a long time ago that Bonnie Bennett had a long list of reasons to hate him, to despise him, to kill him.

Yet she didn't.

She had squandered every opportunity to kill him to date, choosing instead -against her better judgment he was sure- to _save him. _

Bonnie Bennett was irritating.

But she was loyal.

Every time Elena's life had been in danger, she had stepped up to the plate and done whatever she could to save her. She had _chosen _to die for her friends, chosen to give up her life so Elena could live. Yes, Bonnie Bennett was loyal.

Bonnie attempted to snatch the box out of his hands as he held it away from her over the roaring fire; pretending to drop it. He smirked at her, giving her Damon's most hated smile number three.

His arrogant smile

"How do you know what's in this box wont suck us into another dimension killing us instantly?"

Bonnie raised an eyebrow in question

"Really Damon? Is the big bad vampire afraid of a little box?" it was her turn to smirk at his expense.

Damon felt his smile tighten

"I'm actually wondering why you aren't curious as to why a big bad vampire would be giving you gifts in the first place."

Bonnie felt the familiar pull of her powers, resisting the urge to lash out she smiled at him sweetly.

"Which vampire should I worry about? The one giving me gifts or the one throwing me parties?"

Bonnie Bennett really _was _irritating.

Using his momentary silence as a sign he was distracted enough she snatched the box out of his hands laughing quietly to herself in victory.

Turning her back to him she peeled off the silver ribbon, opening the box she pulled back the front to reveal a small leather bound book. She picked it up dropping the box on the table, she noticed that the side had been marked with a tab; she opened it up to the selected page, reading aloud to herself,

"_A Dream of death _

_I dreamed that one had died in a strange place__  
__Near no accustomed hand,__  
__And they had nailed the boards above her face,__  
__The peasants of that land,__  
__Wondering to lay her in that solitude,__  
__And raised above her mound__  
__A cross they had made out of two bits of wood,__  
__And planted cypress round;__  
__And left her to the indifferent stars above"_

Bonnie couldn't breathe.

She felt the walls of the Salvatore mansion closing in on her; the muscles in her throat tighten constricting her air way, as she felt her heart beat throbbing loudly in her ears. The sounds of the party dying away with the words she had just read.  
It was a poem, about _Death._

It was a poem about her _death. _

Klaus hadn't approached her to wish her happy birthday; he had approached her to give her a _eulogy. _

Bonnie couldn't breathe.

She could feel her hands shaking violently as her eyes tightened with the effort to withhold the tears that were threatening to fall.

She felt the book being removed from her hands.

Looking up, her eyes met Damon's. In her haste to open the box she had forgotten his presence, had forgotten he was standing next to her. She watched in awe as Damon threw the leather bound book into the fire.

Damon wanted to kill him.

Wanted to tear him from limb to limb and watch him scramble on the ground in a bloody mess. Damon wanted to peel the flesh off his bones and relish in his agony.

Damon wanted to kill him.

Klaus.

Klaus who had control over his brother, over Elena and over everyone in Mystic falls.

Klaus who had walked into his life and set fire to everything he knew.

Klaus, who had come into his house tonight with the sole purpose of rattling _their _witch, torturing her with morbid sonnets of death just to see her crack

Klaus who had control over _him. _

If Arianna Bennett existed, Damon would find her. Not because he wanted to see the look of adoration on the face of the girl he loved for saving her best friend, not because he owed Bonnie Bennett for saving his life time and time again, no.

Damon would find her because for some reason Klaus didn't _want _him to find her

And that reason enough for him.

Damon watched as Bonnie subtly wiped the tears from her face, watching as her eyes hardened in determination. He watched as she clenched her fists in an attempt to stop them from shaking. She looked up at him as He willed her to harden up.

Klaus did not get to win tonight.

As if sensing the direction his thoughts had taken they looked up to see the Hybrid in question staring back at him.

Smiling widely Klaus raised his glass in a toast.

_Happy Birthday Bonnie _

_All _Gifts made Bonnie uncomfortable.

Gifts given to her in love, to make her smile

And gifts given in darkness, to make her break.


	8. Last night I lost the world

**Authors note: Hey everyone! I just wanted to thank all those who take the time to read my story, especially to those who reviewed it! Writing is my passion and I love doing it. This is my first fanfic so I really appreciate all the feed back! Please keep it coming! **

**Just also wanted to point out that this is indeed a BAMON fic as well as a Klaroline fic so there will be a whole lot more Bamon coming up as well. **

**Cindernella: Just wanted to let you know that there will be a lot of Klaroline coming up, but it's important for me to establish their characters first (that's why it looks like I'm taking a long time). I love Klaus and Caroline as I think they have a lot in common with each other and they're both going to continue to realize that there's a connection there that they can't ignore. I really love your reviews thank you for reading it! This chapter is for you **

**Chapter 8: Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe.**

"_You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles."_

A thousand years was a long time.

He had lived a thousand years. A thousand years meant he had lived a thousand life times. As a vampire he had often pondered the concept of time, pondered over what time meant for those who lived forever. What did it mean if he was not bound by trivial human perceptions of time? How long was too long.

Klaus wondered if a time would come when the long winded days of eternity would seem bleak and meaningless, when eternity no longer appealed to him.

Klaus wondered if the day would come when eternity became too long.

He had lived a thousand years and a thousand years had taught him the art of letting go.

He had many regrets.

He had centuries of sins, centuries of victims, centuries of blood on his hands.

However, Klaus had long since embraced the monster within. At night, the faces of his victims haunted his dreams, coming to him, clawing at him. They called to him. _We're waiting brother _they whispered.

Klaus had embraced the monster within, but embracing the monster had come at a cost.

He had regrets.

Centuries ago Klaus had made the decision not to look for her, even in his weakest moments when the insanity took him and he prayed for death, wished for the power of nature to strip him of his immortality, to make the choice for him and to end it all. Even then, when all seemed lost, he didn't let himself find her. He didn't let himself search for her.

Klaus knew the truth.

Had he tried, he was sure he would find her.

Klaus loved confrontation.

He thrived on it. Enjoyed the thrill of the chase, he was a predator, it was his nature. It wasn't just the chase he enjoyed, he enjoyed the look on a person's face when they were at deaths door. In his eyes, the light shined brightest in a person's eyes when they were seconds from death, experiencing everything in entirety moments before they were gone, in his eyes it was beautiful.

The fragility of human life enthralled Klaus, the monster within him rejoicing in the power, the power to choose who lived and who died, the monster within him relished in the feeling of playing God.

Yes, Klaus loved confrontation, lived off it.

Yet, the part of him that he had buried centuries ago, buried beneath the rubble of humanity knew that he would not survive a confrontation with _her. _Confrontation with a girl who had ownership of parts of his soul, parts he had cut out a long time ago.

Truth was, he didn't _want _to find her.

Didn't want to find the decaying remains of his soul that he knew were laying at her feet. He didn't want to remember the man he once was, the man who had trouble feeling alive so he stabbed his own heart repeatedly just to feel something. He didn't want to remember how every time the would had broken him,_ she_ had build him back, stronger

_He was running. Running through the caves, his feet aching, aching with pressure, pressure to keep going. He stumbled through the darkness, blood dripping from the cut on his forehead, the sweat of his perspiration smearing the blood on his face, making it bitter in taste. With numb fingers he built himself a small fire with a few wooden logs nearby, illuminating the cave as he made his way over to the foot of the cave wall. The cave wall that held his history._

_His family's history. _

_Staring up at the wall he traced the names of his family with his finger tips, the names he had carved into the wall himself. He traced the cracks of the wall, taking in the yellowing hues of the earth. He fell to his knees, succumbing to the wall._

_He wished he could scummb to his father._

_To Mikael._

_He cursed his stubbornness, wished he could swallow his disdain, swallow his hatred, and swallow his pride so he could succumb._

_But he couldn't make himself do it, couldn't succumb to Mikaels will, just like he couldn't make himself love him._

_And it was killing him. _

_He felt small arms wrap themselves around his neck, drawing him close. He closed his eyes breathing in her earthy scene. She smelled like the caves, smelled like the earth beneath his feet, she smelled like nature around him, like summer, spring, autumn and winter. He couldn't place her scent, only that it was everywhere around him. Invading him. Owning him. _

_He rubbed her arms grasping them tightly, raining kisses on her arms, he clutched them to his face, running his nose down the inside of her wrist, inhaling her. He wanted to draw her close, absorb as much as her as he could, take her in and make her part of him. To devour her. _

_He felt heer kiss the side of his neck, feeling the soft traces of tears, she was crying for him._

_He hated her tears._

_Hated to see the traces of moisture in her eyes, hated the sound of her sobs as they crushed her from the inside, just as they crushed him._

_Her sadness killed him._

_Tearing his insides apart until he couldn't breathe. Her sadness forced him to his knees, forced him to succumb._

_For he had nothing. Nothing but her generosity nothing to put his hope in except her. Nothing. He stood at her door, holding broken scraps, yet she opened her door. She saved him from the storm, even as he was the most helpless amongst all slaves._

_When all went to sleep, she never did. When he broke, she held him up. When every means failed, she saved him. When all creation left him, she remained. She always remained._

_E never forgot how she carried him when the storm pushed him to his knees and there was no one that could help him. When he was broken he never forgot who fixed him, he never forgot who put him back together._

_The moments when he felt helpless and alone, he never forgot who never left._

_He never forgot those moments when it was her._

_Only her. _

"_I hate him" he whispered against her arms, hiding his face. He felt her smile through her tears against his neck. _

"_Don't Niklaus. Hatred is ugly, it's ugly and tarnishes your soul" she paused and he knew. Knew there was more, knew that she was holding back._

"_He's your father Niklaus" _

_He got up angrily, pushing her back in his haste to move away from her._

_He was angry._

"_Don't say that! He's not my father!" he yelled_

_His rage consumed the cave, suffocating everything within sight. The light from the fire created shadowy figures against the walls of the caves, elongated dark images.  
The army of his rage._

_He turned to face her and froze._

_She lay on the ground on her elbows staring up at him, her eyes wide with something he couldn't quite place. Her cotton skirts dirty from where she had kneeled in the dirt to hold him. She was breathing heavily, her cheeks moist with the remains of her tars._

_He was horrified._

_He ran to her quickly, his rage setting sail to lands unknown, long forgotten. He picked her up from the ground crushing her to his body. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he engulfed her, wrapping his legs around his waist she trembled beneath his touch._

_He forgot how to breathe._

"_Forgive me" he rasped, his voice strained as struggled to swallow the lump growing in his throat. His heart beat wildly in his chest._

_He had scared her._

_Frightened her with his anger, pushing her to the ground in his rage._

_He wanted to tear his tongue from his throat, tear it out and silence his offending lips forever._

_She pulled away from him clutching his face with her small hands, she forced him to look at her. He marveled at her ability to render him defenseless._

"_You are better then him. Rise above him and you will surprise yourself" she whispered. Touching his forehead with her own, "don't let him win"_

_Klaus closed his eyes._

_It hurt to look at her at times._

"_I don't know how to not be angry, I don't know how to let go" he replied brokenly._

_She trailed her fingers against his nose, his cheekbones, his forehead leaving ghost like touches that set a fire burning within him. He kissed her fingers as they lingered on his lips. He stared at her. He stared into her._

"_Niklaus, the reason why we feel so much pain is because we hold on so tightly to this life, this temporary life, because we're so paralyzed and terrified of loss. We hold on till our hands bleed and because of our self shattering determination we are blinded by the truth, we fail to see the answer: Just let go" _

"Why'd you come tonight?"

Klaus had been walking out of the Salvatore mansion when Caroline had spotted him at the end of the drive way. With his back to her, he stood still, staring ahead of him. She had followed him curious as to why he was there; she looked around him to see what was so fascinating that had him staring ahead.

Empty roads.

Klaus turned to face her. Caroline stood before him in a strapless white satin dress, reaching her knees, her hair elegantly pulled to the side. He wondered what the satin of her dress would feel like within his hands.

She looked like Venus rising from the ocean, a goddess.

"Just passing through love, I was hoping to catch a glimpse of the belle of the ball"

Caroline moved closer to him, studying his features for any sign of, dishonesty, scheming, any sign of deception. It was Klaus after all.

She crossed her arms noting the way his eyes took her in, he was fascinated.

He was hungry.

"So you must have missed Bonnie" she retorted

"I was talking about you Caroline"

She hated it when he did that.

When he said things like that. She knew she was a pretty girl. Caroline had long accustomed herself to the compliments men paid her. She was used to men giving her charming smiles, telling her she was beautiful, hanging off her every smile, her every giggle, telling her pretty things, giving her pretty things.

She had seen and memorized every look men had given her.

She had them down to a tee.

Men we're predictable. Men were shallow.

Caroline was used to men looking at her.

Caroline was not used to men looking at her the way Klaus did.

He stared at her like he knew her every secret, hungry, consuming. Klaus looked at her like he either wanted to kill her or kiss her. Caroline didn't know which one was worse.

"I'm surprised you would want to see me after our last conversation" she said, changing the subject.

Klaus chuckled softly grinning at her.

"Oh come on love, we had a little tiff. I thought we could move pass it"

"Sure, we can move pass it once I find Arianna and convince her to help us"

Klaus continued to smile, cringing internally at the mention of _her. _

"Now now, don't ruin a great night with such silly talk" he replied carelessly, he moved closer to her.

Too close for her liking.

Caroline took a step back, ignoring the way his smile widened in response.

"You could save me a lot of time by just telling me where she is"

Klaus shrugged "I can't tell you what I don't know"

_He didn't know where she was _Caroline thought.

"We all have our weaknesses Caroline, we don't all wear ours on our sleeves for the world to see, to see, to use, to exploit"

Centuries ago Klaus had made the decision not to look for her and in doing so he had cut out his weakness, carving it out ruthlessly with a knife.

He was talking about Bonnie she realized

"You're right. Bonnie is my weakness, anyone who knows me knows that, and yeah maybe I do wear it for the world to see. But at least I know it, do you?"

Klaus was sure that if he still had a heart.

It would have stopped.

"Fate continuously puts her life on the line by placing her in life and death situations yet here you are, fighting so hard to keep her in this world. Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps she just doesn't belong here? Maybe it's time you let go"

"Is that what you did? Let go?"

Klaus regarded her wearily.  
She was perceptive.

"I let go a long time ago"

Caroline's laughter filled the night sky, cruel and mocking to the ear. She stared at him giving him a small smile that failed to reach her eyes.

Klaus recognized the look on her face and the monster within recoiled tightly ready to strike.

She pitied him.

"There's a reason why you won't say her name, why you won't tell me a single thing about her. You're afraid to give me anything that could lead me to her. You haven't let go Klaus, you're fighting just as hard as me"

And just like that, something inside him broke.

He lived a thousand years, met thousands of people, but Klaus was sure that if he was to live a thousand more, he would never meet someone like Caroline Forbes.

'_We are blinded by the truth, we fail to see the answer, just let go'. _


	9. Cruelty of attachment

**Authors note: Hey guys! Just want to thank all of you for your wonderful reviews again! Please keep them coming as they motivate me to keep going! I've been a little run down today so this chapter isn't as good as I hoped it would be. I really want to write the characters write as to do them justice! I hope the story isn't going too slowly (I'm a little worried about that) if you think that is the case please don't hesitate to tell me any concerns you all have!**

**Thank you CinderNella for your review once again! It always puts a smile on my face reading it! it is appreciated and I will take what you said on board. Don't worry too much about Arianna, as she is part of his past. We all have a first love after all. **

**Here's a Bamon filled chapter for all my Bamon fans! **

**Chapter 9: Cruelty of attachment **

"_Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached."_

Damon Salvatore didn't have friends.

Over the years Damon had come into contact with many people. He had acquaintances, people he needed things from, people who shared his common interests, people who cared about the same things and people he did- he did have a small list after all- Damon knew people.

But Damon didn't have friends.

Friends meant sharing things, depending on one another, giving up your time and energy to serve someone else. Friends meant sacrificing your happiness at times for the happiness of others, others who weren't bound to you by the bond of family. Friends meant putting yourself out there and hoping that someone took notice. Friends meant caring about someone other than yourself. Friends meant sacrifice, vulnerability, trust. Friends meant letting someone in. Friends meant attachment.

Damon didn't do friends.

For one hundred and forty five years Damon had pined away for the love of one woman. He had spent years biding his time, waiting. It was during that time that the truth had come to Damon one night like a revelation. It revealed itself shattering all previous perceptions. He had seen the consequences of attachment, felt its ill effects deep within his bones, so deep he had spend a century stitching up open wounds. Damon had felt what it was like when you lost a bit of yourself every day, felt it chipping away slowly until there was nothing left. Nothing but an empty vessel, an empty shell. He had felt what it was like when you no longer had control, when you no longer belonged to yourself. Damon had felt what it was like when part of you died when those attachments were severed, when they inevitably broke because everything came to an end.

He didn't have friends because he didn't _want _them. It wasn't because people didn't want to be his friend, wasn't because people hadn't tried, because people had tried.

They had died trying.

Alaric.

Damon often wondered if he was able to go back in time, would he be able to look pin point when exactly Alaric Saltzman had penetrated his life, when he started to be mean more than just a haggard old history teacher, when he stopped being just someone Damon knew and started being something more. Would he be able to find the moment when Alaric had wormed his way into Damon's world and grabbed hold of it as if he had a right to be there. Would Damon be able to find the exact moment when Alaric had stopped being nobody and started being somebody, somebody to Damon.  
His friend.

But he couldn't do it. Couldn't find the exact moment when it had happened. Couldn't pin point it. Because the exact moment didn't exist. Because the truth was, one day Damon had woken up and he was just _there. _

Alaric had become part of Damon's world, had become his friend and Damon had hated him for it. Damon had given him many reasons to hate him, he had turned his wife into a vampire, he had killed him not once but _twice. _Alaric Saltzman should have hated him, should have run a thousand miles from him.

Except that he didn't. He was always just _there._

Damon hated him for it.

_Hated_ him for all the moments where he was at his weakest, hated that he was there at the end of the night with a bottle of old whiskey and shrug that said a thousand words: _Life sucks. _Hated him for pushing back when he needed it, hated him for knowing when he was doing the wrong thing for the right reason and vice versa.

Most of all, Damon hated his only friend for dying.

Damon didn't do friends, Damon didn't have friends.

"This is the last time I'm calling you Blondie. This isn't the breakfast club, you have five minutes to get here or I'm leaving without you" Damon spoke into his phone. Leaning back on his stall and finishing his glass of whiskey in one go; he surveyed the bar with disinterest. School had finished an hour ago and the local hang out was beginning to fill with people. Two years ago Damon would have been picking out who would become his happy meal for the night. _How times have changed _he thought.

Catching the sounds of soft laughter coming from the entrance way he looked over to see the Caroline walk through the doors, her arms intertwined with someone else. She wasn't alone.

She had bought the witch.

Damon was going to eat something.

He growled angrily, slipping off the stool he walked over to them determined to know why Caroline had bought Bonnie when he had specifically told her to come alone.

He was going to eat something.

Stopping in front of them he watched as both girls slowly acknowledged his presence, Caroline glancing at him nervously with a guilty half smile while Bonnie glared at him with annoyance.

Something's never change

"What's up Damon?" Caroline spoke up happily. Damon and Bonnie both turned to look at her, both unnerved by her perky tone. Damon smiled tightly in response.

"Oh you know, I was thinking about writing a book about our lives since we almost die every other day, would hate to deny the world our exciting life experiences since we are such an exciting bunch, Just _waiting _around for inspiration to come along" he replied audaciously

Caroline was nervous.

She hadn't intended on bringing Bonnie with her to Mystic grill to meet Damon, but she had no other choice. Bonnie had skipped up to her in the car park before Caroline could make her escape, she had already been ten minutes late and was well aware of the Salvatore temper. She didn't want to give him a reason to rethink their alliance. Bonnie had been all smiles and hugs and had asked where she was going. Caroline's nervous response been lost on Bonnie who had insisted on tagging along to mystic grill for a drink and a 'catch up'.

Caroline had always found it hard saying no to her.

She had found it hard saying no when they were thirteen and Bonnie had asked her if she wanted to stay home and watch Carrie on the night of their school dance, had found it hard saying no when they were fifteen and Bonnie had asked her if she could sleep over _even though _Caroline had planned on spending the night with Jake from the football team.

Caroline couldn't say no.

Caroline never said no.

"I'm surprised your ego can withstand sharing the limelight with us mere mortals"

_Oh no _Caroline thought.

Damon turned to look at Bonnie as she rose to the challenge staring back at him without breaking eye contact. She wouldn't back down. It wasn't in her nature to do so.

"Who said anything about sharing?" he replied

He would never admit it out loud and would deny it if anyone asked, but Bonnie Bennett was a force to be reckoned with. Even now, when he wanted to rip her tongue out.

"Of course, who would believe you capable of such a thing"

Caroline tugged on Bonnies arm pulling her close to her side; she wrapped an arm around her friends shoulder.  
Damon noted the protective gesture and snickered. Had he wanted to, he could have Bonnie Bennett sipping out of a straw for the rest of her nature born life.

"Loose the attitude Judgy, its unattractive"

Damon smiled sardonically at the witch while filing through his pocket for his phone. While playing 'battle of wits' with the resident Witch was a favorite past time of his, he had places to be, old immortal Witches to find.

Damon despised it when she looked at him with those judgmental green eyes of hers, especially when she looked at him like _that._

Like he had just kicked a puppy.

Caroline jumped; startled by the sharp ringing of her phone, indicating that she had received a message. Keeping a firm grip of Bonnie she picked up her phone only to realize she had received a message from Damon.

While he was standing in front of her.

_Get rid of her. _

Caroline gritted her teeth throwing him a glare while he continued to smile at them in return.

_I don't know what to do _she replied back, glancing uneasily at Bonnie who was scanning the room as if she was looking for someone.

Damon rolled his eyes.

Amateurs

"So Judgy, I heard baby Gilbert was looking for you, something about wanting to talk and reigniting old passion, naturally I stopped listening of course" he supplied innocently.

Bonnie flinched involuntarily, intensifying her glare.

Would the world really miss Damon Salvatore?

Sure, Stefan would probably be a little upset if she was to kill his brother and Elena probably wouldn't take it too well. But would he actually be missed? Maybe Bonnie could justify it as doing the world a favor. They would all be better off. Perhaps they wouldn't have an aversion to her hurting him a little.

Just a little

"Listening to teenage gossip Damon, isn't that beneath you? You must be losing your touch"

Damon laughed loudly at her quick reply. This was why trading insults with her never got old. Because she would never back down, would never give up. She didn't know how to.

"So you admit I have a _touch?" _he asked wiggling his eyebrows.

Before Jeremy Gilbert had come around, Damon Salvatore had believed that Bonnie Bennett to be asexual. Had believed that nothing or no one could crack the iron clad shell she had cocooned herself in. Had believed no one could scale the walls of troy she had built around herself. He had believed that nothing could hurt her because nothing could touch her, nothing got close enough. Damon had believed that Bonnie Bennett wasn't like other girls, wasn't _human. _

Until he had proven him wrong.

Jeremy Gilbert had penetrated the Witches world, breaking down barriers and tearing down walls. Usually Damon did not care for the romantic entanglements of others, especially the romantic interludes of Sabrina the teenage witch, unless, it benefited him, unless he could use it to his own advantage.

Right on cue, Jeremy walked into Mystic Grill heading towards the bar, his back pack slung over his shoulder as he made his way behind the bar.

Bonnie noting his entrance glanced over to him subtly before giving Damon a dirty look.

"You're disgusting" she retorted. Squeezing Caroline's hand in assurance she gave her friend a small smile before following Jeremy to the bar.

Caroline watched sadly as her friend make small talk with the boy who had broken her heart, a boy who Caroline had tried _not _to tear in two when she had learned of what he had done. She half wanted to march over to them to interrupt their conversation, interrupt any _reunion _they planned on having, a reunion she was sure, would end in disaster.

"You don't have to talk to her like that you know" she said angrily, shoving her phone back into her bag she turned to glare at Damon. Maybe she couldn't chew out Jeremy, but Damon was the next best thing.

"I don't have to, but I definitely want to. Don't give me that look Barbie; I got rid of her didn't I?"

Caroline continued to glare at him "You didn't have to throw her at Jeremy Damon" she bit back angrily, furious at the vampire for toying with the feelings of her friend.

Damon groaned, arguing with Caroline wasn't nearly as fun as arguing with the Witch.

"Forget the man child. Are you ready to go or not? We should have been on the road an hour ago" he shrugged on his leather jacket, while grabbing his keys.

They had been distracted long enough.

Caroline sobered up quickly "Yeah I'm ready to go, let's get out of here quickly before someone sees us" she said hurrying him along as they made their way out of mystic grill and into the car park headed towards his car.

Damon Salvatore may not have had friends, but he had a brother.

Stefan Salvatore, who was leaning against Damon's car door with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, waiting for him.

Damon wanted to pull out his hair in frustration. They were so _close._

"Damon, I was looking for you. What are you guys doing?" he asked looking between Caroline and Damon.

Over the years Damon had come into contact with many people. He had acquaintances, people he needed things from, people who shared his common interests, people who were useful but expendable, but none of them were his brother.

Damon had long since concluded that there were many different levels of attachments, some created the greatest illusions, the greatest lies; some attachments could be severed easily with a few well chosen words. Some others did not make it through the early years of its infancy, never lasting long enough to cause any damage.

Damon didn't have friends, but he had a brother.

Then there were some attachments that could never be severed, could never be severed without causing _permanent _damage. Some attachments that ran so deep that they not only became a part of you, they _owned _you.


	10. Crippled inside

**Authors note: Thank you for your reviews! I'm not feeling too well so I don't think I'm going to be able to update tomorrow, but please keep the reviews coming! **** This chapter is a little disappointing as I was lacking the motivation, hopefully the next one will be better.**

**Hazel21: I completely understand your concern regarding Arianna. But I created her character to give Klaus some depth, to show that he was once human and he loved like a human too. But it's been a thousand years and things change, he isn't the same person anymore. I love Klaus and Caroline and their scenes together, I want to build on them and have them grow together, but don't worry I will keep their scenes coming! I hope I don't disappoint! :)**

**CinderNella: Thank you thank you and thank you! **

**Chapter 10: Crippled inside **

"_It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for__happiness__. We learn so little from peace."_

Damon didn't remember his father.

He had attempted over the years to remember his father's face, to commit to memory the contours of his face, the strength of his eyes, and the grayness of his hair. But time and time again he had failed, failed to remember, failed to remember the man who had raised him, failed to remember his face.

But he remembered his disappointment.

He may not have remembered his father's face, may have failed to remember the grip of his handshake, but he did remembered his father's disappointment, remembered his father's anger. He remembered his father's displeasure when he was fourteen years old and he came to him asking him why _they _were privileged while others weren't why they were blessed with the fortune of having e_verything _while others were born into this world to be slaves. He had remembered _that _look, as he had seen that look repeatedly throughout his human life. He had remembered the look of astonishment when he had enquired on the conditions of the poor. His father looked _disgusted _with him.

He remembered his father's displeasure when he had come to him with his decision to abandon his education and join the ranks of the army. He remembered his father's scathing words _you're useless, a waste of space. _He had spent hours sitting on a rock on the outskirts of his father's property, staring out into the woods contemplating his father's words, embracing his father's scorn. He had stopped questioning his role in his father's eyes a long time ago, stopped questioning his father's discontentment. For one night he had seen it, transparent as fish in a bowel of clear water. Damon had his mother's eyes.

He was his mother's son.

Damon failed to remember his father's face, failed to remember the face of the man who raised him. But Damon never failed to remember _hers. _

Remembered the light of her eyes, the warm rosy hue of her cheeks, flushed with happiness, the softness of her laughter, he remembered her face. He remembered being six years old and recalled the sheen of sweat the covered her face as the fever took her, wreaking havoc through her fragile body. He remembered kissing her sweat soaked brow as she clutched him tightly, whispering endearments of love and cherishment.

But one memory outshone all, outshining his mothers passing and his father's disappointment.

His little brother clutching his side

Damon remembered the moment the light left his mothers eyes, the moment she took her last breath. He remembered his father's sobs, remembered the way his father had turned away from him leaving him alone in his grief.

He remembered the suffocation of his grief, the blinding force of his tears as he choked on his mothers loss, but most of all, he remembered that he was not alone.

His brother was 3 years old; he did not understand the enormity of what had just occurred. Did not understand the loss that they had just suffered, the paralyzing loss that would haunt them for years to come, but Damon understood.

He clutched his brother to his side and swore an oath in that moment. Swore that he would never let his brother feel the pain of loss, would never let him feel the crippling effects of a grief so strong it shook you to your core. Damon swore that he would protect his brother.

Damon watched his brother look up to him over the years, watched him stare at him in wonder and admiration, watched as he emulated his every move, hoping that one day he would grow up to be like his big brother.

Damon remembered that look in his brothers eye, he held onto it in his darkest moments, when all the light in the world had left him and he faced the bitterness of eternity alone.

He clung to the memory even as he found himself taken by the darkness of his hatred for his brother, even when he hated him for loving the same woman, for loving the same woman and being her downfall. Because that's what you did with family. You grabbed them and held onto them and told them how much you hated them. And it was okay, because no matter how much you hated them in that moment, they still belonged to you.

So Damon clung to the memory of his brothers eyes.

He was someone's brother.

_Damon glared at his Stefan's inconvenient timing, cursing his brother's sixth sense for showing up when he was least wanted._

"_What are you guys up to?" repeated Stefan, turning this time to ask Caroline who stood at Damon's side silently, wringing her hands nervously. _

"_Off to the mall to catch the latest Christian Bale movie" he replied sarcastically. _

_Damon knew his brother. _

_Knew that no answer would satisfy him except the truth, knew that no matter what excuse they came up with, his brother would continue to look at him in disbelief, in suspicion. Naturally he couldn't tell him the truth._

_So he did what he did best._

_He deflected. _

_Caroline stifled a nervous laugh as Stefan gave his brother an uneasy look._

"_Caroline, is everything okay?" _

"I knew you made a wrong turn half an hour ago, just admit it, we're lost"

Damon gripped the staring the wheel tightly, it had been three hours since they had gotten on the road, and Damon was sure that if they remained in the car for another hour, Caroline Forbes would become road kill.

"I thought we had a no talking rule" he asked sarcastically, turning up the radio in an effort to drown out the ramblings of teenage Barbie.

Caroline was going crazy.

After sitting in a confined space with Damon Salvatore of all people, Caroline was sure she was losing remnants of her sanity. She believed anyone who was in her position would have to agree with her. After arguing for twenty minutes about which way to go and who was going to drive, they had fallen in a previously agreed upon silence.

It was the only way they would make it there in one piece.

Caroline fiddled with the ends of her plaid skirt, pulling at the loose thread that had come undone. Since getting in the car Caroline had forced herself to ignore her phone which was slowly yet surely accumulating hysterical messages from her friends. She knew for a fact that Stefan had not bought their excuse of going to see her mother for some mysterious vampire attack, she knew for a fact that Stefan, like Elena, like Bonnie, was one of the many who was now continuously calling her phone. Sighing loudly she rifled through her bag looking for the offensive piece of technology that was ringing, yet again.

"Turn it off before I throw it out the window"

Turning to give Damon a dirty look she looked down to see who was calling her this time.

Bonnie.

Caroline bit her lip in anxiously. She hated lying to Bonnie, hated avoiding her and keeping things from her. But she knew, had she divulged her intentions to her friend she would have done everything in her power to stop her, or worse.

Go with her.

Bonnie had a way of unraveling the pieces that made Caroline, _Caroline. _She had the ability of deciphering the young vampire in a way no one else could. Caroline was sure, that the parts of herself that Caroline had yet to discover, had long since been discovered by Bonnie.

Bonnie knew Caroline better than she knew herself.

_Caroline rifled through her closet dissatisfied with each item of clothing she pulled out, pulling out a copper colored peasant skirt she examined it with a critical eye before she twisting her face in disgust, adding it to the pile of discarded clothing at the foot of her bed. She had been going through her closet for an hour and had yet to find anything suitable to wear to the Mystic Falls pageant, the same pageant she had spent weeks agonizing over and organizing right down to the last place setting. _

"_I thought the strapless blue dress with the sequences was nice" _

_Caroline glanced over at bonnie who lay on her bed her head popped up on her shoulder grinning from ear to ear. _

_Caroline found herself grinning back, Bonnie had that effect on her. Pulling out a yellow collared shirt she threw it at her giggling as Bonnie jumped up to duck, their laughter filling the room. _

"_You and I both know that blue dress is fugly" she replied, turning her attention back to her closet and examining it closely. _

"_It wasn't as bad as the red one, what look were you going for when you bought that? Pretty woman?"  
Caroline sighed; giving up she threw herself on her bed dramatically turning her back to Bonnie she frowned unhappily_

"_I wish I didn't have to go" she said sullenly _

_She didn't want to go to a dance, didn't want to socialize, didn't want to be around people that reminded her of him. Thinking of Tyler made her think of what he did and she couldn't think about that, couldn't think about that because every time she did she fell apart. She had too much to do, she had worked too hard to let it fall apart._

_She couldn't believe she had agreed to go on a date with him. _

_Couldn't understand what had possessed her to agree. She knew she had done it for the right reasons, in hindsight one date in exchange for someone's life didn't seem like much, didn't seem like he was asking for much._

_But it was Klaus, and he always asked too much. _

_Always wanted too much._

_Caroline often wondered if he would ever be satisfied. Wondered what would happen if he was offered the world on a silver platter, if he had a hybrid army of thousands, if he had the world at his feet, if he had it all. Would he be satisfied? _

_Caroline knew the answer._

_He would never be satisfied._

_Klaus would always want more. _

"_You had no other choice Caroline" replied Bonnie. Caroline felt her friend throw her arm around her waist hugging her fiercely. _

"_Yeah I know, I just wish I didn't have to go" _

_She felt the bed move slowly as Bonnie sat up looking down at Caroline, a pensive look on her face. _

"_It's okay you know, to be attracted to him" _

_Somewhere in the world, statues were weeping. _

_Caroline's eyes widened in shock, of all the things she had expected Bonnie to say, that was not one of them. Sitting up quickly she turned to look at her friend only to find her watching her intently, examining her closely as if she was searching for something._

"_How can you say that Bonnie? He's a monster" she retorted astonished. _

_Caroline was not attracted to Klaus._

_Klaus with his faux charm, Klaus with his deception, Klaus with his intense gaze that made her feel naked, Klaus with his persistence, Klaus who just wouldn't take no for an answer, Klaus who killed Jenna. _

_Bonnie smiled, her eyes warming as she gazed out the window. Caroline realized that whatever Bonnie was looking for, she had found._

"_We're all monsters Caroline" she whispered. _

_Caroline was stunned. _

"_By all means I'm not making excuses for Klaus of all people, but we all have blood on our hands, me included. I helped Damon Salvatore kill Mason Lockwood, I failed to de-spell the compass that lead to the death of the mayor and also lead to you becoming a Vampire. Stefan left a trail of dead bodies throughout Tennessee, Damon spent years killing for sport. These are the people we care about; these are the people we protect." _

_Bonnie paused, reaching out to take hold of Caroline's hand._

"_We're all monsters Caroline; sometimes I wonder what makes us think we are any better than him?" _

_Caroline stared down at their hands, she felt the sudden urge to wash her hands, her face, her arms, to scrub so hard until her flesh bled. _

"_He killed Jenna Bonnie, how can you think I'm attracted to him?" she asked quietly_

_Caroline was afraid of her answer. _

_She was afraid that no matter what she said, it would break her in two. _

"_Because you're too big for Mystic Falls Caroline, so big that I'm afraid to wake up one day and find everything I love I about you gone. I'm afraid that everything that makes you, you is going to be swallowed up by this town" _

_Caroline was mesmerized. _

_Mesmerized by her affection for the young witch, mostly she was mesmerized by the sincerity of her friends love. _

_She would never be able to understand how Bonnie did it. How she was able to reach out into her and root around until she had found what she was looking for. She would never be able to understand how she made it so effortless._

_Caroline searched so hard for words, any way to interpret the language of her own heart and the bond she felt in that moment. But in the end she was left with nothing but silence and deep down, she hoped it was understood. _

"_You're dying in this town Caroline. You're drowning without a boat in sight, and someone like Klaus is your life jacket. He represents everything you're afraid to want. He's dangerous, thrilling, and spontaneous, he's a risk. So part of you is attracted to him and it's okay Caroline as long as you don't lose sight of who he is. As long as you remember who he is. " _

_Klaus was a monster._

_He had killed, butchered, lied, stole, demolished and destroyed. He was what every child feared at night, everything a mother feared their child one day would become. _

_Klaus was a monster._

Caroline felt the car come to a screeching halt. She peered outside to find they had stopped at a small house on the outskirts of Atlanta. Looking around she noted the desolate location of the house, they must have been miles away from the rest of civilization, which was never a good sign in her books.

"Remember what I said, don't say anything and let me do all the talking" Caroline rolled her eyes in response before following Damon out of the car.

_But a small part of her, the part she had argued to death, the part that she had beaten back with logic and reason, the part Bonnie had found buried beneath insecurity and shame, the part Bonnie had exposed and released into the world, that small part of her wondered what Klaus was like before he had become a monster. _

_Something's were never meant to be found._

_Something's were never meant to be unearthed. Because sometimes the things we spend so much time searching for, becomes the cause of our greatest pain. _


	11. From a dead end to a second path

**Authors note: I said I wouldn't update tonight but I couldn't help myself! Being sick makes me miserable but writing makes me feel alive **

**Just wanted to thank all those who are following this story, really puts a smile on my face!**

**Once again, **

**CinderNella: Thank you! It makes me happy to know you are enjoying the story!**

**Hazel21: Yes I really love Bonnie and Caroline's relationship as well, there will be more to come I promise. **

**KeyWordsmith: Thank you for the review and the suggestion! It's something to definitely think about. **

**Chapter 11: From a dead end to a second path **

"_Appreciate everything, regret nothing. Even if your path leads you to a dead end, at least the journey will be worth remembering" _

Wednesday

It was a Wednesday when Caroline had came to the realization that her relationship with Matt was at a dead end. She remembered the moment well; she was standing in her kitchen in her baby blue bathrobe, her hair high in a pony tail, pouring herself a cup of hot coffee while answering a few text messages from Bonnie. She had taken a sip of coffee when the cup had slipped from her hands, she had watched as it fell to the floor shattering into pieces.

She had stood for a few minutes watching the coffee stain the tiles. Watched the murky color seep into the cracks before stilling, she stood examining the broken pieces before bending down to pick them up, watching with morbid curiosity how the the broken shards of glass tore into her hands.

It was a Wednesday.

It was a Wednesday when Caroline realized her relationship was at a dead end. She had realized this as she watched the small incisions on her hands open up and bleed before closing up, healing with supernatural speed.

She was going to live forever.

And Matt, poor small town Matt, would grow into a man. He would grow into a beautiful man. He would go to college, play football, and get an education before settling into a nine to five job. He would grow up and become someone's husband, someone's father, someone's grandfather; he would whither with time before eventually succumbing to the bitterness of mortality.

Caroline would live forever.

Frozen at 17, as a beautiful young girl, blonde, sharp, vibrant and dead

Always dead

She would never know the feeling of being someone's mother, she would never feel the stirring of life within her, she would never feel the satisfaction that came when you quenched your thirst with a tall glass of water after a long summers day, never feel the tingly sensation within her finger tips, never feel the nerves of a first date, never feel the queasiness of a hangover. She would never feel the fragility of life.

Always dead, Caroline Forbes was going to live forever.

Caroline Forbes, captain of the cheerleading squad, miss mystic falls, student council president had fallen in love with Matt Donovan. Matt Donovan, captain of the football team, part-time bus boy at mystic grill, Matt Donovan who had once told her she had cooties. She had loved him, most ardently. He was the first boy to make her feel beautiful, both inside and outside. He had looked at her like she was the only girl in the room. She had loved him.

But Caroline Forbes, captain of the cheerleading squad, miss mystic falls, student council president had died, and everything had changed.

So it was a Wednesday when Caroline realized her relationship with Matt was at a dead end.

"Don't look at me like that Blondie! I didn't know that was going to happen!" yelled Damon angrily as he hastily wiped the blood off his hands with a dish towel, scowling at the young vampire as she followed him out of the house heading towards his car. Caroline followed behind slowly; she too tugged at her shirt, her shirt that was stained with the crimson remains of blood.

They were at a dead end.

_Caroline had a bad feeling about this._

_She waited patiently at the bottom of the steps of the small house as Damon had insisted she wait outside while he inspected the area, ensuring they were not walking into some sort of trap. Caroline rolling her eyes at the Salvatore's paranoia had agreed to wait._

_She had a bad feeling about this._

_Looking up, she inspected the small house with greater detail, while at first she had assumed the house looked lonely, desolate and out of place, she was forced to change her opinion. She was wrong. It had character; it was warm, old and homey. She trailed her fingers down the railing of the stairs, the paint had chipped away revealing the remains of the aged wood that had withered away with age. _

"_Alright let's do this" said Damon, appearing next to her, running his hands through his dark hair, Caroline noted that his entire demeanor had changed. _

_He looked determined. _

_He knocked on the door slowly; before stepping back to wait for an answer, Caroline peered around him to watch as the door opened a minute later revealing a young girl with fiery curly red hair and bright blue eyes. She couldn't have been older then nineteen, she stared at Caroline in confusion before her eyes settled on Damon. Her eyes glossed over in a look Caroline had seen many times on the faces of many, a look she herself had sported; hatred. _

"_You" she whispered angrily opening the door completely to unleash the full extent of her glare on the older Salvatore. _

"_Me." Damon grinned sheepishly_

_Caroline watched the exchange with confusion.  
It had all been Damon's idea._

_After failing to find Arianna the conventional way by utilizing resources offered by the Sheriff's station, Damon had come to her with the bright idea of contacting another witch to help locate the mysterious Bennett. Just like with every other plan suggested by Damon, it was met with skepticism and suspicion._

"_You better have a good reason for darkening my doorstep Damon Salvatore" the young girl asked viciously_

"_Actually I do, I need your help" replied Damon._

_Throwing her head back she laughed loudly, clapping her hands together._

"_You're crazy if you think I would ever willingly help you"  
Damon smirked. Caroline suspected the raven haired vampire had been expecting this reaction, she just hoped he had come prepared with a plan. _

"_Come on Sara, I let your mother live that night, I could have let my brother tear out her throat, but I didn't so technically, you owe me" _

_His reply was met with silence._

"_If memory serves me well, she still died"_

_Damon smiled charmingly._

"_Well that's hardly my fault now is it?"_

_Sara growled in anger, moving to close the door _

_Caroline held up her hand to stop her "Please, we need your help. Forget him, it's not for him it's for my friend, she's a witch too and she's in danger" she pleaded _

_Caroline watched as the young witches eyes clouded in suspicion. Opening the door wider she took a step closer to the entryway, careful not to cross the threshold that prevented them from entering. Caroline shifted uneasily under the intensity of the young girls gaze. Caroline knew she was looking for a sign of sincerity, any sort of sign that would give her an idea of whether or not helping Damon Salvatore was a good idea. Caroline gave her a small smile, hoping this would entice her to help them. _

"_I'm not inviting you in, so just tell me what you want" _

_Damon grinned in victory_

"_I knew you would see things my way, now I need you to go inside, wave your magic wand and ask Casper the ghost whether or not Bonnie Bennett is the last living descendent of the Bennett bloodline" _

_The next few minutes were the longest of Caroline's life._

_She watched in horror as Sara's eyes glazed over as if she no longer had control of her movements. She watched as the young Witch reached into the pocket of her jeans producing a pocket knife. Caroline and Damon watched in silence as she opened the knife and with no hesitation,_

_Slit her throat._

_The scent of blood immediately invaded her senses, suppressing everything else, Caroline felt the tightening of her throat as the burning sensation spread throughout her body, giving in to her basic instincts momentarily she felt the veins around her eyes begin to protrude, fighting back the predator within she held her breath._

_Turning to look at Damon, they both stared on helplessly as the young witch slowly bled to death at her front door. _

_The next few minutes were the longest of Caroline's life._

_Caroline stood frozen in horror as Damon tentatively took a step into the house, the invisible barrier preventing their entry previously now lay broken upon the witches' death, broken like the girl at their feet. _

_She watched, frozen as Damon bent down to examine the girl. Using his fingers to gently bring her blood to his lips _

_He looked up at Caroline, nodding his head. _

_Words no longer necessary as Caroline had seen the truth in his eyes._

_She had been compelled. _

They were at a dead end.

Friday

It was a Friday when Bonnie Bennett came to the realization that the pain caused by Jeremy Gilbert had left a gaping hole in her chest, it was a Sunday when Bonnie realized that her relationship with Jeremy was at a dead end.

Bonnie remembered the moment well; she had been at school putting away her calculus textbook between classes to ease the load in her backpack when Jeremy had walked by with his friends, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, too ashamed to make eye contact. Bonnie had been midway through rummaging through her locker when she had felt it, felt the change. It hit her with such a force that left her staggering, holding on tightly to her locker for support. Consuming her with dread and grief and a reality that she could no longer suppress, a reality that she could no longer ignore, it had been there all along, mocking her with its truths.

She was going to die.

Bonnie was not a martyr. She was not a hero. She was an 18 year old girl that was faced with an impossible decision and she made a choice. The only choice there was to make. She chose to save her friends. To make another choice, in her eyes, was an act of betrayal, betrayal of herself. If she was honest with herself, she would say that part of her of knew, had always known that the day would come when she would have to lay down her life, part of her long since had conceded defeat to the grim reaper.

But Bonnie believed that this did not make her a hero, did not make her a martyr, because she didn't w_ant _to die. Bonnie, like any other girl had hopes and dreams. Bonnie wanted to see the world. Wanted to see the busy streets of London, the Eiffel tower in Paris, the beautiful islands of Greece, the pyramids of Egypt, Bonnie wanted to see the world.

But she was going to die.

It was then that she realized that although Jeremy had hurt her she loved Jeremy, loved him as much as she could, Bonnie couldn't give him the one thing he wanted above everything else.

Jeremy wanted a future.

And Bonnie couldn't give him something she didn't have.

So it was a Friday when Bonnie realized her relationship with Jeremy was at a dead end.

Shaking her head slightly to clear the direction that her thoughts had taken, Bonnie slowly pushed opened the door of the Salvatore Mansion. She had come over tonight to talk to Elena about Caroline. Caroline who she had seen for all but five minutes at the grill before she had disappeared, Caroline who had no idea how to keep a secret was avoiding her which only meant one thing.

She was lying to her.

Bonnie was determined to find out why.  
Bonnie lingered in the hallway of the Salvatore mansion, hesitant to proceed any further without invitation. However the sound of raised voices soon peeked her interest, inching forward towards the closed door leading towards the living room, she moved closer to listen in.

"Are we going to go together or not?"

Bonnie rolled her eyes; she would have recognized _that _voice anywhere.

Damon.

Which meant his companion could only be one person.

Elena.

"Damon I told you, I don't want to make things uncomfortable with Stefan"

Bonnie listened to the sound of breaking glass, glancing through the crack in the door she watched as Damon threw his glass of scotch at the roaring fire before spinning to face Elena. Bonnie stifled a gasp at the look on the Vampires face.

He was hurt.

Bonnie suddenly felt like she was intruding on something personal, something that once was witnessed, would not be forgotten.

"I'm getting really sick and tired of hearing you say that Elena, he's bound to find out about us sooner or later"

Elena moved forward to take hold of his forearm but Damon pushed her back angrily, turning his face from her.

"I don't even know what 'us' means right now. I was ready to Die Damon, I was ready. And then suddenly I'm a vampire and I wake up to a world where everything is different. I don't know how to deal with this; don't you know how hard this is for me? I don't know anything anymore. All I know is that I'm c_onfused." _

Bonnie watched as Damon stilled, his shoulders stiffened. For a second Bonnie contemplated stepping in. She was felt for her friend; love had taken all her choices away.

"You're c_onfused?_ That's all you have to say to me? It's been two years Elena and I'm tired of you being c_onfused. _When are you going to make up your mind?" he asked quietly.

Bonnie had heard this tone before. Damon wasn't angry, Damon wasn't pissed.

Damon was infuriated, his rage silent, and still as the water.

Bonnie waited for Elena to respond, waited for her to say something to ease the volatile Salvatore Brother back into his cave, waited for her to say the right thing to soothe his rage. Bonnie often marveled at her friend's ability to not only reign in Damon, but also her ability to be the only one who saw something in Damon Salvatore that was worth fighting for. But Elena said nothing.

"Do you enjoy seeing us like this? Enjoy watching us tear each other apart over who is going to have you? Don't you know how hard this is for me? He's my _brother _Elena"

Tuesday

It was a Tuesday when Bonnie Bennett felt something _change_, felt something inside her tear in two. Hearing the broken tone of his voice had _shifted _something inside of her and Bonnie feared, nothing would be the same again.

It was a Tuesday when Bonnie Bennett realized that Damon's relationship with Elena was at a dead end and although he would heal, she knew he would never be what he once was.


	12. They lived happily ever after

**Chapter 12: They all lived happily every after **

"_Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."_

Elena Gilbert always wanted to be a princess.

She remembered being seven years old and racing around her bedroom in a lacey blue dress that trailed behind her. She wore her head in long braids, long like Rapunzel, her eyes alight with joy and mirth as she pranced around in her imaginary kingdom in her imaginary crown knighting knights, attending grand balls, dancing in the moonlight and kissing handsome princes. Elena wanted to feel what it was like to be lost in a fairy tale, a far away world with riches and gold, dragons and castles, where good triumphed over evil, and good would always prevail.

This was the life Elena wanted; she always wanted to be a princess.

But her parents had died in an accident, she had almost died and her fairy tale life style took a tragic turn. But every story had its tragedy, every story had its story of woe, a moral of the story so Elena understood, Elena persevered through impossible odds. She battled the grief of losing her parents by holding on to the light of hope, and allowed it to fill her with strength, a strength so strong it carried her through.

Elena met her prince.

She had told herself things would be different, that when she smiled it was because it was real, and when she told people she was okay, she would mean it. She had walked into school that day a new person, she was reborn.

She had met her prince.

And suddenly, Elena believed in fairy tales again.

Stefan Salvatore was her happy ending.

But things were different in this fairy tale, the prince had a brother, a handsome dangerous brother who made the princesses' heart beat quickly, that made her palms sweat, that made her feel things that she shouldn't be feeling. Suddenly it wasn't just the prince saving her from the evil queen, but it was his brother too. Things were different in this fairy tale.

Elena had always wanted to be a princess, a kind hearted princess who saved her people and her townsfolk, who made sacrifices for the greater good, who made sacrifices for the people she cared about. Elena always wanted to be a princess because she always believed that she was one. It was a role she had recognized and taken as her own.

But things were different in this fairy tale; the prince was _different _and had bought with him a darkness that threatened to swallow her kingdom, he came with consequences, compromises and confusion and making all wonder whether good would overcome evil.

This fairy tale was different; it made her question things.

Maybe she was the evil queen all along.

Evil queen or not Elena felt like a princess tonight. She took in the school gym that had transformed itself into a Cinderella themed ball, the blue and white streamers hung off the side rails giving an airy feeling to the night. The white balloons hung up on the ceiling awaiting the moment the king and queen were announced before they would be released. The ground had been replaced with plush red carpet that made you feel like you were walking on air. Elena had to hand it to Caroline Forbes, she knew how to throw a party.

Elena felt someone tugging her close; she looked up to admire her date in a tux.

He was beautiful.

In Elena's eyes, Damon Salvatore was the definition of beauty. He was clean cut with asymmetrical features. He had beautiful dark hair that she knew for a fact was soft to the touch. But most of all, his beautiful blue eyes which stared at you making you feel insignificant, like you were nothing but a speck of dust beneath a pebble. His gaze was intimidating.

The dangerous brother of the prince smiled down at her, invoking a fire within her veins spreading throughout the young vampire's body. If she was to live out the days of eternity she would never forget the feeling he gave her, like she was desert at the last supper.

"I have to say you clean up well" she whispered softly, glancing around in hopes of catching sight of her friends.

"What can I say, I aim to please?" he replied taking her hand

Elena laughed quietly letting him lead her across the gymnasium to the dance floor. She had initially been skeptical about accepting his offer of being her date for the dance in fear of hurting the younger Salvatore, however being in Damon's arms was making it difficult as to why she had thought it was a bad idea in the first place.

Clinging to his shoulders she felt him swing her around the dance floor, giggling at each dramatic dip and twirl.

She felt like a princess.

"Did I mention how absolutely delightful you look this evening" Damon whispered in her ear as he tugged her closer.

Elena felt her dead heart flutter.

"You may have repeated it a few times on the way over here"

Damon laughed loudly "Well I would have repeated myself some more if we hadn't been busy _repeatedly _doing other things" he retorted with a smirk she had come to love

"Damon, come on someone might hear you" Elena looked around quickly, noticing the absent faces of her friends. She smiled nervously at a young couple dancing close by.

She felt Damon stiffen in her arms "Who cares if they hear us, do you think I care what your simple minded friends think?" he replied angrily

"I'm sure you care what your brother thinks"

Damon stilled in mid-twirl to stare at her. She knew it would make him angry but she couldn't help herself, she had to say it.

She loved Damon, she knew it every time he looked at her with those eyes. Every time he walked into the room and she felt like she would die if he didn't touch her, if he didn't look at her, if he didn't kiss her. She knew she loved him every time he put it all on the line for her, in his selfishness, in his anger, in his happiness. She loved _all of him. _She loved all the ugly and the broken pieces that made Damon Salvatore. She knew that if given the chance, she would gladly spend eternity gluing him back together. Elena Gilbert had fallen in love with Damon.

But loving Damon meant _knowing _Damon and she knew him. Knew that he would sacrifice it all if it meant she would live, she knew he would sacrifice the lives of the entire town if it meant she would live. She also knew that there was only one person that Damon loved just as much as her, if not _more_.

His brother.

He would never admit it. Never admit that when Stefan had walked out of Mystic falls with Klaus to save his life that Stefan had not only walked away with a piece of Elena's heart, he had walked away with a piece of Damon's too.

He would never admit that the thought of losing his brother had filled him with a terror so strong that Elena feared she would lose him too. He would never admit that Stefan saving him time and time again made him feel alive made him feel like he was worth saving. Damon would never admit that he stayed awake for three months hunting down any possible leads on his brother, never giving hope. There were days she had given up hope, the days she had convinced herself that it was time to let him go, it was on those days that she had looked to Damon, looked at his face and realized that no matter what, Damon would never be able to let go. There would never be any closure for him.

Damon would never admit that He valued Stefan's life above all else, including her own.

She knew it would make him angry, but she had to say it.

"My brother has an eternity to lick his wounds and get over it"

"I thought we agreed that we would take this at my pace, let things develop naturally, slowly"

Elena glanced up at the Damon, his jaw clenched tightly. "You can't hide it forever" he replied through gritted teeth.

Elena sighed. He was right. She couldn't hide it forever.

Just like she couldn't hide the fact that although she loved Damon, she loved Stefan too

"I'm not trying to hide it, I'm just saying we should take things slowly" she replied lamely

"I'm going to find something to drink" he pushed her back slowly, disappearing into the crowd of students. Elena glanced at her watch, it was 8.30 pm.

At least Cinderella had till midnight.

Caroline hated fairy tales.

Sure, she enjoyed the Walt Disney versions of Snow white and the seven dwarfs and had entertained a fantasy or two about what it would be like to be a princess living in a castle. But overall, Caroline didn't believe fairy tales.

She had been nine years old when her mother had told her about a fairy tale, a fairy tale about a small town girl who met a young man who was her prince charming. She fell in love quickly and hard and gave up everything to be with this man. She gave up going away to college, gave up traveling the world, gave up her dreams so she could be with her prince, so she could raise a family with her prince.

But her Prince charming broke her heart and the young girl was devastated.

Caroline had looked into her mother's eyes and seen the young girl and realized this wasn't just a story, it was her story. Caroline learned that day that fairy tales were just make believe, a girl did not awaken from a comma by a simple kiss, a girl dressed in rags could not go to the ball and fall in love all in one night.

Caroline had learned that happy endings only happened in fairy tales.

So Caroline stopped believing.

"You look ravishing"

Every fairy tale had a princess, every fairy tale had a prince, Caroline wondered which version contained a vampire/werewolf hybrid?

She allowed herself a second to take in Klaus Mikaelson. She had long concluded that he was a handsome man, his blonde curls giving him a boyish look, his blue eyes which more often than none were sparkling with mirth, his broad shoulders that kept him standing tall. The golden nature of his built made it hard to look at him. He was light, everywhere she looked, bright and blonde, an angel.

A fallen angel.

She hated herself for it but.

Yes, Klaus Mikaelson was a handsome man.

"Aren't you a little old for high school dances?" she replied, pouring herself a glass of punch while simultaneously glancing at the blonde hybrid from the corner of her eye.

Klaus was smiling widely she noted.

"Yes but I heard you were going to be here so I couldn't resist" he retorted charmingly.

Caroline rolled herself, resisting a small smile at his persistence.

"When are you going to give up?" she asked amused, she turned to face him giving him her full attention. Klaus shrugged nonchalantly moving to stand next to her, invading her personal space he reached around her to pour himself a drink

"I've been alive for a thousand years; I've got time love so continue pretending like I don't intrigue you"

Caroline wanted to strangle him. Clenching her hand around the glass she was embarrassed, she took a shallow breath, calming herself before replying.

"Is this what you do? Hang around girls until they get sick of it and just give in?" she snapped masking her embarrassment with anger.

"I don't usually have to wait long"

Caroline felt the sudden need lash out, to hurt.

"Is that how you got her to fall in love with you? Well I assure you, I'm nothing like her"

She watched carefully as his demeanor changed. She watched as the flirty banter fell away, watched as the fallen angel gave a sneak preview of the monster beneath the surface.

Caroline wondered what kind of woman Arianna Bennett was. Since learning of her existence she had spent many nights contemplating how she wormed her way underneath his skin, how she found a way into his heart. She wondered if he had allowed her in with ease or fought her every step of the way. What kind of woman could claim the heart of Niklaus Mikaelson with such extremity and then torment him with her memory.

Caroline wondered what Arianna Bennett would think of him now, what she would say to the monster he had become. Would she look upon him and tremble in fear? Would she take him in her arms and apologize to the monster she had a hand in creating?

Would she find anything left in him to love?

Klaus's eyes hardened.

"You talk about a lot of things you don't understand Caroline"

She wanted to push him, make him angry. She wanted to know more, suddenly greedy for information.

"Oh I understand, I understand that every word that comes out of your mouth is a lie. I understand that you compelled a young witch to kill herself just so she wouldn't answer a few questions. I understand that you don't value the life of anyone." She replied.

All pretenses of civility falling away

Klaus's eyes clouded in confusion

"I don't know about what witch you are referring to love, but I'm afraid you don't understand anything. You're a child, barely out of diapers. You don't know anything of the world and how can you? You're still in love with this town. Still trying to be the girl that once was. You'll make it a whole lot easier on yourself if you dropped the charade and gave in to what you now are."

Caroline growled under her breath.

"Maybe I don't understand and maybe I haven't seen the world. But I'll circle this earth a thousand times over if it means finding her and saving Bonnies life"

"You can keep looking, you can waste the next twenty years of Bonnie's life looking for her until you come to the same conclusion I did a long time ago. You won't find her because she doesn't want to be found"

Caroline felt her insides burn in rage.

Klaus tilted his head slightly, studying her intently

"Also last time I checked, Bonnie Bennett didn't want to be saved. Perhaps love it's time to re-evaluate your reasons for wanting to save her"

Caroline froze.

"What does that mean?" she asked slowly

"You know exactly what I mean, the real reason you want to save her is because you're selfish Caroline. You want to save Bonnie for yourself. You want to save her so you won't be alone"

Caroline felt her chest constrict in pain.

He was right. She _was_ selfish.

Caroline loved Bonnie, but not for what she gave her, but for what _she_ was. It was never about what she was getting from her, but rather what she was giving to _her. _

Caroline loved Bonnie. She didn't want to be alone.

Selfish love.

"So what if I am? I'm not going to feel guilty about wanting to save the life of the person i care about most"

Klaus smiled at her admission.

"I'll let you in on a little secret. I've come to realize that there are some people the universe seems to single out for special destinies, special favors and special torments. It's hard to recognize that person, especially when they wear the face of a friend"

Reading between the lines his message was clear.

Some people couldn't be saved. Couldn't be fixed, or if they can be fixed, it's only by a sacrifice so great that it destroys the giver.

"Fate is never fair love. You're caught in current much stronger than you are, struggle against it and you'll drown, not just yourself but all those who you care about. You only have one choice, to swim with it"

Klaus turned to walk away only to hesitate last minute. He turned to look at her, his eyes heavy with his gaze.

Caroline was reminded of just how long he had been around, how long he had walked this earth.

He looked old.

"You were right. You're nothing like her Caroline. She didn't know how to be selfish."

Every fairy tale had a prince, a princess, an evil queen and a moral at the end of every story. Every princess had their happy ending, every evil queen perished at the hand of good.

But fairy tales didn't exist in Mystic falls. Mystic falls didn't have happy endings.

The prince had succumbed to darkness and fled the kingdom, the princess had fallen from her tower and had run off with his brother, and the big bad wolf was huffing and puffing at her door.

But most of all Caroline had learned that every fairy tale teaches you a lesson. Thinking back on the wicked witches, the evil queens, the mad enchantresses, the alluring sirens, the hungry ogresses, the savage she-beasts, as you thought of them of them you remembered that somewhere, sometime, they'd all been real.

And who was to say that fairy tales and nightmares weren't as real as the here and now?


	13. Give him a mask, he will tell the truth

**Chapter 13: Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth**

"_Tell me your convoluted stories through half-rotten mouth,__I will decipher them, to tell the world of your heart,__how beautiful things can come from the dark"_

She had always been afraid of the dark.

Bonnie Bennett was five years old when she realized that bad things happened in the dark, bad, horrible and ugly things. She was five years old when she realized that all the light in the world would not be able to drown out the darkness of her bedroom at night, would not be able to drown out the darkness of her nightmares.

Bad things happened in the dark, bad things happened to _her _in the dark.

She saw things. Every night since she could remember Bonnie Bennett would go to bed with a weight on her chest, every night she would go to bed knowing that it would happen _again. _

Every night since she could remember she would see them _burning._

Alone and submerged in the dark, the only light provided was the blinding light of a fire so strong, she felt the heat burn her insides. She smelt the charring scent of burning flesh that consumed her senses. But it was the screams that kept her awake at night, the screams of women, begging for relief, begging for death, begging to end it all.

She heard the screams of her ancestors, her lineage, her blood. The curse of the Bennett witches.

They never told you something's. There was no guide on how to be a witch, no one to tell you what to do, and no one to tell you what _not _to do. What they d_id _tell you is that you have been blessed with wonderful power, the power to protect all the people you care about, the power of nature at your finger tips. You were told that you were a servant of nature.

What they _did _tell you was every single stumble, every challenge, every experience in your life was only intended for one purpose: to bring you back to your origin, nature. Every loss, every win, every beauty, every fall, and every cruelty was only intended to unveil another barrier between you and the earth, between you and where you once began, and where you are desperately seeking to return.

Then there were the things they didn't tell you, that the wonderful power, the power of nature comes with a price. The wonderful power taught you many secrets.

But no one ever tells you that there are some secrets that you don't ever want to learn

But in time Bonnie had learned to deal with the nightmares, accepting it as part of her. She had learned that all she could do was learn good to balance the bad in life. Learn and do all the good within your reach, then when she awoke in a sweat, she had something to set against the nightmare.

She always had a _reason _to be afraid of the dark.

Her night couldn't get any worse.

She had succumbed to the whimpering pleas of Caroline who had insisted that she attend the Mystic Falls dance that she had spent days organizing and fretting over. Bonnie had argued that they didn't exactly have a great track record of high school dances and opted to stay home instead. However, Caroline was not deterred and had unleashed the full power of the 'Caroline guilt trip'. So despite her reservations Bonnie had surrendered to the power of Caroline's pout and dusted off her heels and shown up with a smile to boot. She was determined to shake off the ill feeling she had awakened with, the cold sweat that gathered at the back of her neck, the raw electricity dancing beneath her palms.

Her smile had barely made it through the front door before it encountered Jeremy Gilbert.

_Bonnie was running._

_Blinded by tears, she hurriedly made her way through the crowd, pushing pass couples on the dance floor. She had to get out._

_He had punched a hole through her heart leaving her bleeding on the floor._

_She could feel him pursuing her through the sea of people, bellowing her name over the sound of music. She had to get out. _

_She crashed into a young couple who had stopped at the refreshment table for a glass of punch; she felt the cool sensation of tropical punch make contact with her chiffon dress. Stopping momentarily she looked down as the red liquid seeped into her dress leaving a crimson red stain on her stomach. She could vaguely hear the young couple begin to apologies profusely, but she could not respond. Could not apologize for running into them, could not hear them, could not do anything except stare down at her dress._

_Blood. _

_It looked like blood. Her blood. _

_She ran. _

_She didn't look back, didn't stop running until she was swallowed up by the darkness of the night. _

Her night couldn't get any worse.

She walked across the grass headed towards the parking lot; rubbing a paper towel against her abdomen she tried to remove the red stain with frenzy whilst cursing herself for wearing a white dress. Stumbling across the grass in her heels, she rushed to get to her car. She was right. They _had _a bad track record when it came to dances however this time there was no supernatural emergency that had ruined the night, no spell that needed doing, no damsel in distress that needed saving.

Just ghosts from the past.

She fumbled around in her purse looking for her keys, yelping in success she pulled out her car keys she crossed across the lot making a beeline for her silver prius until she spotted _him. _He lay on the hood of his blue camero , lounging over the windshield with his hands behind his head staring up at the sky

Damon.

She was conflicted.

She knew approaching Damon Salvatore on any day was not a good idea, she knew approaching Damon Salvatore when he was in a good mood was never a good idea, and she knew approaching Damon Salvatore when he was obviously in a _bad _mood was downright suicidal.

When she was young her Grams had warned her never to touch hot wax from a burning candle in fear of being burnt. Bonnie being the curious young girl she was had not heeded her grandmothers warning and had burned herself many times because of it.

Her Grams had always warned her, don't touch things that burned.

Something told her Damon burned hotter than any candle.

"_Don't you know how hard this is for me? He's my brother Elena"_

She was conflicted. Something had shifted inside of her _that night _and she knew she would never be what she once was.

Swallowing her discomfort she dropped the paper towel to the ground, she walked over to the blue camero hesitantly, her palms slick with sweat, breathing slowly she fought her hammering heart, begging her body to not betray her.

She reached the edge of his car, she waited awkwardly for a moment before folding her arms and leaning cautiously against his front door, she looked up at him only to find him staring back at her.

Bonnie shifted beneath the intensity of his gaze.

"I guess I'm not the only one that's not in the mood to party tonight" she said lightly in an attempt to break the silence.

Damon stared at her before rolling his eyes slowly, turning back to stare at the night sky.

"I'm not in the mood for company either, present company included" he replied dryly.

Bonnie felt the sting of his reply hit her in the face.

She had made a mistake.

Shaking her head in disappointment she pushed herself off the side of his car and turned to walk away.

"What's got you stumbling around in the dark anyway, Baby Gilbert playing footsie with Casper again?"

For a brief second she had forgotten.

She had forgotten how talented Damon Salvatore was when he was at hitting you where it hurt most.

She turned to look at him.

"Probably the same reason that's got you wallowing in self pity like a poor imitation of Edward Cullen"

She watched the corners of his lips lift slightly in amusement.

She had almost made him smile.

"What do you say about starting a support group, one Gilbert punching bag to another?"

Bonnie forgot how to breathe.

There were some people who could hear you speak a thousand words, and still not understand you. And there were others who will understand without you speaking a word**.**

But Bonnie understood, she understood that the heart wasn't strong. The heart was a vulnerable tool that was fragile to the touch. Bonnie understood that Elena Gilbert had taken ownership of Damon Salvatore's heart. Bonnie understood that even if he was to ask for all the pieces back, he would never truly belong to himself.

Bonnie understood that in the darkness, there were monsters, monsters you couldn't see because it wore the face of someone you loved. She understood. She understood that you couldn't use logic and reason to defeat these monsters in the dark because these monsters, they were _real _and the only way to defeat them was to be the bigger monster.

Bonnie stared at Damon.

Damon had been forced to be the bigger monster.

"Gilbert fans should stick together huh?" she joked softly.

He lifted his head slightly, regarding her thoughtfully before dropping his head back

"Yeah they should, maybe share a few tips"

She didn't like to see him like this.

Damon Salvatore, strong, argumentative, callous, arrogant, cruel, he had been a _constant_ in her life, something she could rely on to stay the same.

She didn't like to see him like this. Subdued and torn apart like a broken toy.

Retracing her steps she walked over to him.

"I'm afraid you're asking the wrong person for Gilbert advice, I can't even face him without walking away like a coward" she replied sadly.

Damon sat up slightly, leaning on his elbows.

"You're the bravest person I know" he said hesitantly

Bonnie felt her chest tighten in response, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She was sure he could hear it, she was sure he could feel the blood rushing to her head making her feel faint and dizzy, she clutched the side of the car tightly.

She had expected him to laugh, had expected him to call her pathetic.

She hadn't been expecting him to say _that._

Squinting up at him she found herself cursing the dark for masking his face from her sight making it impossible to read his expression.

"I'm not brave Damon, I'm afraid just like everyone else" she replied, her voice shaking unsteadily.

The darkness filled with the sound of his laughter.

"You're afraid? Good to know. I was beginning to wonder if you felt anything at all"

Ouch.

Bonnie felt the familiar churning of annoyance within her veins.

"I'm human, of course I'm afraid. I'm not brave for walking away from Jeremy; it just means I'm a coward"

"No it just means you're not stupid. You walked away because there was nothing left"

He turned his head to look at her; she felt the heat of his gaze looking _through _her.

Bonnie felt her throat constrict uncomfortably, it hurt to breathe.

"I know a dead end when I see one" she whispered

The double meaning was not lost on either of them, and she knew it.

"You make it look so easy judgy, to cut your losses and walk away"

She could hear the disdain in his tone; she knew he didn't appreciate her implication. The broken toy was still tinkering away, still standing on one leg.

"If I can do it why can't you?" she asked quietly

He was wrong. It hadn't been easy.

Walking away from Jeremy meant she had to sabotage her own happiness. She was a victim of her own choice. She was forced to become an assassin when it came to her own happiness.

It hadn't been easy. It had changed her and she no longer recognized herself.

"Because I don't want to"

His admission hung in the air.

She had walked away from Jeremy because it didn't matter how much she loved him, didn't matter what kind of future she envisioned. Sometimes life had a way of showing you exactly what you need, reminding you that every now and then people did things they couldn't take back.

But Damon couldn't walk away, not without realizing that the world could not break him, unless he gave it permission to and not without realizing that _Elena _could not own him, unless he handed her the keys.

Damon couldn't walk away, _not_ without realizing that the very thing he loved had become the cause of his greatest pain.

She didn't know what to say.

She watched as Damon slid off the hood of his car, landing gracefully to his feet he stood in front of her, the darkness of the night hiding his face.

"I asked you once if you were willing to put it all on the line to save Elena's life, whether you were willing to do whatever it takes"

Bonnie frowned in confusion at the sudden change in conversation

"And I told you I would; I told you I will always do whatever it takes to make sure Elena comes out of this in one piece"

Damon stood silently, mulling over her response.

"I never asked you why" he replied quietly

Bonnie bit her lip; she didn't understand what had possessed him to ask her that.

She didn't understand why he would care.

"She's my friend Damon"

She the outline of his body stiffen, she knew her answer hadn't satisfied him.

"She's everyone's friend, but why is it that you're the only one willing to put their head on a platter?"

Bonnie didn't understand. Didn't understand what he wanted to hear.

"Because I have the power to save her Damon, because she's the glue that keeps us all together, the glue that keeps us moving, breathing, that keeps us _alive. I_'m saving her so Matt doesn't have to lose the girl he once fell in love with, I'm saving her so Caroline doesn't have to lose her best friend, I'm saving her so Jeremy doesn't have to lose the only family he's got, so Stefan doesn't lose the love of his life, so I don't have to lose someone else I care about"

Breathing deeply she took a step closer to him, watching as he looked down at her in suspicion. She knew he could see her clearly, knew that he could see every blemish of her skin, every crease, every frown. She knew the darkness did not offer her the power of concealment that it offered him.

"I'm also saving her for you, saving her so you don't lose the girl you're in love with. So you don't lose the girl that makes you wake up every morning and _try _to be a better person. I'm saving her for us all so we don't have to live in a world where she doesn't exist"

Bonnie yearned for sunrise, for some light, something that would allow her to see his face. She knew she had left him speechless, she could _feel _it. She felt it in the way his body stood still without drawing in breath; she felt it in the way his shoulders had stiffened at her response and had yet to ease up.

Bonnie wished for light, wished to know what he was thinking. Wished he would move or say something.

Instead he reached over, holding out his palm face up.

"Dance with me" he stated simply

For the second time that night Bonnie forgot how to breathe.

Looking around slightly she had forgotten that they stood in a parking lot that was loaded with the cars of people she knew and cared about, the cars of her friends, friends she had ignored all night.

Caroline was going to kill her.

She looked over at his out-stretched hand watching it guardedly

"What are you doing?" she asked, unable to mask the suspicion in her tone.

"I'm asking you to dance" he answered simply

The broken toy was powering on through, surviving on near dead batteries.

Hell had frozen over; somewhere pigs were flying and her Grams was turning in her grave.

She reached over slowly, marveling at how small her hand was in comparison to his. She felt the coolness of his touch as her palm rested in his hand. Staring down at their hands she waited for the feeling of death to overcome her, waited for her senses to be overwhelmed by pain and darkness that often came with touching a vampire.

She felt nothing except for the tingling sensation that had erupted in her palms and was slowly making its way through out the rest of her body.

Grasping her hand firmly in his own he pulled to the middle of the parking lot where they stood still for a second, listening to the faint hum of music coming from inside the gym.

Bonnie couldn't move, couldn't force her body to cooperate.

She watched silently as Damon raised her hands to his shoulders letting them rest there before placing his own hands on her hips drawing her in close.

Bonnie didn't know where to look, she reminded herself to breathe. She looked up at him slightly only to find him staring ahead, lost in his thoughts.

She felt his hands tighten on her hips as they swayed from side to side to the echoes of music.

"She doesn't deserve you" he murmured softly

Bonnie was sure he hadn't intended on her to hear that.

Bonnie was sure he hadn't expected her to respond either.

"Ditto"

She had always been afraid of the dark.

She had always believed that bad things happened in the dark.

But what Bonnie hadn't realized that while too much darkness could kill, too much light could blind. She hadn't realized that it was only when she was lost in the darkness that she was able to seek out the stars and it was those stars that would lead her back home.

She had always been afraid of the dark.

Until she remembered.

Remembered that the darkness of night precedes the dawn. And as long as your heart still beats, it is not the death of it. You don't have to die in the dark. Sometimes, the darkness of the ocean floor is only a stop on the journey. And it is when you are at this lowest point, only when you are surrounded by a darkness so deafening that it leaves you breathless that you are faced with a choice. You can stay there at the bottom, until you drown. Or you can gather pearls and rise back up stronger from the swim and richer from the jewels.

She had always been afraid until she remembered that beautiful things can come from the dark.


	14. What you remember saves you

**Chapter 14: What you remember saves you**

"_There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well."__  
_

His memories had not faded.

He remembered being six years old and falling out of an apple tree in the orchard, breaking his arm and the blinding pain that left him breathless as his bone broke in two. He remembered laying in the fields for hours staring up at the sky wondering if his mother was looking down on him, if the raindrops that fell were consequently her tears, her tears for him.

He remembered the rain that battered down on him relentlessly swallowing him whole.

But one memory stood out amongst the rest.

The feeling of a warm body holding him close, pulling him up by the shoulders, covering him in a cloak and lifting him into their arms, he remembered looking up at the heavens and thanking his mother for saving him.

But his mother did not save him, did not shed a tear for him. She did not weep, for she was not there.

The heavens had not saved him, had not sent down an angel from their battalion to lead him to safety. His angel was human, his angel had blood running through his veins, a beating heart, vivid blue eyes, and his angel was his kin.

Stefan remembered staring up at his brother as he whispered in his ear, telling him he was going to be okay, telling him that he was going to save him.

He was always trying to save him.

He remembered the fever that burned through him that night, the fever that tore him apart on the inside, drying him up, leaving him with no flesh on his bones. He remembered the fever that burned through him, the same fever that burned through his mother. He recalled the anguish of his angel, recalled the anguish as if it was his own. He choked on his brother's grief as he clung to him that night. His brothers had grief anchored him, keeping him still, tied to this earth. His brother's grief had kept him breathing, pushing through the fire within his veins and through the waning of his strength.

His brother's grief reminded him of what he was leaving behind, who he was leaving behind.

A brother

A brother, who worried too much, cared too much and loved too much. A brother who ran to his side as he cried in fear of the darkness, cried for their father, for their poor dead mother. A brother whose shadow he had never lived in, a brother whose glow he had flourished in.

Damon had cried. He cried until there was nothing left in him and Stefan cried with him. Cried for his brother, his brother who had seen too much but experienced too little, he cried for his brother who suffered at the hands of a father who no longer knew how to love.

There were some memories that never faded.

And then there were some, some we wished with all our hearts that would fade away. But No matter how much time passed, no matter what took place in the interim, there were some things that we could never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away.

He remembered meeting Katherine Pierce for the first time.

He recalled the light in her eyes each time she laughed merrily at something he said, the narrow shape of her hips as she walked from one end of the room to the other and the sweet pout of her lips when she was denied something she desperately craved. He remembered the fire that had ignited in the pit of his stomach at the very thought of her and the way his eyes had followed her every move.

He remembered loving her. Loving her so much he could not breathe.

Colors seemed brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seemed part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn't exist at all. He opened up his heart knowing that there was a chance it may be broken one day and in opening his heart, he experienced a love and joy that he never dreamed possible. He found that being vulnerable was the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure, a pleasure that was so real it scared him.

But most of all, one memory stood out amongst the rest.

He remembered choking on his brother's love.

His love for the same girl

Where Stefan cared, Damon cared more. Where Stefan hated, Damon hated more.

Where Stefan loved, Damon loved harder.

He remembered choking on his brother's love for Katherine, the same way he had choked on his brother's grief. However his brother's love was not liberating, it did not tie him to this earth. It did not ground him to this life.

His brother's love drowned him.

Left him struggling on the ocean bed without a breath, cutting off his air supply without a backward glance

But he had survived.

He had kicked and screamed, struggled and suffered, swimming his way to the top, shattering the waves with his gasping breaths.

And nothing was the same again.

"Well what is it? You sounded cryptic on the phone; the squirrels in the forest aren't rebelling against you again are they?"

Stefan groaned in irritation. He had called his brother earlier demanding to meet him at the Salvatore mansion for a much needed talk. Damon had been avoiding him lately, waking up early and leaving the house before he was awake, coming in at late hours and sneaking around without a word as to where he was going, having whispered conversations on the phone. He had believed that Stefan hadn't noticed.

Stefan had noticed.

Stefan watched as brother draped himself across the leather couch, throwing his feet onto the table. He looked like the epitome of ease and relaxation.

But Stefan knew his brother. Knew him better then Damon would ever admit.

He was up to something.

"Do you want to tell me what you've been up to lately or are we going to continue to pretend like I don't know anything"

It was Damon's turn to groan in irritation. Throwing his head back he stared at the ceiling in annoyance

"Sounds like you've been hit in the head a few too many times baby bro" Damon replied

Stefan crossed his arms, staring down at his brother.

"Damon, I know you're up to something and for some reason you have Caroline involved. I thought we agreed no more 'shady Stefan' shouldn't that mean no more 'shady Damon' either?"

Damon looked up at his brother, studying him closely.

"What if I told you that I had a plan, a plan that not only solved our Elena problem but also a plan that meant putting Klaus in his place once and for all?"

Stefan's eyes widened.

He had expected his brother to tell him he was drinking from the locals again, he had expected his brother to tell him he had been bitten by a werewolf, he had expected his brother to tell him he was leaving Mystic Falls once and for all, he had expected his brother to tell him he had found God, he had expected him to tell him he was joining One Direction, but he was not expecting his brother to tell him that.

Looking down at his brother he remembered.

He remembered being three years old and watching as the light left his mothers eyes. He remembered feeling as if all the happiness had been sucked from the world and there was nothing left but darkness.

He remembered his brother looking down at him, the look in his eyes as his brother willed him to have faith in him, willed him to believe that he would look after him, he would make it right.

Stefan had put his faith in his brother. He had trusted him to make it right.

"I would tell you that I'm in"

After spending one hundred and forty five years with his brother, Stefan believed there was nothing Damon could do that would surprise him.

He had assumed he had seen it all.

He was wrong.

"How could we have missed this? I mean if this witch actually exists why is this the first time we are hearing about her? You would think Emily would have mentioned her or something, or Sheila or any of the other Bennett's we have encountered over the years"

"Well judging by the ninety pound witch I left bleeding in Charlotte, someone really doesn't want us to know she exists"

Stefan sighed.

During his travels he had stumbled upon many witches during his time.

But there was something about Bennett witches, something that made them stand out from the ordinary witch.

Something that made him believe that they didn't belong in _this _world.

Stefan watched his brother carefully as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.

There was something he didn't understand, something that didn't make sense.

His brother was selfish.

Damon didn't do anything for the good of mankind. Damon did things for himself. Damon didn't do anything for this town, He did things for the people he cared about.

Stefan was sure it was a very short list.

"Why are you doing this Damon?" he asked suspiciously.

Damon shrugged nonchalantly

"Because I'm tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop, and that's what life is going to be like with Klaus lording over us. We need to have something on him, we need his kryptonite"

Stefan believed him.

He believed that Damon didn't enjoy being at the mercy of anyone. He believed that Damon wanted to be free of Klaus.

Stefan believed that Damon loved Elena as much as he did and would be willing to do whatever he could to put a stop to Klaus's reign.

Because when Stefan loved, Damon loved _harder. _

But there was something else.

"What if we find her and she refuses to help us, what then? We can't force her to do the spell. It doesn't work like that. You heard what the professor said, it has to be a willing sacrifice"

Stefan watched his brothers reaction carefully, watched for any break in his armor.

But there was nothing, nothing but Damon.

"Then we convince her otherwise" he replied back stoically.

Stefan frowned, he didn't understand.

"Damon, we aren't going to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. It's not right"

Damon turned to look at his brother, and for a brief second Stefan had seen it, seen it before it disappeared forever.

The choice had always been easy for Damon.

Elena's life above all, Elena's happiness above all, it was always going to be Elena. He was always going to choose _Elena. _

When Damon loved, he always loved harder.

But Stefan had seen it, seen it before it was gone forever.

Uncertainty

"Well if it comes down to which Bennett witch we're spare from being lit up like the fourth of July, I'm always going to choose _her_"

Stefan didn't understand. Didn't understand what had happened or when it had happened.

But something _had _happened.

Something _had _changed.

He felt _compelled _to ask again.

"Why are you doing this Damon?"

Stefan had looked at his brother tonight and assumed that he was the epitome of relaxation and ease. He had assumed that his brother was up to no good, he had assumed that his brother was hurting people, hurting people that _Stefan _cared about. He had assumed that Damon was selfish.

But he was wrong.

His brother was not _calm, _his brother was angry. His brother was not _relaxed; _he was pulled back, restrained and ready to attack, ready to hurt.

He watched as Damon momentarily looked at him before turning back to the fireplace, his glass long since empty resting limply in his hand.

"Because she deserves a fighting chance"

His memories had not faded.

He remembered falling out of the apple tree, he remembered a loving brother, a distant father, he remembered a life long forgotten, and he remembered a love long forgotten.

Stefan Salvatore was certain that the memory of tonight would not fade.

His brother was winter, cold, frozen and numb_. _He was also pretty colors, tricks and treats, the façade he showed the world.

Stefan knew his brother.

His brother was darkness.

But something had _happened._

Something had _changed. _

There were edges around the black and the dark and he had seen it. He had seen the flash of color that had streaked out amongst the gray.

For the second time in his extended life, Stefan Salvatore knew nothing would be the same again.

Stefan had stayed alive for years, clinging to his memories, hoping that they were nothing but a dream, a delusion. He had tried, tried to push them back into the dark, but they had come back, back to haunt him, back stronger and more vivid than ever. He recalled the days where he remembered that all there is are memories. If you face those, you'll be free. Days where he reminded himself that he could not spend the rest of his life hiding from himself; always afraid that his memories would incapacitate him, and they would if he continued to bury them.

But there had been days, days when the darkness had receded, days when he hadn't pushed, hadn't made himself forget.

Because he remembered, remembered that the only possession he owned that rightfully belonged to him _was _his memories and his memories had not left him.

His memories had not faded.


	15. I am one for mistakes

**Authors Note: Hey guys, I know I haven't been updating as often as I was at the beginning but I have had a little bit of writers block!**

**First of all, thank you to everyone who is reading this, following this and making it one of your favorite stories! You guys are the best!**

**For those of you who don't think that the plot is developing, I understand your concern and appreciate the reviews. However, i am choosing to slow down the pace of the story because I am trying to make it as believable as possible. I like a little back story and I like developing the characters so when they finally do have a Klaroline or a Bamon scene, then you can feel like you were there for the journey, or you can feel like you grew with the character. I understand some of you may not like the way I write, but I think this is important to the story. I'm sorry if you think that I'm being slow with their growth but I assure you that it's necessary.**

**I'm getting together a play list of songs for this story and wanted to ask everyone for suggestions. I need songs describing Klaroline, Bamon, Delena, Stelena etc. **

**Hope you enjoy this chapter, it wasn't my best work but I did try my best! **

**Chapter 15: I am one for mistakes **

"_We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward."_

He had made mistakes.

Had long learned not to disavow the ugly from his past as it allowed him to own what he had become without fear or shame. He had long learned to not be judgmental of his past, as it allowed him to continue on without feeling the ill effects of paralyzing regret. He had long learned that everyone made mistakes; he just made them more often than others.

_He thought the storm, the ocean, the fear, the sadness, the mistakes, the loss; the brokenness was all bad for him. But really it was only a means. It was all a vehicle to make him seek out himself. To bring him back. To bring him back to completion, to happiness, to life, and to bring him back to where he began. _

Niklaus Mikaelson made mistakes.

Evidence of those mistakes existed in the proof of choices to be learned from, evidence of wounds, wounds inflicted of mistakes, wounds he chose to allow the healing of. He chose to see them, that way he did not make the same mistake again.

Evidence of those mistakes existed in remains of blood that stained his hands, blood that he could never be rid of, in the lives that he took without remorse, in the torture he committed without a backward glance.

He had taken many lives.

Years of bloodshed merged together, the faces of his victims amalgamated together until he lost count. Lost count of how many he tore apart, how many he dismembered, and how many he bled dry. Naming and numbering them meant very little to the monster within, the monster within who desired the flesh of man and sweet blood of innocents. The monster within was not satisfied until he was drunk with blood, light headed with the feeling of playing God.

The monster within was not satisfied until it was drinking to your bones.

He had believed once, many years ago, that killing would never get easy. Draining the life from someone's body as they lay limply in your arms would never be a feeling he could allow himself to get used to. He had naively believed that there was a line, a line woven deep within him that he could not cross, a line he would not be able to cross without losing himself completely.

But he had crossed that line many years ago.

He had never looked back.

He had never looked back to gaze upon the young mother he had drained in a small village in Palermo Italy, He had not looked on to watch as her body lay forgotten for many days until finally she was stumbled upon across by a local farmer who had been traveling in the area. Klaus had ignored the cries of her children as they mourned their poor dead mother. He ignored the fact she was pregnant as he deafened himself to the heartbeat of her unborn child as he drained her dry of her life source. He had walked away and didn't look back.

Because her life had met its inevitable end, she had served her purpose.

She had quenched his thirst.

He never looked back.

He had learned that if you're going to take pity on yourself, don't kill people in the first place. Don't avert your eyes away from death, look forward, and look at the people you're killing in the face. And don't forget them; never forget, because they won't forget you.

He had been watching her.

She had emerged from Mystic Grill in a flurry of activity, her phone glued to her ear as she chatted animatedly to the person on the other line while rummaging through her handbag. The soft dialects of her laughter floating across the parking lot reaching out to him, he listened to her as she spoke words of encouragement to her young friend on the phone, her smile bright and inviting.

It was not the first time he had caught himself studying the intricate details that made up Caroline Forbes.

He had long since concluded that Caroline Forbes was a force to be reckoned with, a force that invaded your cities and tore apart your homes leaving none alive. had long since concluded that she was one of the most beautiful girls he had come across during his time on earth and had the ability to light up the room with just the hint of a smile.

But Klaus had met many beautiful women, met thousands of stunning women that rivaled Helen of Troy, which would make any man weak in the knees.

Yet there was something inherently _unbroken _about her that made all other women pale in comparison. There was something _real _about her that made him want to know all her secrets, made him want to consume like finely aged wine, made him want to bask in her glow.

There was nothing unnatural about her, what you saw was what you got.

Caroline Forbes was _real. _

While the world had done everything in its power to break her, she had persevered and risen above. She had fought through the struggle; she had fought through and retained her humanity.

He hated her for it.

He hated her brightness.

He hated her happiness, the light in her eyes when she smiled, the soft tones of her voice as she spoke to people she cared about. The fierceness of her persona when she stood up against him in defense of those she loved.

He hated her brightness.

It had leached onto him, sneaking beneath his skin like an infection invading his body without a thought for his comfort, without a thought for his consent.

She had blinded him with her brightness and he resented her for it. Hated her for looking at him, hated her for making him look back at her, hated her for questioning him and hated her for making him question himself.

He had believed that he could live in a space between love and letting go. That perhaps it would be quiet there, that he would be content. He believed that place could silence his screaming thoughts and his pounding dead heart. He believed that living there would kill his soul crushing need, would smother the brightness.

But he felt himself returning, time and time again, enduring her tongue lashes and her disapproving glares. He had done his best to seduce her into his world of fine china and fancy dinner parties. He had attempted to persuade her to see things his way, to see that there was a world outside the walls of Mystic Falls waiting for a girl like her, waiting for her to explore, to make hers.

But Caroline Forbes was not one to be enslaved.

She had proved that.

For a land could be occupied but never a soul.

Not her soul.

He had been watching her for a while.

He watched closely as she slowly became aware of his presence, sensing his steady gaze upon her. Her eyes looked at him warily before muttering a quick apology on her phone and a promise to call them back immediately; she placed her phone back in her bag turning to face him. She tucked a stray hair behind her ear. He could sense her discomfort at his sudden appearance.

"Caroline, looking as lovely as ever"

He smiled widely.

Their last meeting had not gone as well as he had hoped. He was well aware that he had not done himself any favors by letting his temper get the best of him, nor did it help that he had insulted her.

He had been hoping that she would let bygones be bygones, however judging by the severity of her glare he was starting to believe that was unlikely to happen.

"Any reason why you're skulking around in a car park watching me like some creepy stalker?" she snapped in response.

He had believed she was most stunning when she stood in defense of people she loved, fearless and brave.

But he wrong.

She was absolutely _striking _when she stood looking down at him _enraged._

His smile widened exponentially.

"On the contrary I was simply in the neighborhood when I heard the sounds of delightful laughter and I couldn't help myself as I had to know who it was coming from"

He knew how to be charming, he knew how to make women want him, how to make them swoon at his feet without the need for compulsion. He knew what they wanted to hear and what he needed to hear.

He didn't know how to make someone like _her _want him. He didn't know how to make someone like her s_woon. _

He was beginning to believe that no amount of charm would melt her icy gaze.

"Well naturally I stopped laughing as soon I realized you were in the vicinity, you do tend to suck the joy out of every situation"

Klaus laughed loudly, clapping his hands together in mirth.

"Come on love, you know that's not true. I can be quite fun if you gave me a minute of your time"

Caroline smiled sarcastically, her eyes narrowing in distaste.

"Excuse me if I don't make time for heartfelt conversations with sociopathic killers"

Klaus chuckled in amusement. While others would have been deterred by the ferocity of the young girl in front, he was rather charmed by it. It wasn't every day someone felt comfortable enough to speak so freely with him.

Usually because he ate them afterwards

"Did you not once claim that I don't connect with people because I didn't try to understand them?"

Caroline's eyes narrowed in suspicion

"Your point being?" she asked

Klaus shrugged, feigning indifference.

"Well is this not me trying to understand you?" he replied innocently.

He had her trapped.

He watched as the young girl seethed quietly, clenching her fists angrily.

She was stunning.

"Don't try to pull that on me. You don't want to understand me; you want to _use _me for whatever you have planned. You don't want to know me; you want to know what I'm up to. You don't have a genuine bone in your body"

Klaus grit his teeth in annoyance.

She was right; he did want to know what she was up to. He did want to know what she and her simpleton gang of misfits were planning. Was he above using her for information? He would have liked to say he was.

But he wasn't.

However, he also wanted to know her, wanted to speak to her, wanted to discuss art, politics, wanted to discuss whatever she desired.

It just so happened that she knew something that he needed.

It was killing two birds with one stone.

He was after all efficient.

"Come on love, why must you continuously fight me at every turn? Would it kill you to let go and enjoy yourself a little. Let yourself get to know me, I might surprise you"

He watched carefully as she frowned, her eyes darting around looking for an escape.

He was making her uncomfortable.

"Actually I can't do that, wouldn't want to be selfish now would I?" she snapped back.

Her eyes widened as if she had just let slip a great secret that she hadn't meant to, her lips parting in shock.

Klaus was stunned. He hadn't expected her to say that. He _had _expected her to respond back with a scathing remark about how immoral and disgusting he was. How he had killed people without remorse _yada yada yada._

However, he did not expect her to say that.

Her admission hung in the air, heavy with its truth.

He had hurt her feelings.

He had called her selfish.

Granted it was not his best move yet, he had shown up at the ridiculous high school dance with a plan in hand. He had intended on charming his way through her defenses into forcing her hand at a dance which perhaps could have led to a midnight walk through the school grounds. He had not intended on discussing his past, he had not intended on discussing _her. _

But Caroline had insisted, Caroline had prodded, she had poked at the monster within with tantalizing swipes that had enraged him.

The monster had demanded penance, had demanded blood.

Tilting his head to the side examining her face, he watched her carefully.

"Did what I say bother you?" he asked slowly studying her response waiting for something to give her away.

Caroline looked away subtly, avoiding eye contact.

Klaus smiled.

_Got you_

"Don't let it get to you love, it wasn't meant as an insult to your person, if I were you I would see it as a compliment"

Caroline's gaped in confusion.

"How exactly is calling me selfish a compliment and not an insult" she asked sarcastically.

The fire had returned to her eyes, her blue irises' enlarged and enraged.

Klaus shrugged nonchalantly, playing with the buttons on his jacket.

"Because I believe we are alike in this regard" he replied

Caroline froze, her fists unclenching. He watched with interest as the rage from her eyes floated away, replaced with an emotion he had yet to recognize.

"I'm nothing like you Klaus, I'm not a monster"

Klaus frowned.

"Nothing like me huh? You are willing to watch someone else take the place of your friend, willing to ask someone else to die just so you don't lose the person you care about."

He paused slowly, ensuring he had a clear view of her face.

He wanted to look at her, wanted her to look back at him.

"I on the other hand, would rather see Bonnie burn at the stake a thousand times over if it meant protecting my interests"

Shame

He had recognized the look in her eyes.

She may not want to believe that they had anything in common with the monster within him, but she could not deny the truth when it was right in front of her.

"You're wrong" she whispered

"How so?" he asked in surprise

"I wouldn't ask her to die for Bonnie. I would never ask anyone to die for someone, even if that someone is someone who I love more than anything on this planet. I would tell her about Bonnie, how beautiful she is, how kind, loving and protective she is. I would tell her about all the horrible things that happened to her, all the wonderful and horrible things that have made her who she is. I would tell her how she has lost almost everyone she cared about for the sake of others. I would tell her about Bonnie Bennett, this young girl who is at the beginning of her life"

Life had returned to Caroline Forbes.

He watched as the tears welled up behind her eyes.

Those beautiful blue eyes that less than ten minutes ago were filled with anger and rage were now filled with an ancient sadness that made dead organs inside of him ache

"I would then ask her if a thousand years was enough" she finished sadly

He had made mistakes.

He had lived a thousand years and he lived a thousand life times where he had done many wrongs and committed many sins. He had taken many lives, the lives of mothers, fathers, brothers, sons and daughters.

It did not matter to him, he did not feel the overwhelming grief that came with regret and guilt. He had felt nothing.

He believed that everyone was in the process of waking up, waking up from worlds of mistakes, waking up from the fear of making mistakes.

However Klaus could not deny that destiny's interventions could sometimes be read as an invitation to address and even surmount our biggest fears. It doesn't take a great genius to recognize that when you are pushed by circumstance to do the one thing you have always most specifically loathed and feared, this can be, at the very least, an interesting growth opportunity, an opportunity bred and raised by mistakes.

Niklaus Mikaelson had made many mistakes.

But he never looked back.


	16. Spirit of suspicion

**Authors Note:**

**Hey guys I hope you enjoy this chapter, it was really difficult to write! I just want to thank all those for reviewing and reading the story once again (CinderNella in particular! You're the best****) **

**I know some of you may not enjoy my style of writing and that's fine, each to their own! However I just want to make clear that this is the way I write and if you aren't happy with it maybe this isn't the story for you. **

**Hope you guys like this! Please review **

**Chapter 16: Spirit of suspicion **

"_Distrust is like a vicious fire that keeps going and going, even put out, it will reignite itself, devouring the good with the bad, and still feeding on empty."_

It was healthy to be a little suspicious.

Damon Salvatore concluded that in order to survive in a town full of enemies who desired to tear out your throat, one had to adapt to the situation, and adapt quickly. Damon Salvatore realized that if you wished to outlive your foes one would have to shed any traits of common decency and niceties, one would have to change who they were. In order for a 145 year old vampire like Damon to survive in a town with an enemy like Niklaus Mikaelson one would have to not only shed traits of decency and compassion, one would have to shed all remains of _humanity. _

_To beat the villain you had to be the better villain. _

It didn't help the fact he lived in a town that seemed to flirt dangerously with supernatural disasters, a town that seemed to attract death and carnage at every turn.

Most of all, Mystic Falls was a town where every new comer was not Sally Joe from New Jersey, every new comer to Mystic Falls was a _suspect. _

Case point, Professor Atticus Shane.

It was only natural that Professor Shane's arrival in Mystic Falls arose suspicion within the paranoid Salvatore. While he hadn't given the professor much thought during their first meeting at Whitmore College, however his sudden arrival in town coinciding with the attack on the council and a mysterious Vampire Hunter had alarm bells ringing.

He knew too much.

He had supposedly travelled throughout Europe, Africa, Asia and the Middle East gathering information and research on Folklore and the supernatural world.

Information he was pretty sure, wasn't available in the nearest library.

He had his own agenda.

For that, Damon could grudgingly respect him. Respect him and admire him for his deceptive behavior, for his suspicious circumstances and his vague loyalties. He had everyone second guessing his motives and waiting anxiously for what he would do next.

Damon did not enjoy being at the whimsical beck and call of a sociopathic hybrid such as Klaus and he liked it even less when he was on a need to know basis with an Academic.

If it was happening to anyone else, he would be compelled give Professor Shady pants a pat on the back and ask him to teach him everything he knew.

Aside from the fact that it was happening to him

For that, Damon wanted to feed him to the fishes.

Not only was he responsible for killing twelve of the council members (something Damon on any other day would probably thank him for) but he was also in possession of certain artifacts that were crucial pieces in the race for the cure, artifacts' he was unwilling to hand over without a fight.

What was his agenda?

Damon Salvatore had long learned that any new comer into Mystic Falls should not only be treated with caution but should also be considered a suspect.

Professor Atticus Shane had his own agenda.

He was also hiding something.

Damon had been watching him.

Damon had walked Mystic Grill with the intention of drowning himself in expensive whiskey and scotch whilst repressing the murderous thoughts he was currently having for several people in his life. He had sat down at the bar and was in the middle of his first drink when he had noticed the lone professor sitting in the far back left corner reading quietly.

His murderous thoughts that immediately been invaded by curling white hot suspicion

While Damon had every intention of ignoring him and turning back to his drink he couldn't help but to notice that Professor Shane was not there to enjoy the homey environment of Mystic Grill, judging by the way he was staring at his watch every two minutes he was evidently w_aiting _for someone.

And that someone had just walked into Mystic Falls.

It was _her. _

Professor Atticus Shane had not only come to Mystic Falls in possession of key information regarding a mysterious cure for vampirism, he was also supposedly the only one that could help with their witch problem they were currently having

They referred to it as magical therapy.

Damon referred to it as potential statutory rape.

Upon arrival into town Shane had automatically stepped into the role of _Witch Whisperer, _by attempting to mentor the young Bennett witch by helping to put her back in touch with her magic. While this was a necessary step in plan: Get-the-cure-for-vampirism-no-matter-the-cost it was also a step that had Damon suspicious, a step that had Damon wondering.

What was his agenda?

Professor Atticus Shane, who held all the pieces, who knew too much and who had gained the trust of Bonnie Bennett

He tried not to remember that night.

He had left the dance angry and disillusioned with the girl he loved, angry that she cared so much about the opinions of others, disillusioned because he had walked away from her that night believing that Elena Gilbert's love had come at a heavy price.

He had walked to the parking lot and stared at the night sky seeking answers in the constellations, answers he would not find.

Instead he had found her.

He did not understand what had possessed him to engage her in conversation, nor did he understand why he had asked the little judgmental witch to dance that night. He cared very little for her teenage angst with baby Gilbert and his appetite for the undead nor did he care for what had the witch stumbling around in the dark alone and upset. His first thought was to get rid of her so he could think in peace

But he hadn't.

Instead he had drawn her in and that night Damon had realized that perhaps there was more to Bonnie Bennett then her unwavering morals.

She had unveiled him

Unveiled him with her confession, with her humility, with her bravery

With her honesty

Bonnie Bennett was _something else. _

He watched carefully out of the corner of his eye as the witch in question walked over to the professor smiling animatedly as she quickly sat down engaging the man in conversation.

"What are you looking at?"

Damon looked up quickly to notice Matt Donavon staring at him quizzically from behind the bar

He looked suspicious.

Something Damon was sure helped keep him alive.

He had to hand it to the young human; he had a talent for staying alive when the odds weren't in his favor. In a town full of supernatural ghouls beasts and vampires staying human was a skill many didn't have.

Staying alive was the Holy Grail.

Shaking his empty glass in front of the blonde quarter back he signaled for a refill.

"Just having a drink at the local watering hole of course" he replied back with a smile.

He knew he was purposely being evasive, but he was Damon Salvatore.

He never did things the easy way.

Matt continued to eye him with caution for a second before reluctantly handing him another glass of whiskey.

Damon rose his glass in cheers while taking a subtle glance over his shoulder.

A glance that was not lost on the young bartender

"So were you able to figure out much about what the Professor is doing in Mystic Falls"

Damon shrugged in indifference before finishing his drink; he stared openly over his shoulder watching as Professor Shane huddled closely with the Bennett witch, talking in soft tones.

Too soft for him to hear

"I have yet to figure that out but something tells me he's not here for the ambiance" he replied dully.

He continued to gaze at the twosome before turning back to face the quarterback with the intention of demanding a bottle of their finest liquor before he froze.

Something smelled differently.

Blood

He dropped his glass roughly on the counter startling the young bartender; he stiffened as he struggled to recognize the scent.

He had tasted this blood before.

A mixture of sage and jasmine filled his senses as he felt the muscles of his throat tighten in thirst.

He was hungry.

"What is it?" Matt asked as he watched older Salvatore watch the room warily, his fists clenched and his shoulders pulled back with tension.

Damon prided himself on self control.

Over the years he had been faced with temptation, temptation in the form of women, temptation with greed, money, power and the ability to play God with the lives of others. He would be lying if he said part of him didn't enjoy the thrill of having the lives of others literally in his hands, the power to end a life or salvage it.

Over the years he had faced the destruction that came hand in hand with blood lust. Before he had met Sage he had despised the _need _that weakened him, the _need _that controlled him. He had despised it before he came to realize that it didn't need to control him, not unless he allowed it to.

The _need _didn't need to be despised, it needed to be embraced.

He enjoyed the taste of human blood. Denying it would be a waste of a lie. He felt no need to conform to the ways of his brother, conform to drinking the blood of animals to survive.

He stopped despising the blood lust when he stopped despising who he was.

Damon had tasted this blood before.

Looking over his shoulder he glanced in the direction of Professor Shane and his avid pupil.

It was her blood.

Pushing off the bar stool he strolled over nonchalantly well aware of the mystified quarter back he had left in his wake. He stood behind the small booth watching as the professor looked up in alarm at being interrupted, their eyes met briefly before he looked away with a smug smile.

Damon wanted to kill him.

Resisting the urge to strangle the Academic in question he turned his gaze on the young witch who he noted had not only stiffened at his approach but was now pointedly avoiding his gaze.

"Well well I see you have found the towns most happening place to be, how are you liking our humble attempt at a bar?" he asked happily

Shane laughed loudly placing the documents on the table safely back in his briefcase with ease.

"I can't say I'm much of a drinker, I'm more of an Ice tea man myself. I only came by to meet Bonnie"

Damon turned to look down at Bonnie sizing her up subtly.

He could still smell her blood.

And if he closed his eyes he could still remember the taste of her blood in the back of his throat, the taste of her blood in his mouth.

"Is there a reason why you have decided to grace us with your presence Damon?"

She was irritating.

Looking down at her he noted the tightening of her fists and the clenching of her jaw, he smiled inwardly as he realized that the feeling was very much mutual.

"Actually Judgy now that you mention it, I would like a word if you don't mind" he replied back

He decided to forgo any pretence of charm.

He had realized long ago that Bonnie Bennett found him about as charming as a wet blanket.

"I do mind actually, me and Shane were in the middle of something" she retorted angrily folding her arms in indignation.

Damon sighed

He forgot how young she was.

How young and naïve.

"Well I'm sure Professor Shane here wouldn't mind wrapping things up a little early "he replied through gritted teeth.

Turning his gaze on Shane he willed him to disagree, silently urging him to say otherwise.

He wanted a reason to kill him.

Shane however, smiled back amicably moving to get up.

"I actually have a seminar to get to so it's fine by me "

Bonnie grudgingly got up to exchange goodbyes with the professor. She watched as he smiled at the Vampire in question before turning to walk out of the bar.

Bonnie followed him with her eyes as he left the building before halfheartedly turning around to face the older Salvatore.

Damon glared at her, suddenly angry with her reluctance to face him. Angry with her reluctance to talk to him

"What's going on Damon? What was so important that you just had to interrupt what was actually turning out to be an alright day?" she asked warily.

Damon's eyes hardened.

"I smelled your blood, I wanted to make sure Professor Shady there wasn't living out any Freddy Kruger fantasies" he replied sarcastically. He waited patiently for the witches' angry denial, for her sharp refusal and her blatant distaste for all things Damon Salvatore.

He received none of the above.

Instead he watched as her eyes widened in shock before quickly facing the floor in what he could only assume was _guilt._

Something was going on.

Bonnie Bennett did not stand down from a fight. Bonnie Bennett did not stand by silently as he verbally abashed her.

Bonnie Bennett was never guilty.

Mostly because she never did anything that was remotely _bad _

"What's going on" he asked quietly

Bonnie looked up alarmed, like a deer caught in headlights. He watched half in amusement and half in confusion as her mouth opened and closed several times failing to formulate a response. Her eyes fixated on something over his shoulder.

The exit

Before he could stop her she picked up her bag quickly before making a hurried rush to the exit door panting heavily as she pushed the doors open and running outside

Damon stared after her in confusion before remembering himself and rushing after her.

He didn't understand what had just happened. Was Bonnie Bennett _running away? _

He caught her just as she was opening her front door, slamming the door close with his hand. She looked up at him in defiance her bag clutched tightly to her chest.

Refusing to look away, this was the Bonnie Bennett he knew.

He sighed in annoyance.

Annoyed by the fact he had rushed after her and she was yet to give him an answer.

"Alright Judgy, enough with the theatrics, what the hell is going on" he asked impatiently.

Bonnie stared at him tensely

"What's with the interrogation? I must have scratched myself or something"

Damon laughed merrily

"Is that why you ran out of there so fast you would think Klaus had just walked in"

Bonnie sighed loudly in what he hoped was defeat

"It's nothing seriously just drop it"

Damon wanted to drop it.

He wanted to walk away and not look back. He wanted to walk away and never ask her another question again.

He genuinely didn't care.

He genuinely didn't _want_ to care.

However he found himself looking down at her in the same way he had looked down at her that night.

_I'm saving her for you. _

He couldn't drop it.

"I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's going on and trust me; I can keep you here all night if I have to"

Bonnie pushed away from her car angrily

"What the hell do you care? The only person you care about is yourself. Oh and of course Elena. Everybody else is just a means to an end. I'm surprised you followed me out here in the first place, trying to score a few brownie points with Elena? Real pathetic Damon" she said coldly

Damon felt an itch.

An itch to rip her tongue out

An itch to tear out her throat

Suppressing his urge to _kill kill kill he_ glared at the young witch.

"Oh that's rich coming from you. Tell me Bonnie, do you think if you hang around Mystic Grill enough like a desperate stalker he will come running back to you?"

Her eyes widened.

He knew what to do to get a response.

He knew which buttons to press that made Bonnie Bennett squeal like a pig being led to the slaughter house.

"What do you know about love Damon? Everybody you have claimed to love has loved your brother better then you, loved him _more _then you"

He had to give credit where credit was due.

Bonnie Bennett was good.

"I think I would say between the two of us I know a thing or two about love. Just ask Elena"

He watched as Bonnie threw her head back in laughter.

He didn't like the sound of her laugh.

It wasn't joyful, it wasn't happy.

It was bitter to the taste.

"If your love for something makes us willing to give up our family, our dignity, our self respect and our sanity, you should know that isn't love and that doesn't mean you're in love Damon. It means you're a slave"

Before he knew what he was doing he had her pinned to the side of her car. His hand wrapped around her throat as he squeezed her windpipe beneath his fingers. He stared down at her, his eyes ablaze with anger.

He wanted to _hurt _her.

"Listen here you little judgmental bitch, you don't know anything about love. Your pathetic boyfriend preferred the company of ghosts rather than spend an agonizing moment speaking to you. What does that say about you? I'll tell you what it says. It says no one wants you. It says you're _nothing. _And after you die Bonnie Bennett, you'll still be _nothing_"

He pushed her back roughly against her door watching for a brief second as she fell to her knees clutching her neck with both hands as she gasped for breath.

He walked away.

It was healthy to be suspicious

Damon Salvatore believed that In order for a Vampire to survive in a town full of enemies, in a town full of people who wanted to tear out your throat one had to adapt, and adapt quickly.

One not only had to adapt to the threat of an enemy but also to the olive branch of an ally.

And the threat posed by your own motives.

It was healthy to be suspicious

Damon Salvatore believed that when you are a child, there is joy. There is laughter. And most of all, there is trust. Trust in your fellows. However when you are an adult then comes suspicion, hatred, and fear. If children ran the world, it would be a place of eternal bliss and cheer.

Eternal innocence

But the world is run by Adults; and there is war, and enmity, and destruction unending.

And Mystic Falls was run by neither children nor adults.

Mystic Falls was run by the suspicion within us all.

Devouring the good with the bad


	17. My burden is my purpose

**Chapter 17: My burden is my purpose **

"_Desire is the key to motivation, but its determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek."_

It didn't matter what she lost.

It didn't matter how many lies she told or how many people felt betrayed in the process. It didn't matter how many people she would have to _hurt_ in order to get what she wanted.

Caroline Forbes was going to do whatever it took to ensure that Bonnie Bennett came out of this alive.

"_We've been over this a million times! We can't just go around asking any random witch questions about a mysterious Bennett witch that no one knows existed considering what happened last time or have you forgotten the asphyxiating witch laying at our feet?"_

_For the hundredth time that day, she questioned her sanity for working with Damon Salvatore._

_Caroline had rushed over to the Salvatore mansion that morning with the intention of coming with another plan to hunt down the immortal Bennett witch. While their last attempt at finding her had come to a blood end-literally- they had yet to come up with any substantial lead. _

_Time was running out and her last meeting with the hybrid weighed heavily on her mind. _

_He was so sure Bonnie was going to die. _

_He was so sure that no matter what she did to stop it, no matter how much she tried, Bonnie would a violent end._

_Time was running out and Caroline was beginning to feel the panic beginning creep into her veins._

_Time was running out. _

"_Well what do you propose we do Damon since you seem to have all the answers" she snapped in retaliation._

_Upon arrival at the Salvatore mansion the eldest Salvatore had contributed nothing but sarcasm and disdain. _

_He was drinking before noon._

"_I propose we don't go off half cocked and get ourselves killed that's what I propose. Unless of course you're feeling suicidal then by all means go ahead"_

_She watched in awe as he downed his drink in one quick motion throwing her a dirty look in the process_

"_Didn't peg you as a coward" she replied angrily._

_Maybe she had a mistake._

_Maybe Damon wasn't the best person to help her with this. _

"_Watch it Blondie. All I'm saying is that we need to be smarter than this so don't get your panties in a twist" _

_Caroline groaned dropping onto the arm chair in the Salvatore living room. _

_He was drunk before noon._

_He was rude, manipulative and an egomaniac._

_But he was right._

_She needed to stay alive; she needed to be one step ahead, she needed to be strong._

_For Bonnie _

"_Well it's not like we can do nothing, the longer we wait the longer we risk Klaus finding her before us. Besides it's not like an answer is going to miraculously appear out of nowhere on our doorstep" _

_She froze into silence as she was interrupted by the loud thumping of the front door. _

_It was a coincidence she was sure._

_An eerie ironic coincidence _

_She turned to look at Damon who shrugged in response indicating that he hadn't been expecting anyone. _

_It wasn't easy keeping her alliance with Damon a secret from her friends. While it comforted her in a way knowing that Stefan knew the truth, she felt sick to her stomach knowing she was lying to her best friends. _

_However it was a necessary sacrifice. _

_She watched silently as Damon slowly made his way to the front door. _

_She had expected to see Elena; she had expected to see Matt._

_She had expected to see Britney Spears wearing a tutu._

_But she wasn't expecting Satan. _

_She wasn't expecting to see Katherine Pierce. _

_Damon taking one look at the arrival on his doorstep moved quickly to shut the door before he was rudely blocked by the devil herself. _

_Caroline sensing things were about escalate quickly joined Damon in the foyer staring directly at the woman who had in way or another caused pain and carnage in the lives of the people she cared about she glanced up at Damon out of the corner of her eye to note he hadn't taken his eyes off their unwanted guest._

_It was still hard to look at her._

_Looking at Katherine Pierce also meant looking at the woman who had put an end to her human life. Her last memories of being a human revolved around the woman standing in front of her in skin tight denim jeans a blue halter top. _

_It was hard to look at her without thinking of her friend. _

_She hated her smile. _

"_What the hell are you doing here Katherine? I thought you would have been on the other side of the world by now" Damon asked heatedly not taking his eyes off her as he gazed at her intently with suspicion. _

_Katherine smiled in response leaning against the doorframe with grace._

"_Well I couldn't help myself. I know what you're looking for or better yet whom. You have five seconds to decide whether or not you want my help and another two to follow me. I'll be waiting in the car" _

_Caroline remembered why she hated her smile._

_Katherine Pierce in all her beauty, in all her elegance, Katherine Pierce who wore the face of her best friend always knew something._

_Katherine Pierce was always one step ahead. _

Caroline hesitated at his door.

She had been here before under different circumstances. Weeks ago she had stood at his door swallowing her pride and discomfort and had prepared herself to meet her enemy, to meet her enemy and ask him for help.

Help to save the person she loved most.

She had been misguided to believe that he would help her. She had been naïve to believe that he would help her by giving up the person _he _loved most.

He was a monster; he was a monster who had stopped valuing the lives of others a long time ago.

But he wasn't always a monster, he wasn't always like this. He was once a human and he had loved like a human.

Caroline didn't believe Klaus would help her.

But she had to try.

She didn't know what had bought her here again.

Swallowing her anxiety and taking a shallow breath to calm her nerves she pushed against the door leading to his living room.

She was immediately hit with a case of déjà vu

He was standing in the same place he was that night.

Staring at him now she watched as his eyes widened in surprise at her sudden appearance. She knew he hadn't been expecting her. Placing his drink down neatly on the mantel piece she was oddly charmed by his English manners, his polite etiquette.

"What are you doing here Caroline"

_Good question _she thought

"_Let me get this straight, you know where she is but she's not there anymore?" _

_After heated debate they had decided to take Katherine at her word which evidently for once turned out to work in their favor. They followed Katherine to the outskirts of town to a small town fifty miles from Mystic Falls. Katherine had then led them to a small cottage in the middle of nowhere which belonged to a supposed friend of hers._

_Caroline scoffed._

_Katherine didn't have friends. Katherine had people she had compelled into doing her bidding and she had allies that had the same interests as her. _

_But never friends_

_It just so happened that her friend had turned out to be an eighty year old witch. _

_Caroline ignoring Damon's irritation stared down at the map that was stained with blood, her eyes filling with frustrated tears._

_They had been so close._

_Arianna Bennett had lived a thousand years in the birth place of her lineage. _

_Salem Massachusetts._

_For a thousand years she had not left. She did not leave the comfort of her city or the comfort of her town. _

_Until now _

_They had been so close. _

"_What exactly was the point of leading us here if all you were going to do was waste our time" Damon demanded angrily. _

_Katherine glared at him in response, shoving pass him to stand directly behind the elderly witch who had yet to speak to them._

_She hadn't spoken a word since they had arrived._

"_How was I supposed to know that she was going to suddenly pick up and decide to take a holiday, you heard the old bag of bones, she hadn't left Salem for a thousand years" she retorted tossing her luscious curls over her shoulder whilst continuously glaring at the Salvatore._

_Damon gritted his teeth angrily taking a step forward threateningly _

"_I find it hard to believe that you didn't know that. You did after all compel a witch to slit their own throat if anyone came asking questions regarding the Bennett bloodline"_

_Katherine shrugged, studying her nails in impertinence. _

"_I was protecting my interests. This wasn't information I wanted falling into the wrong hands. However when I learned it was you that had come knocking, I saw knew this was my opportunity"_

_Caroline frowned._

"_Your opportunity for what?" she found herself asking quietly_

_Katherine turned to look at her as if remembering her for the first time._

"_To stop running" she replied simply._

_Caroline more often than not failed to remember that Katherine had spent five hundred years looking over her shoulder in fear of the big bad wolf. _

_Klaus. _

_Damon growled angrily, slamming his hand down on the wooden desk startling Caroline from her thoughts. _

"_It still doesn't change the fact that we're back to square one with no idea where to find her" he bit out _

"_You will not find her" _

_Caroline watched silently as the elderly witch who had remained silent throughout their exchange slowly stood up. _

"_You will not find her" she repeated softly_

_Caroline felt the panic seeping back into her veins._

"_She will find you" _

_Caroline watched in awe as the blood stain on the map began inching forward second by second, no longer bright in color but dark and thick like black ink._

_It moved slowly toward a centre point in the map._

_Towards Mystic Falls _

"You were right" she said quietly as she continued to hover at the door.

Klaus tilted his head in confusion, as he moved closer to her ushering her into the room silently "I am usually right about many things, but do enlighten me love, what exactly am I right about this time?"

He gestured to the comfortable looking armchair in the room, signaling her to sit down.

Regaining control of her limbs that had finally awoken she moved to enter the living room choosing to stand on the other side of the room making sure to put a decent amount of space between them

"You were right. We are alike more than I realized" she replied finally.

After learning that Arianna Bennett was on her way to Mystic Falls there was little to do besides wait. She had silently sat in the car on her way back to her small town; back to the people she cared about, her mind heavy with thoughts.

"_I guess that was a success. We can get the cure without anyone having to die. _

But Damon had been wrong, someone _was _going to die.

"_You must be ecstatic Blondie. We all get what we want. I get the cure for Elena and you get to keep your little witch in one piece. No one has to lose anything. No one has to lose anyone. Win. Win." _

But Damon had been wrong; someone _was _going to lose someone.

"I wanted to save Bonnie so badly because I was tired of people disregarding her life, tired of people valuing one life over another. I wanted to save her so I could prove that her life was valuable, it was valuable to me"

She watched as Klaus stared at her openly, his eyes drinking her in.

"But in doing so I didn't realize what I was doing. I didn't realize that I was being a hypocrite. I was valuing Bonnies life above the life of someone else. I was doing the very thing I was fighting against"

"What are you saying love?" he asked inquisitively

Caroline sighed she looked around in an attempt to distract herself, to distract herself from the whirlwind of her thoughts when she saw it.

A painting

A beautiful water color canvas painting hung above the arch way of the living room taking her breath away.

It was beautiful.

She felt her breath catch in her throat as she struggled to breathe.

The scene of a full moon overlooking a picturesque waterfall and a young girl laying in the grass, her arms spread out wide beckoning to the moon.

This was her.

"Is that her?" she asked curiously pointing to the painting.

Klaus startled by the rapid change of topic followed the direction of her gaze, his eyes softening for a moment.

"Yes" he replied softly staring at the painting briefly before turning to meet her eye.

Caroline studied the girl in the painting, wondering what it was about the girl that held the heart of the hybrid with such an iron fist.

"She's beautiful" she stated sincerely

And she was.

Brown curly locks fell down her naked shoulders falling into the grass, her vibrant brown eyes illuminated by the moon light shone brightly with happiness, her ivory skin smooth and unblemished.

She was indeed beautiful.

"Yes, yes she was"

Caroline tore her eyes away from the painting of the girl with the haunting eyes to face the hybrid.

"It's not easy is it? When someone you love disappoints you, when someone you love leaves you behind" she said without a hint of cruelty.

Klaus studied her quietly, his eyes boring into her examining her sincerity, questioning her motives, suspicious and on edge.

"She didn't leave me Caroline, I left her" he replied impassively. He turned to face the painting once more. His eyes raking over the figure slowly with languid precision

Caroline watched in silence as life was breathed back into Niklaus Mikaelson.

"I never believed she belonged in this world. She was always an old soul, kind, beautiful and honest. There was always something other worldly about her. It only made me want to hold on tighter to her, to keep her with me. It kept me afraid. I was afraid to touch her, afraid to close my eyes, afraid to breathe around her in fear I would break her. Shatter her into pieces. Her Goodness, the real goodness, it has its own sort of cruelty"

He paused briefly, his eyes transfixed on the figure in the painting.

"I never wish that sort of love on anyone, not even my enemies. It is the sort of love that has you questioning your sanity, the sort of love that paralyzes you in fear. It is the sort of love that you can never let go. "

Caroline watched Klaus carefully.

"I swore that I would do whatever it took to make sure Bonnie came out of this alive."

Klaus glanced at Caroline smiling slightly before turning back to the painting

"Yes love, I understand perfectly. I wouldn't have expected anything less. It is what I find most beautiful about you. Your determination"

She didn't know how to respond to that.

So she didn't.

"So you understand that even If I have to get on my knees and beg Arianna to do the spell I will do it. I wish I could say I was above asking her to die so I can keep Bonnie in my life but I can't"

She waited patiently for a reaction from the man in front of her.

All she got was heavy silence.

"Why did you come here tonight Caroline? To tell me something I already know?" he asked.

She could hear the slight pitch of annoyance creeping into his tone

"I came here to tell you that I'm going to fight for Bonnie, I'm going to fight to save her. And for what it's worth you're not a monster for wanting to save the girl you love"

Caroline watched as his eyes widened in surprise, a small part of her elated that she was able to gauge such a reaction from the thousand year old hybrid.

"Because if you're a monster in that sense, then I'm a monster" she whispered.

The silence in the room was heavy with tension.

Sensing that she had outstayed her welcome she moved quietly to exit the room before she felt the hybrid move behind her, grabbing the handle of the door before she had the chance to make a quick escape.

"Wait"

Caroline froze, turning to face him she was startled to find him standing directly in front of her. She moved back slightly to create some space between them only to find her back hit the back of the door.

She was suddenly uncomfortable.

"You should know that I'm going to be fighting just as hard as you." he stated simply

Caroline nodded. She hadn't expected anything less.

Klaus paused slightly, his face twisting in discomfort clenching and unclenching his fist she watched in puzzlement as he looked away from her avoiding eye contact.

"But for what it's worth, out of everyone, I wish I didn't have to fight _you_"

It didn't matter what she lost.

And she would, she would lose a lot.

It didn't matter how many lies she told or how many people felt betrayed in the process.

And she would, she would tell many lies and would betray countless of people.

It didn't matter how many people she would have to _hurt_ in order to get what she wanted.

And she would, she would hurt, maim and kill if she had to.

Caroline Forbes was going to do whatever it took to ensure that Bonnie Bennett came out of this alive.

Caroline Forbes was determined, her aim? One answer in one word: It is victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be.


	18. What hell condemned let heaven now heal

**Authors note:**

**Thanks for all the reviews and to everyone following it! I've been thinking about this chapter for a while and I think it's a little bit of a risk so tell me what you think!**

**Just wanted to thank CinderNella for her dedicated reviews that not only make me smile but also give awesome feedback! **

**Chapter 18: What hell condemned, let heaven now heal. **

"_Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us."_

Bonnie Bennett blankly stared at the clock in her room.

She had been awake for 7 days.

For 168 hours.

For 10080 minutes.

For 604800 seconds.

She had lain in bed for days, her eyes heavy with exhaustion as she counted the creases in the ceiling. She had lain in bed for days, her body tense and on edge inspecting the burgundy hues of her sheets and bedding. She had paced the length of her room, done her homework, unfolded and folded her laundry; she had done everything humanly possible to evade sleep.

Her dreams were relentless.

Every night she felt the pain of hot iron impaling her with the unmistakable scent of burning flesh in the air. She heard the blood curdling screams that deafened her and left her screaming upon waking.

Every morning she awoke to numbness.

She tore at her skin until she bled freely, until feeling crept back into her.

Until she learned to breathe again

As time went on she trained herself to build immunity to the haunting dreams that she had experienced since she was a child. With time she had learned to accustom herself to the screaming, to the fire that charred her skin with a sort of horrific realism that shattered her.

But time could not wash away the memories when she awoke.

Time could not blind her nor could it deafen her.

However Bonnie Bennett believed in everybody's life there was a point of no return, and in a very few cases, a point where you can't go forward anymore. It is only when one reaches that point that they quietly accept the fact. This is life and that is how we survive.

She was stuck.

She was neither moving forward nor going backwards.

Instead she was a prisoner to her own demons.

Imprisoned in her mind by the intensity of her dreams which had been plaguing her with new ferocity and tearing down the walls of her sanity

Until there was nothing left.

For seven long days Bonnie Bennett stared at the blank walls of her room.

She had switched off her phone 96 hours ago due to the influx of calls from Caroline and her friends. She had pulled out the cord from her phone at home 72 hours ago when Caroline had realized she had switched off her cell phone.

It had been 24 hours since she had stopped flinching at the sound of knocking at her door.

It had been six hours since she had curled herself in a ball and cried.

She cried for Emily Bennett, mother of two who was burned alive for trusting the wrong people. For Danielle Maria Bennett 42 years of age who was hung from the roof after spending twenty hours in the freezing cold keeping a child alive, for Sheila Bennett for who for the love of her granddaughter fulfilled her wish with her dying breath.

For Abby Wilson Bennett who for the love of a daughter was turned into an abomination of nature.

It had been 27 minutes since Bonnie had shed her last tear and stared absentmindedly at the ceiling.

The dreams had worsened as of late, stripping away the layers of her life leaving her bare, naked. She couldn't help but wondering if it was a sign, a sign that she screams would soon join the screams of her family, of her lineage.

The cursed Bennett Bloodline

She wondered what life would have been like had she taken her father's name, had she been Bonnie Hopkins, a mortal, a nobody, nothing.

"_It means you're nothing and when you die Bonnie Bennett, you'll still be nothing" _

Her reply had been stuck in her throat; she had concentrated on breathing, on keeping her tears at bay, on not breaking in front of _him. _

But He was wrong.

She was _somebody. _

Never before had she wished for Damon Salvatore to be right for once.

She wished she was a _nobody_

Nothing but a face in a crowd of people, people walking to the mall, people going to school people doing _ordinary _things. She wanted to be an 18 year old girl hanging out with her friends and gossiping about boys, dreaming of her wedding day and deciding on which college to go to

But Bonnie would not be going to college.

Because she was Bonnie _Bennett_

The last of the Bennett bloodline

The cursed Bennett bloodline

Someone had been knocking on the door for 16 minutes and 32 seconds.

Rolling onto her side she lay her head against her pillow as she faintly made out the sounds of soft hammering on her front door.

Sighing deeply she turned onto her back to continue her inspection of her ceiling whilst willing the unwanted guest away.

*****************************************

9 hours and 42 minutes later the unwanted guest remained undeterred as they continued to knock at her front door relentlessly.

Bonnie stared at her clock admittedly admiring their persistence; she slowly pushed herself up off her bed with effort, the act leaving her winded and breathless with exhaustion. She grudgingly made her way over to the window sill which was situated above her front porch. She stared down at her front yard expecting to see her young blond friend tense with concern knocking away with determination.

What she saw left her winded.

Damon Salvatore sat leaning against her front door.

She watched in silent amazement as he knocked idly away staring at nothing.

She didn't want him here.

She didn't want him darkening her doorstep, didn't want to hear whatever new problem Mystic Falls had managed to stumble across, she didn't want to hear what spell she needed to perform to save everyone.

Most of all, she didn't want to hear what he had to say.

She quietly made her way downstairs one step at a time taking care not to make a sound as to alert the Vampire of her presence. She slowly hedged over to the door watching as it loomed luminously in front of her.

She didn't know if she was intimidated by the door or by the person behind it.

He had stopped knocking.

She walked over to the door running her hands across its wooden texture whilst listening intently for the soft raping of his knuckles against her door.

She heard nothing.

She sighed in relief turning to walk away when she heard him.

"Open the door Bonnie"

She couldn't.

She wouldn't.

She felt herself slide against her front door, leaning her head back she crawled into herself, bringing her knees close, she mirrored his previous position.

"What do you want me to say?" she heard him ask, his voice void of emotion.

She wanted him to tell her why it was so easy to hurt her, to tell her why her life meant so little to him, why he followed her that night into the parking lot.

She wanted him to tell her why he asked her to dance.

She wanted him to say a whole of lot of things that he wouldn't mean.

She wanted him to tell her he was sorry.

But most of all, she wanted him to mean it.

Instead she said nothing.

"I messed up" he said quietly

He did.

He messed up all the time.

But she wasn't Elena.

She didn't want to clean up his messes and make excuses for him.

She didn't want to look at him and realize he could be a better man if he wanted to be, if he tried. She didn't want to look at him and realize he could be better.

She didn't want to hear c_ould, could, could. _

She just wished he _would. _

"Come on Judgy, cut me some slack"

Bonnie clenched her fists angrily as she felt the familiar flames of rage ignite within her. She wanted to burn him, burn him until there was nothing left, just ash, ash and booze.

"I followed you that night to make sure you were alright" he said quietly.

She felt his hesitation as he spoke, as if he was revealing a secret, a weakness to his enemy.

"I don't trust Professor Shane and I don't think his interest in helping us is due to his kind and warm heart"

Bonnie rolled her eyes as she scoffed silently.

She wasn't surprised, Damon didn't trust anyone.

"But I trust you, so as long as you know what you're doing, I'll stay out of it" he admitted uncertainly his voice stumbling over the words slightly.

Bonnie's eyes widened at his admission.

"You have to admit you were a real bitch that night though" he quipped, diffusing the tension his confession had sparked.

He was right.

She was a bitch.

But she had needed to distract him, distract him so he wouldn't see, so he wouldn't figure out her secret.

The fact it was getting harder and harder to draw out her legacy, it was getting harder and harder to feel the power curling within her palms, power that once seemed as natural as breathing now required the effort of an Olympic wrestler.

She didn't want him to know that it was getting harder and harder to draw out her magic and professor Shane who had witnessed one too many of her infamous nosebleeds had suggested a way of speeding things along, a way of allowing her to maintain some control over her magic as well as herself.

Pain.

The more she tore at her flesh and felt the pain of a earthly wound the easier it was to concentrate on her magic, the more control she had over it.

The first time she had done it had been ironically by accident.

She had been cutting up carrots for a casserole when she had cut her finger with the kitchen knife, while she ran her finger under the kitchen sink she had been surprised to feel the air hiss with magic, with her magic.

The second time she had done it had been voluntary. She had asked Professor Shane to aid her by making a small incision on her palm as she watched in morbid fascination.

Once again she had been overwhelmed by the results as she felt the air thicken with magic.

But he was right, regardless; she _had _been a bitch that night.

If she was honest her livid outburst had more to do with how she was feeling then with protecting her secret.

She knew antagonizing Damon would result in a violent outburst.

She _wanted _him to lash out at her; she _wanted _him to hurt her.

She wanted to hate him again.

She wanted him to give her a reason to hate him again, to despise him with every inch of her being until she was choking on her rage, until she could think of nothing else but driving a stake through his heart.

She wanted things to go back to how they were.

Before things had shifted

"But I should never have put my hands on you. I crossed the line"

And so he did.

For a brief second her wish had been granted and she was reminded of a night long before, she was reminded of a Damon long forgotten.

"Believe it or not I don't actually enjoy roughing up women; I was a gentleman back in the day you know"

Bonnie snorted loudly in amusement before covering up her mouth quickly, infuriated at herself for giving herself away.

"I watched my father beat my mother, beating her into submission until there was nothing left. I hated seeing her like that; I hated seeing his face reflected in her eyes. Most of all I hated that it's the most vivid memory I have of her" he admitted softly.

She felt her chest tighten painfully.

She didn't want to feel sorry for him; she didn't want to feel anything except disdain and resentment, it was a feeling she was comfortable with.

"I never told anyone especially not Stefan naturally, I didn't want him to remember our mother black and blue, he deserved to remember her the way any three year old would remember a dead parent, an angel in heaven watching down on him."

Bonnie couldn't breathe; she felt pieces breaking within her as she clung to keep them close to her, clung to keep them together before they were lost to her forever.

"Open the door Bonnie" he asked again his tone softening.

Bonnie bit her lip in anxiety. She wanted him to leave before he said anything else, before he caused _permanent _damage, damage no spell could undo.

"Come on Judgy, I can hear you breathing so I know you're there. Open the door and hear me out"

She took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

"Why should I?" she whispered brokenly

"Because I'm an asshole, because I probably deserve a thousand aneurisms for the shit I've done and because I'm sorry" he replied honestly

Bonnie felt her chest tighten anxiously

"You're always sorry. You were sorry when you killed Mason Lockwood, when you almost killed Tyler, and when you snapped Jeremy's neck over and over again you were sorry all those times too" she said in frustration

"But this time I actually mean it"

She opened the door.

She watched as he jumped to his feet in surprise quickly brushing off the nonexistent dust on his jeans. She watched him eerily as she stilled the rapid pace of her heart beating uncomfortably in her chest.

He watched her back.

She felt his eyes rake over her striped pajama pants and matching top lingered briefly on her neck before settling on her face.

She knew she looked exhausted, knew it was written on her face.

Bonnies widened in surprise and curiosity as he suddenly handed her a small paper bag

"What's this?" she asked inquisitively

Damon shrugged nonchalantly looking away from her in what Bonnie could only assume was nerves.

Damon was nervous.

Opening the bag she examined a small white jar.

"Its witch hazel, it's supposed to help with bruising and swelling. It's used for Healing in many parts of the world" he explained quietly

Bonnie stared at him in puzzlement, she didn't understand.

As if sensing her confusion Damon sighed in frustration.

"I didn't know how much I had hurt you that night, I don't know my own strength sometimes and since I know you probably wouldn't have accepted my blood, so I figured this might help" he answered quickly as if saying all the words as quickly as he could would diffuse the meaning behind his gesture.

He didn't know how to be sorry.

And he was sorry.

She felt the wound from the previous night slowly knit itself back together leaving behind the faint remains of a scar she would soon forget.

He didn't know how to be sorry.

But he was trying anyway.

"Thank you" she whispered securely placing the paper bag and its contents on the small table beside her door before turning to face him again.

She stared at the ground in silence in the silence that followed his gesture, her thoughts colliding violently in her head

She wanted answers for questions neither of them had the courage to ask.

She focused her gaze on him, watching him intently as she crossed her arms leaning her hip against the door frame.

"Why did you ask me to dance that night?" she asked bluntly

She took the ripping a band aid approach, better to do it quickly without over thinking or over analyzing it.

She watched as his face contorted in surprise for a brief second before settling onto a neutral expression, he pushed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket staring down at her.

"Why did you say yes?" he replied back directly

She should have known that he wouldn't given in that easy, that he wouldn't give anything without getting something in return.

He was Damon Salvatore after all.

"Because you asked me to" she paused briefly before continuing "and because for a brief second I wanted to know what it felt like to be Elena Gilbert" she answered sincerely cringing internally at the truth behind her words.

She had wanted to see what Elena saw in him that night.

And she did.

But she had seen _more. _

"I asked you to dance because you were having a shitty night"

Bonnie felt her stomach drop in disappointment.

She was suddenly angry at herself for hoping, for hoping for something different, for hoping for a different answer.

She didn't know what she wanted to hear, didn't know what she expected to hear.

But she knew she wanted to hear something different, she wanted to hear something _more. _

"And because you're Bonnie Bennett, and the Bonnie Bennett's of this world don't belong with Jeremy Gilbert"

Bonnie felt her world shift, tilting dangerously in a direction that left her clinging to the edge of the cliff with no one to pull her back, and no one to break her fall.

Her hands trembled in trepidation as found herself unable to look him in the eye.

She feared what he would see if she was to look at him, she feared what lay within her green iris's, bare, open and naked for the world to see.

She clutched the door handle slowly, inhaling through her nose with difficulty, she briefly wondered if he could hear the hammering of her chest, if he could see the rosy hue that now covered her cheeks.

She glanced at him briefly as he cocked his head to the side studying her as if he had just exposed her biggest secret, as if he owned all the pieces to Bonnie Bennett.

And she had.

She had willingly handed over a piece of herself to Damon Salvatore.

But he had also handed over a piece of himself to her.

Bonnie didn't know whether she wanted to cherish it forever or quickly hand it back to him hoping to never see it again.

"Come inside" she whispered

She watched as his face lit up in surprise blinding her with the force of something she had never seen before, never seen directed at her.

He was smiling.

It was a smile that had made the decision easy.

And Bonnie Bennett knew that she would keep that piece of him close and cherish it for as long as he allowed her to have it.

She had feelings for him.

Damon Salvatore had wormed his way into her heart without her realizing it, creeping up when she least expected it unleashing waves of terror that left her paralyzed in fright.

She was terrified.

There was no measurement of time that would allow her to decipher how long she had spent in denial, nor was there any measurement of time that would tell her how long it took for her to realize the truth.

That life will break you.

You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.

Damon had wounded her, wounded her fatally and in the same moment had stitched her back together, stronger than ever yet more brittle then she had ever been before.

Bonnie had once naively believed that blessed were the hearts that could bend, they would never be broken.

But she wondered now in light of her epiphany, if there is was no breaking then there would be no healing, and if there was no healing then there would be no learning, and if there was no learning then there would be no struggle.

After all struggle was a part of life, so perhaps all hearts were meant to be broken.


	19. Book of Revelations

**Authors Note:**

**I'm so sorry for the late update! I've been sick for a while and haven't had the energy to write. I've been feeling better the last couple of days so i was able to put a few things together. I'm not 100 percent happy about the chapter, but i did the best i could!  
Just wanted to thank everyone for the reviews! Please keep it coming! I have a Klaroline chapter coming up next that i've been working on. I think you're going to like it as it reveals a lot of what happened in the past with Arianna and Caroline finally lets her guard down a little :D  
CinderNella: Once again, Thank you! **

**Let me know what you guys think! **

**Chapter 19: Book of Revelations **

"_If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth."_

He did not believe.

He didn't believe in a kingdom high in the sky made out of bright gold shining brightly in the Garden of Eden.

He didn't believe in the conception of heaven, a place where dreams came true and where each good deed was rewarded with your heart's desire.

Mostly, he didn't believe in the existence of one entity, one entity that held the fate of the world in their hands. He could not wrap his mind around the sheer power one entity could retain and how this being was able to contain such power and not be consumed with it.

Niklaus Mikaelson found himself wondering if such a being existed, a being of justice, honor and goodness; if such a being was to exist he wondered how they could have allowed _him _to come into existence.

How could such an entity have stood idly by while he drank his full, pillaged nations and lied his way into the hearts of thousands.

He who self admittedly had no respect for human life

He who self admittedly would see to the destruction of this planet if it served his purpose

He preyed on innocents, he took from them, he stripped them of their dignity, he whored, he drank, he stole and he cheated. He existed within the cracks of humanity.

He was a new God in an old land.

Niklaus Mikaelson, the hybrid, the original vampire

The monster.

He had decided a long time ago that such a being could not exist.

Because Klaus did not believe.

Because he _was _a God.

And he did not share power.

He did not care for the restrictions of old religions that worshiped old Gods not unless they were worshiping him. Nor did he care for the extraneous beliefs of old men residing in old buildings that could very easily be burned to the ground.

Along with all those inside

Niklaus Mikaelson _was _a God.

But he did believe in the importance of _confession. _

The significant impulse that tells you confession is going to relieve you, the belief that confession is going to wash away your sins.

It was the year of 1734 when Klaus had stumbled across a small monastery in Cuenca Spain, a city amid a landscape of rugged limestone outcroppings at the junction of two rivers. He remembered thinking that Cuenca was a fascinating city with an aura that would not fade over time that seemed to float about the steep gorges below.

He had found himself inside the sanctuary of the church guided by curiosity and boredom watching as one by one the villagers in attendance disappeared into the confessional only to emerge moments later lighter, happy.

He had stared in amazement as time and time again people emerged from the confessional, different, light.

Free.

Before he was able to stop himself found himself making his way to the confessional used for the sacrament of penance and seated himself behind the barrier.

He had spent hours.

Hours detailing his sins, his crimes and his truths, hours dictating monotonously decades of bloodshed and murder, taking his time describing the wails of pain and the carnage he had bestowed upon people. Words could never do it justice.

He listened in vague amusement as realization began to dawn on the Priest as he realized that the man in his presence was not a man, but rather something else.

_Demonio del infierno _he had whispered during his last moments on earth.

A demon from hell.

He had emerged from the confessional, happy, renewed, sparkly and new.

He had drained the priest.

And so began the tradition.

Every year Niklaus Mikaelson found himself inside a confessional the same way he had all those years ago, replaying the same scene over and over again.

Every year he revealed his grotesque crimes to an unsuspecting priest, unveiling his sins and laying them bare.

Every year he emerged feeling clean, unburdened, a new man.

Every year he left none alive.

"If you're not going to order anything then do you mind leaving? The bar is full tonight of paying customers"

Klaus glanced up at the unwelcome interruption.

Matt Donovan glowered down at him.

Klaus wondered briefly as to why the human was breathing. Was he oblivious to the amount of pain he was about to bring down on himself?

Was the stereotype right for once? Were quarterbacks just that stupid?

He smiled amicably to the young human reaching into his pocket to retrieve a crisp twenty dollar note; he slid it over to the man in question.

Matt eyed him suspiciously slowly reaching over the counter to pick up the money offered to him.

Klaus smiled in pleasure.

He snapped his wrist in half.

He casually tucked the note back into his pocked watching in amusement as Matt grimaced in pain clutching his broken wrist to his chest.

"There are 206 bones in the human body and that was just one. I have no problem breaking each and single one of them, remember that"

He turned his back on the broken human replacing his gaze with the root of his problem as of late.

Bonnie Bennett.

He watched her from afar studying her carefully as she flipped through her text book oblivious to all around her.

He often wondered what it was about the Bennett bloodline that gave birth to witches of such power, witches so lively it took your breath away.

He had believed once that drinking the blood of a witch meant drinking power.

That was before he had tasted the blood of a Bennett witch.

While the blood of a witch tasted like _power, _the blood of a Bennett Witch tasted like something not of this world.

There was something about the young Bennett witch that made her beautiful, beautiful and broken.

There was something about the young Bennett witch that reminded him of _her. _

She was going to die.

A fate she could not escape, even now as her friends rallied to save her life.

He on the other hand rallied to put her in the grave,

He allowed her a few moments of pity. Pity for the girl she would never grow up to be pity for a source of power that would never reach its full potential and pity for the end of the Bennett Bloodline.

In a trance like state he made his way over to the unsuspecting witch ignoring the suspicious gaze of the human he had left battered behind the bar, he walked up behind her seat looking down at the book she had been examining.

A school Yearbook

"Reminiscing fond memories are we?" he asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

Bonnie jumped in alarm, snapping the book shut she scrambled in her seat glaring at the hybrid in anger.

He could hear her heart beating rapidly in fear.

It was music to his ears.

"What the hell do you want?" she asked shoving the book back into her bag and jumping to her feet.

Klaus shrugged smiling at the witch in a way he knew would have her teetering on the edge.

"Just stopping by to say hello to my favorite witch" he replied

He watched in glee as she ground her teeth in frustration.

"Yeah well next time don't"

Klaus laughed chuckled softly.

He found it mildly fascinating that he had tried to kill her on numerous occasions yet she found a way to survive each time.

There was something about her that wouldn't die, something other worldly about the witch that refused to pass on.

He feared that even in death Bonnie Bennett would live on.

"I didn't stop by to cause any trouble"

Bonnie watched him curiously, her eyes softening briefly before hardening once again.

"Why did you stop by? For a cup of tea?" she asked sarcastically

Klaus paused.

A simple question with a simple truth, she was going to die.

And he was going to be honest.

"You're going to die Bonnie" he said bluntly.

He watched in morbid fascination as her eyes dulled considerably, she clutched her bag tightly to her chest as she steadied herself.

"You don't know that" she replied softly.

He continued on undisturbed "And yet I find you here, every day at the same hour sitting in the same chair staring at that same book and not doing a damn thing about it"

Bonnie stared at him as if he had just announced he was next in line to be the King of England.

"You want me to fight back" she asked incredulously

Klaus laughed loudly

"Of course not, that would be counterproductive to the save Elena campaign that I'm currently running."

Her glare had returned with force

"I don't understand what you're saying then"

Klaus shrugged in nonchalance

"You're going to die and you're choosing to be here, choosing to be here every day instead of doing something. Do something Bonnie Bennett; feel alive because a few weeks from now you're not going to be Bonnie Bennett anymore. You'll be gone and all you'll have are your regrets. You're going to be nothing but a distant memory. Is that how you want to be remembered?"

He watched as her eyes clouded with frustrated tears, her pulse quickening in realization.

The realization he was right.

Held hostage by a fate she could never escape.

"Why are you saying this" she asked quietly

He was momentarily reminded of a girl, a girl who had asked him the very same thing long ago.

"_Niklaus please, do not walk away from me." _

_Klaus hesitated, pausing fleetingly at the sound of her anguish. He closed his eyes swallowing his own anguish, forcing it down roughly. He could not breathe, could not move, could not think, her pain consumed him becoming his own. _

_He sank to his knees contemplating prostration, prostration to a God who had left him a long time ago, Prostration to a God that had given him nothing but misery and pain._

_Prostration to a God who had given him the one thing he valued above all and in the same breath had taken it away. _

_She had done this. She had made the decision for him. _

"_I cannot look at you, I cannot be in the same room as you without wanting to tear out my own throat" he whispered brokenly clenching his fists tightly until his nails dug into his palms painfully drawing blood. _

"_Why are you saying this? Please don't do this." she asked the sounds of her sobs consuming the walls of the cave, taunting him._

_He wanted to run and never look back. _

_He loved her. He loved her so much he couldn't breathe. _

_And his love for her had destroyed him._

"_You did this. You chose this. So you will live with it" _

For a brief moment Klaus was reminded of the girl he had pulled out of the water, the girl who had clung to him as he breathed life back into her.  
The girl he had spent the better half of his life despising and loving with equal extremity.

She _was _going to die.

And she was _here_, talking to him.

He watched as reality dawned on the young witch, she quickly gathered her things in haste, rushing pass him, heading toward the exit.

He didn't believe.

He didn't believe in an entity that possessed all the power in the word, an entity that controlled the fate of all of earth's inhabitants.

He didn't believe that his life was a chess board being played for him, all his moves already decided against his will.

But for a brief moment, Niklaus Mikaelson was sure he had seen it.

Seen it shining brightly amongst the green

He had seen God in her eyes.

Had it been offered to her? Or had she taken it by force?

Had Eve been given a choice? Or had the choice been thrusted upon her?

Did any of them have a choice? Or were they one apple tree away from damning all of humanity?

Bonnie Bennett believed.

She believed that there was more to life then death and sorrow.

That there was something waiting for her, something amazing and beautiful, something that made it all worth it.

It was raining.

She momentarily paused in her journey to acknowledge the cold feel of rain rushing down her face.

She was numb.

_Do something, feel alive because soon you're going to be gone and all you'll have are your regrets. _

He was a monster, a cruel and frightening monster.

But he was right.

She wanted to feel alive, she wanted to feel something.

Even if it meant she was going to make a fool of herself, even if it meant getting her heart broken. Even if it meant taking the apple and being cast out of paradise.

She knocked softly against the door, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to keep warm.

Her heart hammered rapidly in her chest as the door opened slowly.

"What the hell judgy? Why are you standing there looking like a drowned rat?"

Bonnie pulled the wet strands of her hair away from her face shivering slightly as she glanced up at the elder Salvatore who stared down at her in confusion.

She didn't know how she had ended up at his door.

The Hybrid had frightened her. She had been terrified, petrified and paralyzed.

She didn't know _how _she had ended up at his door.

But she was here.

And Bonnie Bennett was no coward.

"I'm going to die Damon" she said softly the bellowing of the wind behind her drowning out the dulcet tone of her voice.

His jaw tightened.

He had heard her.

"Calm down and come inside" he replied calmly opening the door behind him allowing her entry.

Bonnie stared into the room behind him, the glow of the fireplace lighting up the hallway giving the illusion of warmth.

She was cold.

"I'm going to die Damon" she repeated loudly, her voice struggling to compete with the storm raging behind her. The same storm that raged within her.

She was fighting, fighting many wars, the war to live, the war against herself, the war to be seen, to be heard.

She watched as he sighed loudly stepping out onto the foyer closing the door behind him.

"What's going on Bonnie? What are you doing here?" he asked softly, taking a tentative step forward.

He stared at her intently his eyes slowly taking in her presence looking for anything out of place.

He was concerned.

Bonnie held herself together clutching her arms tightly she shivered slightly as the wind howled behind her, wrathful and angry.

"I didn't have anywhere else to go" she replied honestly.

Damon stared at her in confusion.

"Come inside and tell me what the hell is going on judgy" he said concern slowly seeping into his voice.

Bonnie stared down at the ground crestfallen.

"I ran into Klaus at mystic grill" she replied bitterly

In a split second Damon had her arm clenched within her grasp turning her abruptly to face him

"What the hell did he say?" he sneered looking down at her in barely concealed rage.

"He said what everybody else has been thinking. That I'm going to die Damon" she retorted dully. She stared at him blankly.

Damon scoffed loudly pushing her away from him forcefully. He ran his hand through his raven locks in frustration suddenly unable to look at her.

"Don't be so melodramatic Bonnie" he spat angrily

Bonnie laughed uneasily.

"But its true isn't it? Funny thing is Klaus of all people is the only one that is willing to be upfront with me" she replied her voice harsh with disdain.

Damon growled angrily turning to glare down at the young witch his eyes wide with fury.

"I'm sure Klaus is positively giddy at the thought of you dying. Remember Klaus is a self serving sociopath who will pay for everything he's done, trust me"

Bonnie smiled sadly.

He didn't get it. It wasn't about Klaus. It was about her.

"He told me not to have any regrets, he told me to do something real, something alive. He told me to do anything that made this all worth it."

Damon frowned in confusion

"In which universe is taking advice from Klaus a good idea?"

Bonnie shrugged

"He's right. I don't want to have any regrets Damon"

He froze. The force of her words had hit him like a ton of bricks.

"You shouldn't be here Bonnie" he said coolly

He was right.

She had no right to be there, no right to be asking for anything.

No right to be asking for something that didn't belong to her.

"But I'm here Damon standing in front of you and I don't care if you don't want to hear what I have to say, I'm going to say it anyway. Because I don't care that I am being selfish in trying to make the rest of my life - whatever length – happy."

"What do you want me to say?" he asked bleakly his gaze transfixed on something beyond her.

He wasn't looking at her.

Sighing quietly she turned her back on him swallowing the bile that had risen in her throat.

"I could have loved you so much more than she ever could" she whispered. Her confession lost in the wind.

She believed.

She believed because she had no other choice.

She believed because she refused to believe that this was _it. _This was how it ended.

She cried, and cried some more.

Because she had told God that she was weary of trying. And, God had replied.

_Quit trying_.


	20. Authors Note

**Authors Note:**

Hey guys! I just wanted to let you guys know that I am still alive and that there will be a chapter update this week, I am nearly finished with the chapter and I promise that things will move along more quickly from here onwards.

I have been sick lately and have not been able to write much but I have good days and bad days so today has been a relatively good day so I have been able to write a substantial part of the chapter today.

The Klaroline scene was something I wanted to take extra care writing because it is possibly the first time we see Caroline giving some of herself to Klaus in a bold move, and we see just how far Klaus is willing to go for Caroline.

Anyway I just wanted to let you guys know that I haven't forgotten any of you!

Chapter will be up by the end of the week hopefully :D


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: I miss something I never had. **

"_Sometimes, people can go missing right before our very eyes. Sometimes, people can discover you, even though they've been looking at you the entire time. Sometimes, we lose sight of ourselves when we're not paying enough attention."_

She remembered collecting milk cartons when she was a child.

She had spent hours memorizing the names of missing children.

She remembered staring at their pictures and imagining how easy a young life could be taken, how it required no effort at all.

How you were there in one moment and then you were gone.

She remembered believing like every other young girl that when you're young, you think nothing can hurt you. It's like being invisible.

Caroline remembered being 13 years old when Bonnies face had appeared on a milk carton one morning.

She had stared at her friend's ghost like smile for three quarters of an hour before her mother pried the crumpled image from her fist.

Caroline remembered the ache she had carried in her chest, the dull pain of internal wounds that were invisible to the human eye.

But most of all she remembered screaming.

Screaming that day in the kitchen when Bonnie's picture had appeared innocently next to her cereal as if it somehow belonged there

Screaming when her mother had explained that sometimes children that went missing never returned

She screamed until her throat gave out and she could not scream no more.

She had been standing in the kitchen staring absentmindedly at the fridge magnets when the call had come in. Bonnie had been found trapped under the trunk of a tree that had fallen after the ravine had flooded.

She was hungry, cold wet and bruised but she was alive and in that moment 13 year old Caroline Forbes had felt her breakable heart slowly piece its way back together however she had known then what she knew now.

She had known that while it would heal it would never be what it once was.

Years later Caroline would often catch herself staring intently at milk cartons in stolen moments, calling her young friend on rainy days, and idly scratching at her chest at the phantom pains of a dull wound that had healed many years ago.

She had misplaced something.

Caroline Forbes had awoken that morning with the distinct feeling that something was missing, something fundamentally important to her, something she couldn't recall.

She had proceeded to go over her repetitive morning routine, analyzing her steps with great detail attempting to locate when the crippling feeling had first occurred.

Her search had come up short.

However something persisted to nag at her, an emptiness she could not explain.

She had awoken that morning bleary eyed and over tired but nothing had felt out of the ordinary. She recalled brushing her teeth in haste while simultaneously going through her wardrobe for her outfit for the day before finally settling on a blue denim skirt and a white tank top.

She had gotten into the car with the phone attached to her ear and proceeded to make the familiar route to Mystic Falls High.

Nothing had felt off.

Nothing had felt different.

Yet something felt _wrong._

Sitting in English class that morning had been agonizing. She had gone through the many things she could have misplaced, the many things she might have forgotten.

Until it had finally hit her,

She wasn't forgetting someone's birthday, or a pair of designer shoes left behind at someone's house. She was forgetting someone.

Someone fundamentally important, someone whom she hadn't seen in a week

Someone she hadn't spoken to in a week.

Bonnie Bennett.

Bonnie had been strangely vague and evasive the last time Caroline had spoken to her claiming she had come down with a bad case of the flu and wasn't able to make it to school.

On normal occasions Caroline would have left it at that wishing her a speedy recovery and a lot of R&R with a promise of chicken noodle soup.

But something had felt _wrong. _

Something she had ignored and passed off as nothing.

But_ nothing_ in Mystic Falls always meant something.

Caroline had stopped by the Bennett residence three times during the week with chicken soup and a box of tissues, she had knocked on the door for several minutes before giving up, assuming Bonnie was asleep.

Caroline didn't understand why she had walked away without insisting on seeing her.

Caroline didn't understand why she had let it go so easily without a thought for the safety of her friend, the safety of her friend in a town that was crawling with monsters.

A town that would drink to her bones

Instead of concern for her friend's safety she had felt a haze, a haze that left her blind, a haze, was not natural.

Magic.

Magic had done this.

But the haze had eventually lifted, receding slowly.

And Caroline knew.

She knew she had awoken.

Minutes later she found herself standing outside the Bennett residence knocking on the door for several long minutes only to find the property sparse of human inhabitance.

No one was home.

No one had been home for a while.

Caroline felt a familiar terror begin to settle at the pit of her stomach slowly churning away at her resolve, picking up her phone with shaky fingers she dialed Bonnies cell phone for the umpteenth time with no answer.

Choking back her anxiety she raced toward her car with the sinking feeling that something was wrong.

Something that would change everything she knew about the people she loved.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%

She found it oddly disturbing how often she had found herself standing before the eldest Salvatore brother seeking his assistance in some form or another.

She found it equally disturbing how often she found herself standing before Damon Salvatore trusting him with the most important person in her life.

"What do you mean she's missing?" he asked incredulously his voice sounding muffled and distorted from the adjoining room.

Caroline gritted her teeth in frustration pacing a hole through the carpet.

"I told you, I haven't seen her in days and all week I have been feeling distracted, distracted in the magical sense. It's like she didn't want anyone to go looking for her" she replied angrily grabbing her phone she flipped through her address book contemplating on who to call next.

Damon emerging from the bathroom buttoned up his shirt while regarding the anxious blonde with a glare

"You haven't seen her in a week and you're giving the heads up now? Are you forgetting that we live in a town where missing is usually synonymous with dead"

Caroline growled loudly clenching her fists and blinded by rage she rushed forward grabbing the older vampire by the throat and throwing him against the bathroom door with a loud crash.

"Don't say it, don't even think it Damon" she hissed quietly.

Damon stared at her his eyes ablaze with barely concealed fury. He silently pried her hands off his throat pushing her back roughly.

Caroline watched with burgeoning interest as he made his way to the counter reaching unsteadily for a bottle of scotch before pouring himself a hefty amount.

Something was eating at the elder Salvatore, something that had him reaching for the bottle at noon.

Something that had nothing to do with Elena Gilbert

"It's obvious who has her" he murmured breaking her free from her musings.

Caroline frowned in confusion.

"Yeah and who would that be?" she asked sarcastically, her patience beginning to wane thin, they were wasting valuable time exchanging blows.

The feeling that had previously settled in the pit of her stomach had given birth to panic, a panic so consuming she shook with the effort to rein it in.

Damon looked up his eyes hardening.

"Klaus" he replied simply.

Caroline froze.

He had made it no secret that he would fight to protect the people he loved at the expense of people _she _loved.

He had made it no secret that Bonnie's life meant little to nothing to the hybrid.

Niklaus Mikaelson was capable of anything, something he had proven time and time again.

Yet something told her that for once, this had nothing to do with the original vampire and everything to do with Bonnie herself.

"I don't think Klaus has her. I mean why would he wait until now to kidnap her and for what? He knows she's agreed to do the spell there would be no reason to take her" she countered

Damon growled angrily shattering the glass within his grasp. Shards of broken glass shattered around their feet.

"Are you trying to prove every blonde theory out there right by giving me the impression you don't have a brain? Of course he has her; he wants to make sure this ritual goes off without a hitch and what better way to ensure that by holding her hostage"

Caroline winced at the reminder of her friend's role in the ritual.

Damon Salvatore was manipulative, Damon was calculated and cruel but he was right.

It would be the best way to ensure that the plan went off without a glitch, the best way to ensure that she did the spell without outside interference.

But something felt different.

Something felt _wrong._

"I just don't think he has her, he knows Bonnie has to do the spell willingly and she wouldn't go without a fight" she replied, questioning her own sanity as she caught herself in-avertedly d_efending _the hybrid.

Damon stared at her in disbelief.

She shifted uneasily under the intensity of his gaze.

"Have you lost your mind Caroline? Are you seriously telling me that you think Klaus doesn't want to tear Bonnie in two? She's missing and you of all people are standing there telling me it isn't his fault? As if everything screwed up in this town isn't his fault?" Damon roared angrily

She felt his anger fill the room snuffing out her defense.

"It just doesn't make sense Damon. I want to find her more than anything and I don't want to waste time picking a fight with Klaus especially if it turns out he doesn't know where she is in the first place"

Damon continued to unleash the full extent of his unrelenting glare on her.

"Remember you're the one that came to me crying and begging me to help you find a way to save her so you're the one that has to live with it if you happen to be wrong. If it's a risk you're willing to take then by all means let's give Klaus the _benefit of the doubt_"

Caroline felt her throat constrict uncomfortably at his implication.

Damon chuckled cynically stepping over the broken shards of glass he stared down at her quietly. His eyes shimmering like ice frozen over.

"What's one dead witch between enemies' right?"

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %

She was mesmerized.

She watched in awe as he softly brushed the canvas with tentative affectionate strokes, strokes that displayed a sort of tenacity that came natural to the blond hybrid.

He painted the same way he loved.

With everything he had.

He didn't know how to do that differently.

"You're staring"

Caroline startled out of her thoughts blushed slightly in embarrassment at being caught off guard.

"I was admiring the painting, not the artist I assure you" she replied back firmly, attempting to maintain control of the situation.

Klaus laughed in response continuing to paint leisurely without a care.

He didn't care.

He didn't care that she had stormed into his house without an invitation accusing him of kidnapping her missing friend.

Just like he didn't care that she now stood with the white oak stake clenched tightly in her fist pressed up against his back, the threat of death lay between them.

He continued to paint, lost in a world of soft strokes and color.

"I don't know where she is Caroline"

Caroline felt her hand shake at the mention of her missing friend; she pressed the stake harder against his back smiling slightly as he hissed at the contact.

"Give me one reason why I should believe you?" she asked softly

"Because I don't have any reason to lie to you, because I wouldn't lie to you" he replied quietly.

Caroline mused quietly.

She didn't want to believe him,

But she did.

She didn't want her heart to beat painfully in her chest at his admission.

But it did.

Taking a tentative step back dropping her hand to swing indolently at her side

"You have made it clear where you stand when it comes to Bonnie. She is nothing but a means to an end in your eyes so forgive me if her sudden disappearance sent me straight to your door" she replied back coldly regaining her bearings.

She needed to remain in control.

Klaus stood abruptly turning to face her dropping the paint brush, the sound vibrating against the walls of the Mikaelson mansion.

"Believe whatever you wish love but had I taken the witch I wouldn't feel the need to lie about it. None of your friends have the power to stop me, not Stefan, not Damon and certainly not you" he stated bluntly

Caroline flinched in response.

"Not that I would need to resort to kidnapping, Bonnie will come to me when the time comes". He reached down to pick up his paint brush turning his back on Caroline once again.

Caroline looked around in panic, the need to get out was overwhelming.

"But you knew that already didn't you Caroline?" he continued glancing over his shoulder with a gentle smile.

Not a gentle smile she realized.

A cunning smile

A disarming smile

"I wanted to make sure, I had to ask." she replied hesitantly.

The truth was, she _had _to make sure. She had to look him in the face to ensure he was telling the truth.

The truth would set you free.

But the truth did not set _her_ free.

It had crippled her.

If he didn't know where she was that meant she was still out there, still missing.

Still gone

"What are you painting?" she asked quietly, the innocence of her question startling them both.

She was making conversation, small talk, she noted with alarm.

Klaus glanced over his shoulder raising one blonde eye brow in question before turning back to his artwork.

"The river Styx"

It was breathtaking.

The image of a large expanse of water took her breath away; the smooth strokes of blue and green gave the painting an ethereal feel.

He was painting another world.

"The first time I saw her, I was just a kid. I had been walking through the woods one night when I heard the splashing of water. I had never seen water so blue before but it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen " .

He was giving her something he had never given her before.

A front row seat to his humanity

Caroline didn't need to ask who he was referring to; there was only one woman that owned Niklaus Mikaelson in totality.

Arianna Bennett

He ran his hands over the edges of the canvas; his eyes glazed over and dull.

He was lost.

He was lost to his memories.

"She was drowning and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I remember dragging her out of the water and for a moment she was dead in my arms."

He hesitated turning around he stared at Caroline.

"I breathed life back into her"

Caroline trembled internally at the severity of his passion.

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked curiously

Klaus shrugged in response taking a step closer to her he stared at her, ravenous and unashamed.

This was who he was he was silently telling her. _This _was all he was.

Unashamed, untamed and unwanted.

"Every time I tell myself to stop _pursuing _you, you show up at my house _drowning _in front of me._ Every time _I tell myself to stop caring you take the choice away from me by showing up here as if you have some divine right to be here. You tell me to stop every single time but you can't make yourself stop because the truth is you don't want me to stop"

Caroline looked away unable to meet his eyes.

He was right.

Every time she pushed him away, Klaus the vampire, Klaus the destroyer, Klaus the _monster _the more she yearned to see the other Klaus.

_Arianna's _Klaus.

The Klaus who was left tormented for centuries of the mere memory of her, who tore himself up from the inside at the thought of losing her.

The Klaus who would see the world burned to the ground if it meant he could dig her out from the ashes.

He was right.

She didn't want him to stop, she just wanted _more. _

"But you don't need me to save you do you love? You are more than capable of breathing life back into yourself perhaps that is what I find most beautiful about you. I could never break you; you would never let me. You gave away that power a long time ago"

Caroline felt the dull ache of internal wounds long forgotten pulsate beneath her chest; she raised her hand slightly to rest softly against her heart.

"Just like you did" she whispered.

His jaw tightened his eyes full of ancient sadness.

"Mother always did say I played too rough with my toys"

The haze that had settled over him had lifted; the door to his past was closed.

She wasn't going to get anything more out of him.

"I'll have some of my people look into your missing witch situation"

Caroline gasped in surprise, she was not expecting that.

"Why would you do that? Worried you're going to lose your investment?" she asked sarcastically taking several steps towards the door.

She was desperate for distance, distance between them physically, distance between them emotionally.

As if sensing the direction of her thoughts, he advanced on her quickly trapping her against the wall, his arms resting on either side of her head he stared down at her intently.

Caroline closed her eyes tightly, her heart beating rapidly in her ears defeating her. A war was raging within her, a war she was seconds away from losing.

"I would do it for you" he whispered

She was lost.

13 year old Caroline wasn't able to understand then what she understood now.

That there were people who come into your life and left a permanent mark, they painted your soul different colors and changed the way you saw the world, and when they went missing, when they were lost, you realized that somewhere along the way you lost yourself.

But if you were one of the lucky ones and you paid enough attention you realize that while we lose ourselves to the things we love, we also find ourselves there too.


End file.
